new because we are lost

Post Reply New Topic

I'm pretty sure part of it was because they were big, but also, he just didn't seem to understand their existence in our lives, his entire life, where for most children, that would be a given. he doesn't show much interest in the cat, but that may be different circumstances. one passed away at 25 years, last year, one is outside all the time, and the other is a little witch, so not a whole lot of opprotunity there.

I still don't have a good grasp of the difference between NT, Aspie, and HFA. I am working on it, but it is awfully confusing.

I was at the point of just skipping evaluation for him as our insurance refused, and we were going to just try and keep doing the best we can with what we have, but friends and family feel that if we go ahead and get an outside evaluation and diagnosis, our insurance will have to compy with his needs, and other resources will become available. What do you think about this?

I sure hope your weather improves being in California, I forget that this is terrible weather for alot people, summertime that is. take care

Hi! I'm new too!

I haven't read all of the responses yet, but I do want to share two things you might find helpful.

The first is that my daughter is quite verbal. Actually advanced verbally at this point (though she was delayed and didn't start to really catch up until she was 4 and older). However, despite the fact that her "usual" verbal skills surpass her peers, sometimes she is still nonverbal. Particularly if she is stressed out or overstimulated. At times like that, she will either become completely mute, resort to speaking baby talk in the tiniest voice you can imagine, or spelling what she wants to say in the air. It might also help you to consider auditory processing issues. While I am not autistic, I do have auditory processing issues. If I am in an environment that is too overstimulating, my ability to process what people are saying to me goes way down. People either sound somewhat like Charlie Brown's teacher or a bad radio station that is out of range. If I can't actually watch other people's mouths when this happens, I really can't follow chunks of what is being said to me. Sometimes, when it is important, this makes me feel anxious and that makes the issue even worse.

Another thing you might find helpful is what to say to your son. My son has ADHD and NVLD. He knows he is not like other kids. I have told him that his brain works differently than most people's brains work, and because of that, some things are easier for him and some things are harder. For him, he has a lot of executive functioning issues. When he went on meds a few years ago, his neurologist explained it to him that his frontal lobe was sleepy and that's why some things are hard for him. His medications helped his frontal lobe "wake up" so he could use his whole brain. It's kind of like how my glasses help me see. They don't make me a better person or a more able person, they just help me to fully use what I've got.

Recently, my son was reading a book in school that had a character in it who has AS. He mentioned it to me and then asked if I thought he had AS. He is able to see some similarities between himself and the kid in his book. Does your son read? Maybe finding an age appropriate book? Not a book about autism, per se, but a book in which a character has it, so maybe your son can kind of see it for himself?

Aspie vs. HFA --->>> Very little. Or, to be more accurate, the difference is often in the eye of the beholder... As for NT, it is another way of saying "normal". So the differences that distinguish Aspies and "Auties" from NTs define what either side is (or is not).

Weather --->>> I have never tolerated heat well. But for some reason this year, I'm dehydrating a lot. Possibly my electrolytes are out of balance. I'll start to feel better, then the slightest thing will push me back over the edge. But thanks.

Evaluation --->>> Whether or not your insurance would have to comply with his needs depends on, A: the exact terms of your insurance, B: the perceived validity of the outside diagnosis. So it's a decision you want to make carefully.

Your son's reaction to dogs --->>> I've been thinking about this, and it is interesting, because I've actually expanded some of my theories as a result. You see, I was hyperlexic, and driven to understand. So if I didn't understand something - which was pretty often - I'd ask and dig and read and find out whatever I could. Some things took me years (it is only recently that I begin to understand some of the significances I instinctively perceived in my obsession with certain aspects of World War Two - to avoid any possible misunderstanding, my views all center on the assumption that Nazi policies = evil), but many things I could work out if I put my mind to it. So while I was afraid of dogs at first, and didn't understand them as well, my verbal skills helped me learn what they were so I could begin to understand them. (This is how I finally learned to - somewhat - understand people. I won't say I understand them perfectly, but I understand many things I never imagined I would.) So, if I had lacked those verbal skills, or they'd been stunted for whatever reason, I might have found myself in the same position as your son. Once I realised this, I also realised that a lot of things that differentiate me from many other Aspies and "Auties" can be explained easily - in most of those cases, I was once, when much younger, in similar places, but pursued understanding until I "learned my way out". I'm not sure if that will make sense to you or not, since this is my first approximation of an explanation.

For example, if I'd been born into a household with big dogs, I would have been scared, and at least initially not understood who they were, what they wanted, why they were there, etc. But then, I would have asked, and read, and learned enough to come to the conclusion that they were creatures trapped in a world they didn't make, desperately trying to communicate with me. And then, they would have made sense to me (as dogs do now) and I would have been happy. But I never thought much about this process, because, for a lot of aspects of life, it was over by the time I was six or so. It was only the thornier problems - like people - that I struggled with for a long time. (For example, one thing I'm still coming to terms with: yes, there are things I don't understand, but at least I know that. And in some cases, I can struggle to change it. But most NTs never even guess there are things they don't understand about us. It never even occurs to most of them there is anything they might need to change...)

Sorry this is so choppy; tomorrow is going to be a rough day, and Sunday I'll be offline most of the day, and then battling a malware infection on a friend's computer half the night. If it's anything like the last time (and I have reason to suspect, if anything, it is worse) he had over 5,000 infections on that thing. Once one gets in, they open the door to others. So I wanted to get this down while I could. (And, to be honest, executive function issues keep me struggling more than most people to keep up with everything I mean to do.) And I got online late, because earlier I was going to visit a very lovely lady named Oona - my new granddaughter, who was born one minute before noon today.

Just a quick note: this actually makes sense to me. I'm hyperlexic. I'm a writer, in fact. And yet, there are times and situations that will leave me mute. If you need help making sense of this, I can try to give you some pointers, once I get through some of the things piled up in my life right now. I'm subscribed to this thread, so just post here and I'll get back to you when I can. (Since it is so close to the questions in this thread anyway, I assume it might be helpful to the OP as well. And I'm subscribed. If you start a new thread, I might not find it... )