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Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 23 May 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
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15 Jun 2012, 2:45 am

So this girl I was involved with, turned out she was stuck between myself and a guy... After much confusion I pushed her away as she was playing games. She tells me about the fun times they have and throws on the end 'little does he know it's only because you walked away or I'd be with you' now she messages about their honeymoon plans. Currently post freak out and In shutdown mode, but thought I'd try posting



questor
Veteran
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15 Jun 2012, 3:19 am

This girl is a nasty piece of work, who gets her jollies by having as many guys hot for her as she can, and by digging a knife into the ones she only wants to keep dangling, without actually being a true GF to them. Just let this relationship go. She is a toxic person.

For your own mental health, block her phone number and her email address, so she can't get at you any more. Toxic people should not be encouraged.

Sorry this relationship didn't work out for you.


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cinbad
Deinonychus
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15 Jun 2012, 5:47 am

I disagree. I think she is either trying to give you a hint that she would drop him if you asked her to, or that she was hurt when you broke up but has forgiven you and wants to be friends. So she jokes about the pain to ease the tension. She might want you to joke about it too. But I can tell you, she is hurt by your rejection.


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Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 23 May 2012
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15 Jun 2012, 7:00 am

She wanted to be with both of us and I cannot be with someone 'part time'
There were issues with the aspie thing aswell as I'm an aspie and she is NT, when I told her she talked to me a lot like I couldn't understand anything she says etc
She is now marrying this guy but she chose that... Like I said she wants both



Chris71
Sea Gull
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Joined: 24 May 2011
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15 Jun 2012, 9:14 am

Quote:
I think she is either trying to give you a hint that she would drop him if you asked her to, or that she was hurt when you broke up but has forgiven you and wants to be friends

Not "would drop him", but she would like you to *think* that she would drop him if you asked her to ; or wants to be friends again.

It's all about the power-points game that many young ladies play. Young women are not used to being pushed away by guys, so the reaction to her shock is to try to make you feel jealous by demonstrating how desirable (in her opinion) she must be.
Yes she feels hurt, not because of wanting to choose you over him, but she's hurt because you have dented her desire to feel that she can have any guy she wants. Sadly many other guys out there are lame and fall for these tricks all the time. Good on you for not standing up for that rubbish.

By trying to make you feel jealous she thinks that you will want her again ; and that will give her a feeling of power. You need to make sure that you don't give all your points away to her by falling for it.



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Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 23 May 2012
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16 Jun 2012, 1:33 am

Ah I'm female, hence lot of the complication

I do miss the friendship as I don't have close friends, however I don't think friends are an option now. Is that bad?