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Butters
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15 Jun 2012, 4:30 pm

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right area seeing as this is more adult discussion than anything. So if its in the wrong area I apologize in advance and please feel free to move it to the correct section.

I wasn't looking for turn on's or offs in a sexual mannor, more so what attracts you to some one.

For me its smarts. Anyone here seen Criminal Minds? Spencer Reid ? I freaking love hearing him talk tho tho somethings I may not understand until he later explains them. I also have a small interest in Phycology and I'm thinking of taking a cours in college once I start.

But thats always been a big thing that attracts me to someone. One of the main reasons I had such a big attraction to my boyfriend when we first met. ( just recently he found out he has a high possibility of having AS. )

As for turn offs ( what makes me not want to be with or around someone. )
Jackasses, just the people that are jerks for no reason other than to be a jerk. I can not stand people like that.

So what attracts you to someone and what puts you off from liking someone?



Thom_Fuleri
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15 Jun 2012, 4:52 pm

I can definitely agree on intelligence. Smart people attract me. I like being able to spend time with people that I can talk to and learn stuff. Stupid people put me right off.
It's not entirely accurate, but I have an "idiot test" that I use to weed out no-hopers. I look at whether they close their mouth when they're not using it. If not, they give the stereotypical "thicko" impression and I steer clear.

I'm also attracted to unusual features. Hollywood-style good looks do very little for me, but it you're a little different, you have my attention.

And finally - I'm strongly attracted to people who are interested in me. I don't want to work hard to keep someone's attention; if I'm not interesting enough as I am, the effort involved doesn't fit the reward.



cathylynn
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15 Jun 2012, 5:18 pm

musical talent is a turn-on. smoking is a HUGE turn-off.



HisDivineMajesty
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15 Jun 2012, 5:37 pm

Butters wrote:
For me its smarts. Anyone here seen Criminal Minds? Spencer Reid ? I freaking love hearing him talk tho tho somethings I may not understand until he later explains them. I also have a small interest in Phycology and I'm thinking of taking a cours in college once I start.


It's not the smarts, then - it's the charisma. It's appearing smart in a pretty way, and being a smooth talker. You see, the actor who portrays the character is a male model and part-time director. He's extremely good at communication, but he doesn't seem to have any scientific background. My mother is very interested in the man, and I can see why. In her eyes, he looks cute in an attractive way. A rare perfect mix of appearing smart and sexy.

Butters wrote:
So what attracts you to someone and what puts you off from liking someone?


Mostly, I think it's their appearance. Not just a woman's looks - they need a certain set of beliefs, ideals and characteristics that I can accept. And that's harder than it seems. One indication of doing something wrong is enough for me to distrust someone for the rest of my life. In a way, that's why I can't really be in love with a woman. They all have flaws that become very obvious as you speak to them - flaws I can't forgive, like gossiping and dishonesty.

It would be much more attractive if they'd just say everything to someone's face. It asserts dominance in a way I respect, and they don't appear like backstabbing half-wits intent on hurting each other and me. That way, you know what you're up against, and you don't need a private intelligence service to predict the more dangerous patterns in their behaviour. If they're cheating, I'd like them to be honest so I can send them away without wasting more time.



minervx
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15 Jun 2012, 5:47 pm

Turn-Ons
a perfect balance of both humility and assertiveness; having good morals without being self-righteous, uptight, or way too conservative; compassion and understandingness; affectionate, but also a challenge

Turn-Offs
people who are passive, nuetral and too shy



NTAndrew
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15 Jun 2012, 6:20 pm

Intelligence, curiosity, creativity and a sense of humor doesn't hurt either.

I love a woman who displays special talents or skills.



Shatbat
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15 Jun 2012, 7:18 pm

This is the right area :D

To me it's, in whatever order it comes to my mind

- Intelligence. A knowledgeable and smart woman is very attractive to me
- Looks. Yup! What makes me stand out is that I care much, much more about faces than everything else together. The way they smile, the way they get red or shy, gestures, a woman with an eternal scowl is very, very unatractive to me. There is more about the faces, but I can't put my finger on it.
- Smell. Very important. Walking with a friend or a girlfriend, when a gust of wind passes and her scent comes to me, it's one of the best feelings I know. Except that one time where I was worried and ashamed about my body odour, umtil I realized it was not mine but hers. Ugh.
- Compatibility. Some people it's a pain to get beyond the 5 minutes of initial conversation I've got scripted in my head. With others I can go on for hours without pressure. I hold no ill will against the first group, but I treasure thosr who are in the second one.
- Cute factor. Not about looking cute, altough they usually look cute too, but about being that way, warm and... cute :lol: I have a very good friend who can be a b****, but is cute when talking or intracting with me, and that's what matters to me.

Now that I've gottem this in paper, it explains why I don't like the vain, dumb kind of woman who talk about silly things and seem to be empty inside, and cold and stuff.


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Last edited by Shatbat on 15 Jun 2012, 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HisDivineMajesty
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15 Jun 2012, 8:51 pm

Shatbat wrote:
There is more, but I can't put my finger on it.


Wow. I see what you did there!



DogsWithoutHorses
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15 Jun 2012, 9:15 pm

on: intelligence off: arrogance

on: wit off: class clown

on: cares about politics off: conservative or libertarian

on:
self awareness off: self obsession

on: always up for a good discussion off: has to argue about everything

on: understands intersectionality (I've totally fallen for social justice cred.) off: only thinks they understand

on: sweetness off: childishness


Anybody here watch TrueBlood? Terry is pretty much perfect. (vampires shmampires) Textbook good man.
Strong, supportive, emotionally honest, loves his wife and the children to pieces, weird as s**t, and insightful as hell...excuse me while I swoon

Your mamma just gets a little crazy sometimes, which means we just have to love her that much harder.

Ten reasons why you can trust me with your kids: Number one, I’m a nurturer. I found a baby armadillo by the side of the road, and I nursed it, and now it sleeps under my bed, and its name is Felix. Number two, I have a diploma, from anger management, where I learned talking about your feelings is a manly thing to do. Number three [Arlene runs past him, to the bathroom], number three, I never kill nothin’ by accident. Number four…


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Shatbat
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15 Jun 2012, 9:24 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
There is more, but I can't put my finger on it.


Wow. I see what you did there!


:lol:

I don't, must be an aspie thing :P. I rephrased that part to make it a bit less ambiguous, did it help?


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poppyfields
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15 Jun 2012, 10:35 pm

Turned on by:
- compassion for others
- interest in area different from those I'm into
- a similar sense of humour
- intelligent, but not necesarily booksmart. Just someone who I can talk to who doesn't need to force me to think what they do but instead loves learning for its own sake and accepts differences
- sincerity

Turned off by:

- keen interest in politics
- sexual humour
- too shy
- computer nerds, especially if they are also into what I perceive as internet nerd culture, because I find it boring, dull, and devoid of genuine, real interactions
- pretentiousness
- into drugs/alcohol
- makes fun of others for jokes



Boxman108
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16 Jun 2012, 8:58 am

Being generally cheerful, bubbly, silly are all good. Smart, understanding, open minded, and genuinely caring are even more important.

Turn offs would be what it seems like what's wrong with most of the population, unfortunately. Too focused on money, popularity, reputation, how people look, etc. All the shallow things that should have stayed in high school. They are incredibly selfish and think others are expendable or live to serve them.


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Tim_Tex
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19 Jun 2012, 4:19 am

Turn-ons:

Artsy
likes to travel
high sex drive
wants kids
college-educated (bachelor's or higher)
very funny
practices Christianity/Reform Judaism

Turn-offs:

alcoholic/druggie
doesn't want kids
lifestyle consists primarily of sitting at home playing video games
asexual/saving herself until marriage/thinks anything other than Missionary is "evil"
religious fundamentalist (any religion)


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rosemund
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19 Jun 2012, 2:11 pm

Ons:
-Intelligence.
-Keen on politics.
-Well educated.
-Funny.
-Keen on travel.
-Cooks. (Because I hate to cook.)
-Dark hair.

Offs:
-Musicians.
-Bad boys.
-Fundamentally religious.
-Outdoorsy.
-Clingy.
-Impractical.
-Facial hair.
-Drugs/alcoholic tendencies.



Tim_Tex
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19 Jun 2012, 2:39 pm

rosemund wrote:
Ons:
-Intelligence.
-Keen on politics.
-Well educated.
-Funny.
-Keen on travel.
-Cooks. (Because I hate to cook.)
-Dark hair.

Offs:
-Musicians.
-Bad boys.
-Fundamentally religious.
-Outdoorsy.
-Clingy.
-Impractical.
-Facial hair.
-Drugs/alcoholic tendencies.


That describes me accurately, except I like being outdoors.


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