Howdy, long time reader, first time contributor :) Nebraska

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For those who prefer short introductions:

Hello from the great state of Nebraska, hope your day has been going well!

For those who have time: (Warning: Wall of Text ) (Sorry it is really hard for me to describe emotions and feelings, if you can understand)

Hello, my name is secondstar, I'm from Nebraska and I have come here looking for guidance. Being a 25 year old white male I guess I may fit your stereotypical view of someone searching the Internet for information about the Spectrum. Well that's who I am and this is where I was led.

I have not been diagnosed before, nor have I even been to a "shrink", but after doing my research this past year I think I should entertain the idea. My mother, after discussing my thoughts on my childhood did some reading of her own. After reading about other children and their "alternative" childhoods she told me it was like reading about me all over the net, if that makes sense. I have always felt that life has been dull and that I'm just here going through the motions day-to-day to make other people happy.

Now I have always been someone who has hated inconveniencing people, never asking for money or assistance, always been laid-back and hermit-like so even looking to meet a therapist or psychologist was something I would never consider. It's like I'm afraid to ask for confirmation because I don't want to be told that I'm "jumping on the bandwagon" so to speak. Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from, or am I making it up in my head? Would a therapist push me away or tell me off if I showed up with a list of my quirks and online test results or tell me that I'm just depressed or making stuff up?

I don't think you'd want to hear my "symptoms" since they mirror most everything I have read, plus my parents gave me their insight to my early years and what they noticed of my odd childhood follows that as well. Since this is an introduction I'd like to keep it short and not ramble (which is what I really want!).

For those in Nebraska where can I go for guidance, a diagnosis, support? How do you prepare for an evaluation?

TL;DR - Hello, young adult might be aspie, am I crazy, what do I need to do?

Welcome to WP!

Hi secondstar!

If you go to a therapist of any sort & they accuse you of jumping on the bandwagon, walk immediately. Just stand up & get the hell out. Even if you're wrong about the AS (which I kinda doubt, given your research & resonance), to tell you that smacks of an arrogance that is just not workable in this particular situation.

I'm in NM, so can't help you find a therapist in your area. When my partner walked out leaving nothing but a note while I was grocery shopping, a friend referred me to a therapist, who sucked & pretty much misdiagnosed my problem (sexual abuse survivor... nope), another friend suggested a different one who did help me quite a bit, tho' AS was not on our screen at the time. Then when that therapist retired, she suggested a couple of others & I really connected w/one of them. After struggling to understand why I was having the interpersonal problems I had, I read an article on AS in the sibs of people who were autistic & as my brother is on the far end of the autistic spectrum (he lives in supervised housing w/caretakers, is non-verbal & basically stims all day) I asked her if she thought it was a possibility. She rocked back in her chair, gave it a moment's thought & then said... "If it doesn't make sense to you, you can't do it, right?" Well, duh. And then she said a couple of other things like that & it turned out she has a brother that is AS & suddenly EVERYTHING that was going on made perfect sense: the scapegoating, the miscommunication, the mistaken interpretations of motive, all of it.

You might try contacting the therapists in your area & ask them how familiar they are w/AS. You might find one that has a relative like I did. Who likes her relative. That'd be important. I listen for signs that they had positive feelings about some of the traits, like ability to do a really thorough job of something, develop extensive knowledge about a topic, & also sympathy for our struggles.

Hope this helps.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you everyone for the welcome introductions!

Deep down I'm a nervous person, socially, so thank you for your support DonkeyBuster!

secondstar,

Yes, I know how that is. And I know how brave a person has to be to pick up the phone & call total strangers. If you think of it as a business call rather than a personal call, does that make a difference? And you might spend some time developing a list of questions you would like to ask any potential therapist.

One thing I would pay particular attention to is if you feel they heard you & responded in a manner that gave you information. I find that very important. I am realizing more & more every day how some people are just too vague for me to understand & others seem to naturally impart useful information when they speak. It gets very frustrating trying to get clarity w/the vague types & we both end up pissed.

And again, welcome to WP!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome, I'm originally from western Iowa and live in central Iowa. Good to meet another from the Midwest, doesn't seem like there are many here. I used to and still am guilty from time to time of sharing in your stubbornness. I usually refuse my parents when they try to give me "gas money" for my drive home or against asking a professor for help. If I can't do it myself than what's the point.

Definitely go for a diagnosis man, there's nothing to be afraid of. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 18 and I spearheaded it. Just tell the truth in its entirety, don't try to downplay anything because you think it was silly or are embarrassed. And make sure you get a professional and possibly multiple opinions. If someone tries to pass you off causally they probably aren't good.

Its not a bandwagon, its a serious problem that is finally getting some recognition and support. It's also your life. Get any help you need. Maybe one day children on the spectrum wont be born into a hostile world that wants them dead.