That Awkward moment when....

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When your mother in law says the phrase "shot your wad" and uses it wrong. As in "Oh Frances of course you should go back to school! Most people think that by the time you're 30 you've just shot your wad but.... are you ok? Whats wrong? Why are you breathing like that! Get her some water!"

When you go to have dinner at a Jewish friends house and have no clue that you just ruined his mothers china by putting ranch dressing on the roast beef.

...When someone tries to make an "awkward moment" joke with a situation that is not awkward, but merely unfortunate.

It gets a bit awkward when I don't understand verbal instructions.

You realize that even though you put the lotion on your skin, you are still going to get the hose again.

Where have you been? I just posted a where is Tequila post. You are supposed to check in dammit!

That awkward moment when your home alone talking to yourself & dancing while moping & your parents suddenly open the door

...when you ask your wife to define "over-analyzing", only to realize the definition of over-analyzing must be to define over-analyzing...

hmm..maybe more of a facepalm moment.

That awkward moment when you shriek at a bug, and everyone looks at you like you've gone crazy.

The awkward moment when you're hanging out with a new acquaintance and you realize you're on a date.

That awkward moment when you're hanging out w/a friend & HE thinks you're on a date together.

When you see an NT flapping their hands like an anime schoolgirl character upon seeing the latest release in the Twilight saga...

(I'm aware of the fact that not all persons on the Spectrum do this, it's just a commonly-occurring trait)

When you look in your classroom and notice everybody tapping their pencils in almost perfect synchronicity...

(Makes me believe stimming is far more common in the NT universe than people care to think)

That happened to me in the middle of a crowded restaurant when I opened my napkin and a roach flew out.

That awkward moment when you notice you've forgotten to lock the restroom door but you can't reach it and you can't stand up just then...

When I got diarrhea at work and s**t my pants. I had to waddle up the stairs to the restroom and cleaned myself up putting on a clean pair of panties that I kept in my locker. Glad I got in the habit of keeping a couple of pairs in there all the time. Glad the poop didn't soak through to my outside pants.

Sorry, but I just had to laugh. There was this popular jock-type kid in high school who had done this after attempting to flatulate. He stands up suddenly and exclaims that he sharted and we all laughed so hard. Good times

Now that a lot of time past it is pretty funny. I have also broke wind. I was with my mom in one of our larger cities walking across a 4 lane street. I started letting gas out and didn't stop until I got on the other side with my mom. Yes, I get to laughing too, especially if the wind makes a funny sound. But, not even these times were as awkward for me as the pooping episode at work.