Things YOU Understand (but Don't Understand) About NTs

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kirayng
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05 Jul 2012, 2:49 pm

again_with_this wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I get confused with sarcasm half the time. I dont understand why sarcasm is used is it used for a hidden attempt at humor or what?


Gee, ya think?


Ouch or lol which is it haha :oops:



Mdyar
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05 Jul 2012, 8:57 pm

again_with_this wrote:
Mdyar wrote:

Wait a minute. There are plenty of "NT" introverts that are corralled by extroverts. They have these topics on their forums.


Yes, but how many of them are truly shocked by it? Being NT, they fully understand this dimension of the their extroverted brethren, they just don't like dealing with it. I doubt they're actually clueless about the "social logic" behind it.


Interestingly, 30 percent of people have autistic traits. These 'mystery' topics are discussed there as are strategies of coping.

But wholly, language is intact. Wholly, there are no Sally Anne issues.

I found a stat that stated 3 percent of the population are BAP or are phenotypes of autism.

It's all spectral as these lines occur outside of diagnostic Asperger's syndrome.

Another twist to this is that there are extroverts on the spectrum, " active but odd."

I would guess that these traits spread across the human spectrum of introversion and extroversion.

Quote:
I doubt they're actually clueless about the "social logic" behind it


Neither am I. But, are they emotionally clueless about it, as in empathy, as in mirroring one another? No. That's the crux of it I believe - the demarcating dividing line. As I stated in upper thread, there is that powerful need to belong in 'running in the pack', all via empathy/fear - stemming from an indelible and intrinsic instinct.

There isn't a cut or a slice of humanity, as Aspie/NT. For one, schizoids lack that "intrinsic need." I would think that schizoid is a spectrum and scales into the sub clinical.

In fact, you can take all PD's and find this 'splitting off' from the mean of the population.



again_with_this
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10 Jul 2012, 11:53 am

Mdyar wrote:
Interestingly, 30 percent of people have autistic traits. These 'mystery' topics are discussed there as are strategies of coping.

But wholly, language is intact. Wholly, there are no Sally Anne issues.

I found a stat that stated 3 percent of the population are BAP or are phenotypes of autism.

It's all spectral as these lines occur outside of diagnostic Asperger's syndrome.

Another twist to this is that there are extroverts on the spectrum, " active but odd."

I would guess that these traits spread across the human spectrum of introversion and extroversion.


30% have "autistic traits" but are not actually autistic. What percentage of autistics have "neurotypical traits," and where is the dividing line between an NT with autistic traits, or an autistic with neurotypical traits?

The Sally-Anne thing still bothers me. While I understand some adults with autism may still struggle with it, I would assume most adults could figure it out even if they were autistic, so I'm not sure how a good a test that is for adults trying to figure themselves out.

As for extroversion, is it simply "wanting social attention," as that would indeed apply to some people on the spectrum, the active-but-odd bunch. However, as autistics, the process of socialization--no matter how much it's desired--would still be taxing and draining. The true extrovert is the one who feels energized by social interaction. Feels drained without it. I'm not sure how many highly social autistics would still be considered extroverted by this latter definition.



again_with_this
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10 Jul 2012, 11:57 am

Mdyar wrote:
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I doubt they're actually clueless about the "social logic" behind it


Neither am I. But, are they emotionally clueless about it, as in empathy, as in mirroring one another? No. That's the crux of it I believe - the demarcating dividing line. As I stated in upper thread, there is that powerful need to belong in 'running in the pack', all via empathy/fear - stemming from an indelible and intrinsic instinct.

There isn't a cut or a slice of humanity, as Aspie/NT. For one, schizoids lack that "intrinsic need." I would think that schizoid is a spectrum and scales into the sub clinical.

In fact, you can take all PD's and find this 'splitting off' from the mean of the population.


When you say "emotionally clueless," I have to pause for a minute. Is it possible to understand emotionally but reject such behavior in principle?

In other words, "there is that powerful need to belong in 'running in the pack', all via empathy/fear - stemming from an indelible and intrinsic instinct," means not only recognizing the social dynamic, but participating in it as well, whether voluntary or involuntary.

When it comes to empathy, there seem to be three types:
1) Those that don't understand
2) Those that understand, but can't bring themselves to conform to the expected social norm
3) Those that understand and do conform (whether instinctively or by choice)

I guess you're saying that having empathy = #3, both understanding AND acting accordingly. It's not just feeling/knowing but also response that's required to "have empathy"? I guess "showing empathy" would be a slightly better term.



NTAndrew
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10 Jul 2012, 1:51 pm

again_with_this wrote:
Unseen wrote:
NTs seem to be obsessed with happiness. Not happiness itself, but the outward demonstration of happiness.

If someone isn't smiling and happy, then there has to be an urgent intervention to make them happy again. It doesn't matter how they actually feel - they MUST be smiling and happy no matter what, or else something is wrong with them and they must see a doctor and take pills.

You know, I've actually had people telling me that I should look happier because otherwise I'm "spoiling other people's good mood." Well, I'm sorry but I can't be smiling all the time... I can't.


Excellent observation. I've had NTs ask me if I was feeling down, when really I felt fine. I've also had surrounding NTs agree with the first one and chime in with things like, "smile more," or "yeah, I agree, you don't look too happy."

I've come to realize NTs like the display of happiness, and anything short of that may be seen as bothersome. I've also seen many putting on a happy face. Not necessarily phony, but a need to show their happiness moreso than would feel natural. But I don't know why they just can't accept that sometimes I'm happy, but don't feel the need to "show it" like they do.


Interesting. This past weekend I was with a group of friends and acquaintances. A lot of people asked me if something was wrong and that I seemed awfully quiet. I took that as a sign they cared about me and were concerned for my well being, not that they wanted to plaster a happy face on my usually glum expression. I guess it's a matter of perspective. By the way, although I denied it (how NT of me) I was slipping into another of my clinical depressions. I felt less alone knowing that people actually noticed how I was, even if I wasn't the life of the party.



Mdyar
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10 Jul 2012, 7:50 pm

again_with_this wrote:
30% have "autistic traits" but are not actually autistic. What percentage of autistics have "neurotypical traits," and where is the dividing line between an NT with autistic traits, or an autistic with neurotypical traits?


The line? Is there a line? I really don't believe so. For example, parents of autistic children can have all of it, but the severity is sub clinical - it's below a "significant impairment," below the Dx threshold. Plenty of family interviews with these here. I would guess that one could have one trait; two; have them all but with only a grain/iota of it, etc. And you can swing it the other way, and go completely non-verbal - lending to that concept of spectrum.

Quote:
The Sally-Anne thing still bothers me. While I understand some adults with autism may still struggle with it, I would assume most adults could figure it out even if they were autistic, so I'm not sure how a good a test that is for adults trying to figure themselves out.


It seems there is still an active translation of this into adulthood.



Quote:
As for extroversion, is it simply "wanting social attention," as that would indeed apply to some people on the spectrum, the active-but-odd bunch. However, as autistics, the process of socialization--no matter how much it's desired--would still be taxing and draining. The true extrovert is the one who feels energized by social interaction. Feels drained without it. I'm not sure how many highly social autistics would still be considered extroverted by this latter definition.


True extroverts develop information via social contact vs alone. There was an RN here( Dxd btw) who loved her job, who loved the people contact.

True extro?



Mdyar
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10 Jul 2012, 8:13 pm

again_with_this wrote:
When you say "emotionally clueless," I have to pause for a minute. Is it possible to understand emotionally but reject such behavior in principle?

In other words, "there is that powerful need to belong in 'running in the pack', all via empathy/fear - stemming from an indelible and intrinsic instinct," means not only recognizing the social dynamic, but participating in it as well, whether voluntary or involuntary.

When it comes to empathy, there seem to be three types:
1) Those that don't understand
2) Those that understand, but can't bring themselves to conform to the expected social norm
3) Those that understand and do conform (whether instinctively or by choice)

I guess you're saying that having empathy = #3, both understanding AND acting accordingly. It's not just feeling/knowing but also response that's required to "have empathy"? I guess "showing empathy" would be a slightly better term.


No doubt, I get the impression that general humankind has an instinct for bonding. Your term? I have noticed this general aspect/trait of fear of displeasing and pleasing autonomically generated.

Do ASD folk feel separated from all this as being someone as looking in at it - not feeling the influence of culture - but abstracting into this through intellect? That's the question. Somewhere therein lies this division, at least in my perception of my personal experience.

I think of this phenomenon/ need/ eventual conditioning manifesting itself in the extreme behavior of the kamikaze dive bombers in the second war. In the name of what? Emperor worship? Worship of a creature with supposedly divine attributes? What motivated such self sacrifice? Empathy.



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10 Jul 2012, 9:29 pm

Mdyar wrote:
I think of this phenomenon/ need/ eventual conditioning manifesting itself in the extreme behavior of the kamikaze dive bombers in the second war. In the name of what? Emperor worship? Worship of a creature with supposedly divine attributes? What motivated such self sacrifice? Empathy.


I am extremely hesitant to take this at face value. It's one thing for people to sacrifice their lives to save others, but it's another thing to allow yourself to be used as a living bomb. I am not sure that it is a matter of empathy. I suspect a lot of it had to do with training, social expectations, and social pressure.