Cut off one side of my family

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So, yeah, i am so tired of the bs in my life. I concluded that it was all coming from my father, who is an abusive narcissist. Once I told him off, he sent me angry email and text, basically spewing more bulls*** at me. Then, my aunt, his sister, got involved. We discovered that she is really really messed up, as much as my mom kept telling me. Am I surprised? Yes, because there was this veneer over the both of them my whole life. They f***in' talk down to me like I'm a small child and tell me how to live my life, despite having no interest in the actual details. So, they are out. However, I am dealing with the issue of having completely shut my father and his sister out of my life. Um, I have all these feelings, and they are difficult to deal with. As anyone else been in this situation? Help with feelings? I am having difficulty, also I am obsessing. It's very obnoxious. Grr.
Also, what's with people who only think of you as a child, when you've clearly aged? Time isn't *that* relative, lol.

I need to vent. Thanks for listening.

I know exactly what your going through. Except unlike you I haven't got up the courage to kick my father out of my life. I dont know how to come to terms with your feelings. If you are better off and happier for having them out of your life then you should focus on that the rest will resolve with time.

You're probably going to have some grief, just as if someone had died. You have invested feelings in the relationship, trying to make it work in the past. You probably also have a lot of bottled up anger, frustration, feelings of being misunderstood.

Give it time, and try not to be bitter but to honestly explore the feelings when they come up, and maybe journal about them. You can love someone without being able to live with or be around them. That's where the conflicting feelings come in. You wanted to be accepted for who you were, you weren't accepted, now you're moving on. But some of those old wants and feelings are going to take time to work through and get out of your system.

What I would also recommend is not burning bridges with any expressions of hate. Just make it a clean cut. People can change, and sometimes down the line people get back in touch and it works, other times it doesn't. But we're all growing all the time. Some just grow a lot more sloooowwwwly than others , or block their own growth in one direction for - well - sometimes decades or a lifetime. It sounds like your dad and aunt have a lot of problems. But they are their problems, and if they're toxic for you to be around you have a right to not be around them.

Ah, thank you spiritblooms. Problem is, he's taken advantage of the side of me that cares for far too long. Journaling is a good suggestion. Now if only I can bring myself to pick up the book.... I remember journaling about him years ago when I had blocked out all the crap. I read two sentences and could not read another word. Scary thing is, I also remember displaying some of those traits. Very dark stuff. Now I am trying to core them like a cherry. Those two are actually really damaged from their own f'd up upbringing. I have no idea what went on in that family, but it messed with 5/5 children. It ends here.

Wanderinggirl... um, physical distance may be the best first step, just for the literal breathing space, if you don't have that already. for me, after the initial stand-up, i felt truly happy for the first time ever, i think. but the harrasement that ensued...lol. I hope for your sake you have some support. If you don't, pm me or something.

Don't be surprised when they 'realize the error of their ways' too soon, or some crisis that requires your attention pops up

'Hoovering'

best thing i ever did to the part of my family who did exactly that was just stop caring its hard sure but once you realize people like that are not worth it you get used to it.

If they are being like that then don't threat too much about it.

Me and my family cut off one half of our family as they think of us as "poor" thus "not worth bothering with".

The ironic thing? They appear to have Autism but they don't! Like...show fake emotion of missing us and all that crap.

Despite having Aspergers, I felt like they weren't "right" emotionally...and it came off as fake. I had that with a neighbour once too.

I can totally relate, and I think it is not uncommon for us folks with AS. I was never much of a family guy, and I can't relate to almost everyone in my family because they represent values that I truly detest. The only two people I truly cherished where my grandparents. My grandpa was the sweetest man on earth (I don't know how he did it after all the f****d up s**t life put him through), he was so proud of having me and my brother as grandsons (he himself had three daughters, and he always wanted a son), and so was my granny. Other than that... I haven't talked to my father in about 8 years, and I have not intention to change that. The moment I move out from my mother, the same is gonna happen, and I swear it is the last time she'll ever hear from me. Most people don't understand that we can easily cut off emotional ties, since we are more or less self-sufficient and don't need or want other people around. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have a family that cares about you, and I do envy some of my friends sometimes for having a functional family life... but that is only rarely the case. Most of the time, it just feels good not to have to put up with people I truly don't like, and I feel no obligation to fake it just because it is family. To me, my family is my friends. It's even better than regular family, because I get to choose my friends.

don't cut off fully just distance yourself and keep diplomatic relationship
you won't have anyone around when you are in emergency or seriously ill
keep diplomacy with them.