Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

KenM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,491
Location: Mass. USA

29 Jun 2012, 11:46 am

In the 8 years since I got diagnosed with AS, I learned more social skills. Looking people in the eyes, how to make a little small talk, ect.. I found this makes people think I'm more normal then I am.

But no matter how much skills I learn, I still can't read what people really mean. I am always second guessing them. Are they smiling just to be friendly? Or are they flirtiing with me? Do they want to be friends or just making small talk to make small talk? I am tired of always trying to think about what people really mean. Very frustrating. I feel I will be this way all my life.

Anyone else feel this way?



nebrets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 842
Location: Texas

29 Jun 2012, 12:14 pm

I have similar problems. I had a conversation with my mom recently and I am still trying to figure out what she was really trying to say, or rather why she felt she had to get her point across in the way she did.


_________________
__ /(. . )


thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

29 Jun 2012, 1:42 pm

It's always hard; but try to think about how far you have come and how much you can do.



bettalove
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 118

29 Jun 2012, 7:14 pm

I agree. Social skills are learnable, but there is only so far it can go. Social skills for me are also incredibly draining.


_________________
Colorado Meetups http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/co_as_meetup/


minotaurheadcheese
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 412
Location: the lone lands

29 Jun 2012, 10:30 pm

Always. Mimicry isn't the same as having it come naturally. I can act my pants off in the right situations, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm dying inside and that I'm going to go home and get drunk because I feel like a disgusting fraud who could never be liked for who I really am. And yes, I constantly second-guess others, to the point I feel paranoid. I can't stand hearing people laugh because I can't stop thinking they're laughing at me.


_________________
"And there are days when I would be away . . . Oh, wherever men of my sort used to go, long ago. Wandering on paths that other men have not seen. Behind the sky. On the other side of the rain." -Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell


teamnoir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Menlo Park, CA 94025

01 Jul 2012, 4:47 pm

I've never felt this way, although I have, and still do periodically get annoyed with people's hypocrisy - saying one thing while meaning another.

The biggest thing that has helped me was studying NLP and hypnosis. You get a lot of models for learning to recognize body language and beginning to understand other people's motivations and their dynamics. Often, the other person doesn't even realize that they're not being sincere. But by learning to read both their conscious and unconscious expressions, you can begin to recognize or at least theorize what's going on for the whole person.