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Did you know that when you are invited to a party you are supposed to bring something even though the host says "no, you don't need to bring anything. Just bring yourself"
yes 21%  21%  [ 6 ]
no 45%  45%  [ 13 ]
I never get invited 21%  21%  [ 6 ]
who cares 14%  14%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 29

JanJan
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29 Jun 2012, 5:12 pm

I find a big stumbling block for me in meeting people is lack of knowledge of social conventions.
So, I would like to compile a list of social conventions that are not intuitively obvious.
I'd love to learn some others before I get into more trouble.

I'll start:
List of Social Conventions
1. If you are invited to a dinner at someone's house the conversation on the phone will sound like this:
My friend: "hi soandso, would you like to come over for dinner?"
Me: "sure, I'd love to. What can I bring?"
My friend: "oh nothing, just bring yourself."
And then I have to bring something anyway like a bottle of wine or a hostess gift.
Just because they say not to bring anything doesn't mean anything. You HAVE to bring something. I got in trouble on several occasions because I interpreted them literally and didn't bring anything.

2. If someone asks you "does this make me look fat?" the correct response in all cases is as follows:
"no, absolutely not". You have to respond quickly and with a stern voice.
Should one hesitate in the least, you'll get questioned as to why you hesitated.[u]



Stargazer43
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29 Jun 2012, 5:33 pm

I actually got in trouble once for bringing something to a party lol. I brought some chips and salsa, but the host had already made some guacamole, and they thought I was trying to compete with their guacamole by bringing the salsa. I guess they were kind of offended since they thought it was an insult to their cooking, but hey, they got over it lol.



JanJan
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29 Jun 2012, 5:53 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
I actually got in trouble once for bringing something to a party lol. I brought some chips and salsa, but the host had already made some guacamole, and they thought I was trying to compete with their guacamole by bringing the salsa. I guess they were kind of offended since they thought it was an insult to their cooking, but hey, they got over it lol.


So how are we supposed to play the game when we can't figure out the rules.



cathylynn
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29 Jun 2012, 7:23 pm

if someone asks "how are you?", the answer is always, "fine."



KenM
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29 Jun 2012, 7:37 pm

JanJan wrote:
1. If you are invited to a dinner at someone's house the conversation on the phone will sound like this:
My friend: "hi soandso, would you like to come over for dinner?"
Me: "sure, I'd love to. What can I bring?"
My friend: "oh nothing, just bring yourself."
And then I have to bring something anyway like a bottle of wine or a hostess gift.
Just because they say not to bring anything doesn't mean anything. You HAVE to bring something. I got in trouble on several occasions because I interpreted them literally and didn't bring anything.



Heaven forbid they tell the truth and tell you to bring something. Makes more sense to lie to the person saying they don't have to bring anything, then get offended when you don't because you are automatically supost to know they want you to bring something.

If I went someplace I was invited to and I did not bring anything because I asked and they said no, then the host gets offended I would ask him why he felt he needed to lie to me. If he wants me to bring something, then he needs to say so. People are not mind readers.



redrobin62
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29 Jun 2012, 8:06 pm

Kinda strange, this thread. Maybe it's just me, but as an aspie, a conversation would more likely go like this:

Them: Would you like to come over for dinner?
Me: Who's gonna be there?
Them: Just a few friends.
Me: Nah. I'm gonna be busy.

If there was only going to be one person I'd probably ask why. Why invite me to dinner? Do they want money? Is there a catch? Did I do something wrong and now I face punishment? Do they want me to fix something or teach them something technical? Why suddenly as me out of the blue? Who put them up to this?

<--- Has serious issues.



Last edited by redrobin62 on 30 Jun 2012, 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

metaldanielle
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30 Jun 2012, 12:05 am

This question is a bit confusing. What kind of party is it? Different occasions call for different "rules". If it is a gift-giving occasion, bring a gift, even if the invitation says gifts are not necessary. A card w/ cash inside usually won't offend even a person who literally didn't want gifts.

Some gift giving occasions are weddings, birthdays, graduations, Christmas, baby showers, wedding showers.

If it is just a dinner party gifts are not usually necessary. This may depend on the culture the person is from, it is not usually necessary in mine.



iggy64
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30 Jun 2012, 1:40 am

cathylynn wrote:
if someone asks "how are you?", the answer is always, "fine."


I found that you're actually suppost to say "fine thanks, you?" to someone who asks who you are. Otherwise they assume you're annoyed st them or something... :roll: Apparently, anyway.


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outofplace
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30 Jun 2012, 3:46 am

cathylynn wrote:
if someone asks "how are you?", the answer is always, "fine."


Darn, and I always answer with something like "adequate", "mediocre", or "not too bad".


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