Page 1 of 1 [ 15 posts ] 

zacb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,158

30 Jun 2012, 10:19 am

Why shouldn't I just conform to survival of the fittest and go from there? With few exceptions, probably at least 60-75 % of the people my age I run into are sh*theads. So why should I care about them?



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

30 Jun 2012, 12:01 pm

You don't need to care about them at all, but "survival of the fittest" is BS; actually Darwin wrote "survival of the most adaptable." Just saying, because it's a misinterpretation of Darwin as well as of the concept of evolution.



Merculangelo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Oklahoma City

30 Jun 2012, 12:03 pm

If you take the logic far enough you'll find that it actually makes logical sense, not just because of the rules that have been thrown up be society, but because that makes everything balance out and keep on going. It is at least a matter of pretending that you care about other people even if you don't, but I think that in order to pretend, you have to unconsciously not be pretending.
Survival involves sucking up to other people: giving them what they want. You'll probably observe that the guy that most people would call the fittest is one of the most sociable. He makes people want to do things for him by making them think he cares about them, and in a way he does care about them...because he cares about himself and there is the fact that he needs them in order to feed himself.
60-75% is a nice estimate. Most of my life, I'd have said its around 80-90%. In any case, find the minority and "collect" them. The people that are sh*theads are the people that can't function on an originally designed system. Work with the minority (which is the more intelligent and productive portion) to gain control of the system that dictates the behavior of those sh*theads...and change it, so that you change them. Teach them to need you.



NigNag
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 60

30 Jun 2012, 7:23 pm

zacb wrote:
Why shouldn't I just conform to survival of the fittest and go from there? With few exceptions, probably at least 60-75 % of the people my age I run into are sh*theads. So why should I care about them?


I ask myself that question every single day. In fact, maybe it is my depression, but in general I just don't want to deal with people in general. I find that dealing with my children is hard enough on most days.

Over the years I have watched complete asshats get ahead in life, while those who are honest, caring and kind get pushed down deeper and deeper. Life is just a huge social game, to which the rules do not apply. Im tired..... rant over ;)



lostgirl1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,418
Location: Ontario, Canada

30 Jun 2012, 10:19 pm

You should care about people because you'd want somebody to care about you in some way or another. You'd want to feel validated.



AScomposer13413
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,157
Location: Canada

01 Jul 2012, 10:30 am

lostgirl1986 wrote:
You should care about people because you'd want somebody to care about you in some way or another. You'd want to feel validated.


^ This!



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

01 Jul 2012, 2:08 pm

I like to care about the people who know me because if they respect you then you respect them. But why the hell am I putting myself out to compete with strangers and impress them for? If I want to make a trip up to the supermarket to get a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a bottle of coke, why should I have to rush around combing my hair, putting lipstick on, making sure there isn't one hair out of place on my parting, making sure my legs are all properly shaved (if it's summer), and so on? I mean, life will still go on whether I go out not looking my best or not.

Anyway I still get funny looks even if I do do it. So I might aswell just do it to make myself feel good and not to make other people feel good (unless they're handsome men).


_________________
Female


edgewaters
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,427
Location: Ontario

01 Jul 2012, 2:17 pm

NigNag wrote:
Over the years I have watched complete asshats get ahead in life, while those who are honest, caring and kind get pushed down deeper and deeper.


True, but I've also watched those same people end up very miserable because their entire life is a sham and not a person on earth really gives a damn about them.



noname_ever
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 500
Location: Indiana

01 Jul 2012, 3:08 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I like to care about the people who know me because if they respect you then you respect them. But why the hell am I putting myself out to compete with strangers and impress them for? If I want to make a trip up to the supermarket to get a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a bottle of coke, why should I have to rush around combing my hair, putting lipstick on, making sure there isn't one hair out of place on my parting, making sure my legs are all properly shaved (if it's summer), and so on? I mean, life will still go on whether I go out not looking my best or not.

Anyway I still get funny looks even if I do do it. So I might aswell just do it to make myself feel good and not to make other people feel good (unless they're handsome men).


You don't have to do that if you don't want to impress others. See http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/



teamnoir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Menlo Park, CA 94025

01 Jul 2012, 4:08 pm

lostgirl1986 wrote:
You should care about people because you'd want somebody to care about you in some way or another. You'd want to feel validated.


My experience is that this doesn't happen very often. When people attempt to "care" they far more often end up projecting crap onto me that is more abusive than validating.



teamnoir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Menlo Park, CA 94025

01 Jul 2012, 4:15 pm

zacb wrote:
Why shouldn't I just conform to survival of the fittest and go from there? With few exceptions, probably at least 60-75 % of the people my age I run into are sh*theads. So why should I care about them?


I often ask myself the same question. And I've come up with a few reasons.

1) I like sex. Sex with other people. (It's only a matter of time before I get kicked off this board since we can't really talk about anything substantial without violating the rules.) Finding sex partners requires some form of getting to know a least a few people. And it's kind of fun to care about people to whom I'm attracted.

2) politics. While I tend to be all about fairness, most of the world isn't necessarily. And even if they are, the definition of "fairness" is constantly under social negotiation. Different people think what constitutes "fair" is different. And the only way to get our own needs represented in those discussions is to speak up and to develop allies. Developing allies, even developing an audience who will listen when we speak requires some degree of being social and getting along with folks.

3) work. finding work and progressing tends to require some element of social skills. Even being self employed requires a certain amount of social interaction which generally requires at least going through the motions of caring.

FTR, it's not really age related. 90% of everyone are sh*theads.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

01 Jul 2012, 9:05 pm

No human is an island. What happens when you need someone you can't get?



Merculangelo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Oklahoma City

01 Jul 2012, 11:32 pm

Quote:
What happens when you need someone you can't get?


What do you mean by "get"? That implies ownership, and you can't own another person because you can't ever have real control/command, only strategic suggestion. You don't "get" people. You enter into agreements with them, employing them, because you need what they do, not what they are...unless its like when people love each other, but that's just life...weighing cost and gain (and whether you'd ever even have half a chance).



teamnoir
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2012
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Menlo Park, CA 94025

02 Jul 2012, 12:38 am

There are practical and convenience aspects to throwing in with other people too. But you're right that it's a trade-off.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

02 Jul 2012, 9:07 am

Merculangelo wrote:
Quote:
What happens when you need someone you can't get?


What do you mean by "get"? That implies ownership, and you can't own another person because you can't ever have real control/command, only strategic suggestion. You don't "get" people. You enter into agreements with them, employing them, because you need what they do, not what they are...unless its like when people love each other, but that's just life...weighing cost and gain (and whether you'd ever even have half a chance).


Ops that should read "Something" as in "What happens when you need something you can't get?"

Meaning that no man or woman is an island. You have to care about people since there is always a point where "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours"