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fefe333
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03 Jul 2012, 11:21 am

so, I told my mom about my synesthesia. (me and my mom don't have a good relationship) this is gonna be hard to explain so let me just start at the beginning:
so I leaned about my synesthesia like 2 months ago.all my numbers have a color, personality,gender,and texture. My letters have color. Days of the week and months have color. And I hear movement.and when I hear music I see movement.
last week, I went to a week long overnight camp. While I was gone at camp my mom took a class about how kids react to stress. So on the way home from camp (3 hour drive) she was telling me about it. So I was nervous because I knew it was the right time to tell her about my syn. So I told her and I was expecting at least a 5 min conversation, but she just said "oh. I don't do that" and she continued to talk at me about her class. Yesterday, I 'mapped' out all my numbers,letter,days and months (she doesn't know about me seeing or hearing movement) and I showed her and she didn't even care! I think she thinks that its just some weird faze or something.
but I can't read faces to save my life, so mabie she does care but she's just creeped out about it? Idk

but I want her to understand that this is why I get sensory overload so easily and that this is a part of my life and it has been since the day I was born. How do I explain to her that its not just a faze?


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I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


PastFixations
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03 Jul 2012, 11:42 am

Hmmm... maybe it's a good thing.
Look at Daniel Tammet, he views shapes rather than colours and he became famous...
Not saying you'll be famous but the way you view it is unique. =]
Sorry I didn't really reply to how to help you with the problem with your mother but I think that someone else can provide the answer for that.


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Moonpenny
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03 Jul 2012, 12:05 pm

Is it possible your Mum has AS too? I'm wondering because that's exactly the way my Mum reacts when I tell her something really significant. I've had to learn to understand that she almost certainly has AS as well, and that she reacts to important things as if I've just mentioned that it's raining because she doesn't know what else to do. She needs time to process, understand and come to terms with really major things, so I have to bring them up again a couple of weeks later. Sometimes she'll skip over them again, sometimes she'll respond in a more appropriate way – it just depends.

If it is possible your Mum has AS, remember that people on the spectrum aren't famed for making conversation at the best of times, and if they've been taken aback by something, they may be able to do little more at the time than say 'Oh'. It's very hard, but if I turned the tables and put myself in my Mum's place, I don't know how much better I'd do!

If your Mum doesn't have AS, I don't know why she reacted like that. It could be for similar reasons, it could be that she prefers to be the centre of attention herself, I don't know.

Maybe you could give it a couple of weeks to get her head round it and then mention it again. It probably feels unfair – and it probably IS unfair – but there might be genuine reasons for it. I hope she does respond to you in a more caring way eventually.



NigNag
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03 Jul 2012, 12:21 pm

I guess my question is... What exactly were you wanting to happen?
The timing may have been right for you, but it may not have been right for her.
She may have been in her zone, about the exciting time she just had and was not able to process something like that just being told to her.
What you may want to do, is approach her at a better time..

I envision something like this.. Mom, remember when I told you I have synesthesia. I was reading this really great article about it and thought I would share it with you since you said you don't do that.
It would really help me out if you read it so you can better understand why I get overloaded.

Give her time to process stuff. I know when my own kids drop bombs on me about things of this nature, sometimes I just don't know what to say about it.
As a parent having children on the spectrum or any kind of issue the information can just be overloading at times. We as parents can't fix everything, although we want to. We also can't process everything when our kids want us to. Sometimes we are just not ready to be open to everything.
Sometimes im just like.. Oh.. Ok. just accept it as a part of them and move on from it.



fefe333
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03 Jul 2012, 5:53 pm

Moonpenny wrote:
Is it possible your Mum has AS too? I'm wondering because that's exactly the way my Mum reacts when I tell her something really significant. I've had to learn to understand that she almost certainly has AS as well, and that she reacts to important things as if I've just mentioned that it's raining because she doesn't know what else to do. She needs time to process, understand and come to terms with really major things, so I have to bring them up again a couple of weeks later. Sometimes she'll skip over them again, sometimes she'll respond in a more appropriate way – it just depends.

If it is possible your Mum has AS, remember that people on the spectrum aren't famed for making conversation at the best of times, and if they've been taken aback by something, they may be able to do little more at the time than say 'Oh'. It's very hard, but if I turned the tables and put myself in my Mum's place, I don't know how much better I'd do!

If your Mum doesn't have AS, I don't know why she reacted like that. It could be for similar reasons, it could be that she prefers to be the centre of attention herself, I don't know.

Maybe you could give it a couple of weeks to get her head round it and then mention it again. It probably feels unfair – and it probably IS unfair – but there might be genuine reasons for it. I hope she does respond to you in a more caring way eventually.


I don't think its AS since she's very extroverted and socially 'acceptable' and 'popular'. But she chooses favorites with her 3 kids-and her fave is my little sister. Right after I told her she started talking about how her class relates to my little sister and blahblahblah.its just frustrating :x


_________________
--
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


fefe333
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 18 Apr 2012
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03 Jul 2012, 5:55 pm

NigNag wrote:
I guess my question is... What exactly were you wanting to happen?
The timing may have been right for you, but it may not have been right for her.
She may have been in her zone, about the exciting time she just had and was not able to process something like that just being told to her.
What you may want to do, is approach her at a better time..

I envision something like this.. Mom, remember when I told you I have synesthesia. I was reading this really great article about it and thought I would share it with you since you said you don't do that.
It would really help me out if you read it so you can better understand why I get overloaded.

Give her time to process stuff. I know when my own kids drop bombs on me about things of this nature, sometimes I just don't know what to say about it.
As a parent having children on the spectrum or any kind of issue the information can just be overloading at times. We as parents can't fix everything, although we want to. We also can't process everything when our kids want us to. Sometimes we are just not ready to be open to everything.
Sometimes im just like.. Oh.. Ok. just accept it as a part of them and move on from it.


I guess I just wanted her to act... Interested? Its like she doesn't even care. Idk, I was just kinda disappointed I guess...


_________________
--
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.