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kirayng
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08 Jul 2012, 4:16 pm

I think I really suck, but I'm not sure. No one has told me I suck, well, except one guy I work with in the morning, but I think he's kidding? Anyway, I haven't gotten a lot of feedback so it's weird. I'm used to micro managers that watch me all the time.

How do you find out if you suck without annoying people about it? Should I just pretend like I'm awesome like everyone else? It's so hard... I know that I'm good and there are some days where I'm really good...

but I struggle with never knowing people's thoughts/feelings/impressions of me....

Anyone else?



Lene
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08 Jul 2012, 4:54 pm

Turn up on time, be pleasant.. it's hard to say exactly what to do as I'm not sure what field you work in, but if you're hard working and do what you say you'll do (and say no if you know you won't be able to), then you can't go too far wrong.



Bunnynose
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08 Jul 2012, 5:17 pm

Any chance you're worrying needlessly?



kirayng
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08 Jul 2012, 5:47 pm

Bunnynose wrote:
Any chance you're worrying needlessly?


certainly a possibility; and I'm a line cook.



Bunnynose
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08 Jul 2012, 6:36 pm

Is the person you work with in the a.m. who sorta complained the head chef or sous chef?



kirayng
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08 Jul 2012, 7:26 pm

Bunnynose wrote:
Is the person you work with in the a.m. who sorta complained the head chef or sous chef?


Nope. Just someone I work with who is also an Aspie.



Zinia
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08 Jul 2012, 7:39 pm

This is what I do:

I ask my supervisor to please let me know if they have any feedback for me, so that I can do a better job. I also ask them about specific instances in which I wasn't sure if I was doing good--and tell them I appreciate their feedback.

I was super worried I suck at my job (and I probably do a little), but my supervisor has consistently given me positive feedback, which makes me feel better at my job. I have the nicest supervisor in the world though.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Jul 2012, 7:54 pm

Not every supervisor is that nice.

To some, asking them about a previous incident so you can improve is causing them a hassle. They are literally that disengaged from the job. They are emphatically not like baseball managers wanting to work with their players and help them improve.

These managers are interested in the here and now (briefly) and that's something you can work with.



Zinia
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08 Jul 2012, 8:01 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
Not every supervisor is that nice.

To some, asking them about a previous incident so you can improve is causing them a hassle. They are literally that disengaged from the job. They are emphatically not like baseball managers wanting to work with their players and help them improve.

These managers are interested in the here and now (briefly) and that's something you can work with.


That's a good point. Some people probably don't like the job they're in, or maybe they don't want to be supervisors. I had a horrible supervisor once, when I was working in a fast food deli. She hated my guts for no reason.

My current supervisor is like a godsend.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Jul 2012, 8:08 pm

I'm looking for a job now. I will graciously accept a good boss, but really, at this point, I'll be happy just with average.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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08 Jul 2012, 8:15 pm

kirayng, I've worked at both a photocopy center and also as a waiter. I'm assuming being a line cook involves staying organized, flow of work---and this is key and something I personally struggle with---not being a perfectionist about it, and that's kind of the zen of it all! :D

Maybe look at it like you're a baseball player or poker player, yes, you're good at the game, but there's still a lot to learn, something like that?



thewhitrbbit
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08 Jul 2012, 9:44 pm

Is your boss complaining?

If your boss isn't complaining your at least doing a satisfactory job.



kirayng
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09 Jul 2012, 2:31 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
Not every supervisor is that nice.

To some, asking them about a previous incident so you can improve is causing them a hassle. They are literally that disengaged from the job. They are emphatically not like baseball managers wanting to work with their players and help them improve.

These managers are interested in the here and now (briefly) and that's something you can work with.


Can you elaborate on that last part? I too have found it hard to get feedback, mentoring subordinates is just not in the job description of a busy executive chef.

It seems like I never have time or the right words to explain things.



TalksToCats
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09 Jul 2012, 4:19 pm

kirayng wrote:
I think I really suck, but I'm not sure....

I know that I'm good and there are some days where I'm really good...


I hope you don't mind me editing down your original post so much. I was really struck how you said that you both suck, and are good and really good.

I know in most of the jobs I have worked in I have felt both the above, and worried that I was getting no feedback. My general experience is if you're not getting feedback you haven't done anything wrong, but often you won't get any feedback about what you're doing right either.

For me I think I was generally good and occasionally sucked, but no more than anyone else did - as far as quality of work was concerned. But I probably thought (and still often do think) I suck far more often than I actually do good. I'm absolutely sure I am my own worst critic, and often unreasonably harsh on myself.

Might you be doing the same and tending to focus far more on the little things you do wrong occasionally, rather than the majority of occasions when you do really well?

As far as getting formal feedback I've only managed to get this this when I've worked in local government or large charities where there were formal appraisal systems, so there was a formal HR led system for assessing progress. It actually worked really well - but I'm not sure the average busy executive chef would go in for this...they might not be too keen on some kind of time consuming appraisal / review system, and I'm not sure how you could encourage one, unless you could somehow sell it that it might improve everyone's efficiency.

[Now as part of my PhD I get formal feedback from supervisors cos they are paid to do that - it's part of their job description (but I generally have to hassle them for it and it can take a while to hear anything back - but they don't mind as they are supposed to do this)]

I don't imagine that formal feedback is in a busy executive chefs job description somehow though...so not quite sure how you could ask for this, unless you can somehow suggest it's in their best interest too - e.g. 'if you can take some time to tell me what I'm doing well and what I'm doing not so well, I can then improve and be a better line cook, this means I do my job better for you - we both gain..'

Not sure if this approach would work...but it might.



Bunnynose
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09 Jul 2012, 5:03 pm

kirayng wrote:
... It seems like I never have time or the right words to explain things.


Have you thought about writing down or typing out what you'd like to say?

Doing so would help to organize and to figure out how to articulate your thoughts. Then you can break the ideas down to major headings, like poor communication due to lack of supervision or feedback and unhelpful co-workers. Once you know what you want to talk about, you can come up with one or two questions that support your concerns. And before talking with your supervisor, you can rehearse how you would like the conversation to go as well as how it might go if your supervisor turns out not to care.

A lot of work! You betcha. And the kind of work Aspies don't want to do. But to show your boss why he should value and appreciate you, show him why you value and appreciate the job and him. All this boils down to respectful, thoughtful and prudent communication that excludes the possibility of you reacting negatively with emotion.



Zinia
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09 Jul 2012, 5:17 pm

Recently, something happened at my work--a problem.

So, I typed my supervisor an e-mail saying something like, "blahblahblah happened. I want you to know that I am more than willing to talk about anything like this, if you are ever concerned about it."

Or, I usually ask for feedback by saying, "I would love to know if you have any suggestions or concerns. Thanks."

He always replies back, "you did great! Please don't worry about blahblahblah--you did everything you were supposed to. etc." But I just try to keep the e-mails really short...so I edit a lot. Like--describing the problem took one or two sentences.

But I would find it difficult to ask for feedback properly if I was to have to talk to him face to face, and it doesn't seem like e-mail would be the most common form of communication at a restaurant job...so I can see how that's harder.

I think that if you aren't getting criticized, then you're probably doing a good job. It's normal for people who care about their performance to doubt themselves.