Adult Aspies...when did you first feel like an adult?

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muslimmetalhead
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09 Jul 2012, 11:03 am

Now I'm not saying "socially mature", but like a self-sufficient,responsible non-child.

Most NT's get it around 14-15, from what I've noticed.

I've had "moments" since about 3-4 months ago, but I'm still developing it and probably will to much later than NT's.


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Blownmind
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09 Jul 2012, 11:10 am

I still don't to be honest..I think. How do you define "Adult"?


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muslimmetalhead
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09 Jul 2012, 11:16 am

Blownmind wrote:
I still don't to be honest..I think. How do you define "Adult"?


One who does not have the mannerisms of a child and knows exactly what they're doing and awareness of society and themselves... Aspies obviously have less social skills than the Average Joe and develop later in their youth, but eventually become adults.


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09 Jul 2012, 11:41 am

I'm 31 and still don't. I probably fool many/most outside observers, but I feel like a child, most of the time.

To be honest (and give myself credit, I suppose), I have matured some: enough to hold down a job, pay bills and a mortgage, stay out of trouble, etc.

I haven't needed my parents to bail me out, literally or figuratively, in some time.

But, I still feel like I'm trying to figure out things that "everyone else" did when they were a teenager/young adult.

I suppose I am as mature as my dad........ who also has (undiagnosed) AS, acts like damned kid, treats his wife/my mother as his own surrogate mom--as opposed to a partner (something I'm starting to acknowledge in my wife and I's relationship more and more, too), and so forth.

Good topic. Thanks.



redrobin62
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09 Jul 2012, 12:32 pm

Shoot! I'll be 50 tomorrow and I still feel like a kid.



aspi-rant
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09 Jul 2012, 12:54 pm

i never became an adult. and probably never will.

i have absolutely nothing in common whit ppl my real age. :?



WhiteWidow
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09 Jul 2012, 1:15 pm

Once I started living on my own. I have to clean, groom everything including my cat. I have to make financial mistakes, lose and gain jobs - apply for lots of things, fill out a plethora of paper work all by myself. I have to deal with individuals in authoritative positions - by myself. Once I have to do things, by myself, I feel adult. Once I realized I had a responsibility to myself and the rest of society, I became an adult. Once I realized I can't always wake up to the podcast I love so much every morning, and I have to get up for work and put on a uniform - I became an adult.



Blownmind
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09 Jul 2012, 1:52 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
Blownmind wrote:
How do you define "Adult"?
One who does not have the mannerisms of a child and knows exactly what they're doing and awareness of society and themselves... Aspies obviously have less social skills than the Average Joe and develop later in their youth, but eventually become adults.

  • One who does not have the mannerisms of a child -Failed in that one
  • knows exactly what they're doing -Failed on this aswell
  • awareness of society and themselves -Ahh, I fit this one actually

But all in all, I am not an adult according to that definition.


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redrobin62
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09 Jul 2012, 3:11 pm

Now that I think about it, having jobs sure didn't make me feel grown up. In fact, everyday I was at work I felt I was trespassing.



Akito
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09 Jul 2012, 3:51 pm

I'm 23 and I don't feel like an adult, although I'm a responsible person and have lots of responsibilities. People say that I still have a lot of child-like traits, however.



deltafunction
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09 Jul 2012, 3:53 pm

Oh, not maturity level? Okay, that changes my answer.

I started to feel like an adult when I lived on my own for university. It took me a couple of years to adjust, and I still am like a kid with my own procrastination on chores and things like that. But I've come a long way.

Also, I always wanted to be an independent woman, and my parents were willing to help me only in emergencies. So I guess I was itching for self-sufficiency, and wasn't too far away already.

Are your parents very protective of you, muslimmetalhead, or do they keep a distance? In some ways I wish I had parents who would be overly concerned for my well-being.



muslimmetalhead
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09 Jul 2012, 5:24 pm

deltafunction wrote:
Oh, not maturity level? Okay, that changes my answer.

I started to feel like an adult when I lived on my own for university. It took me a couple of years to adjust, and I still am like a kid with my own procrastination on chores and things like that. But I've come a long way.

Also, I always wanted to be an independent woman, and my parents were willing to help me only in emergencies. So I guess I was itching for self-sufficiency, and wasn't too far away already.

Are your parents very protective of you, muslimmetalhead, or do they keep a distance? In some ways I wish I had parents who would be overly concerned for my well-being.



Well, you meet those qualifications as you mature, again, mid-teens/high school age usually for NT's.

Anyways, due to me being "special", my parents have to treat me like a pubescent middle schooler rather than a 16 year old strapping young man lol.

But they do seem to expect me to act like an adult, and they are annoyed with treating me as they do.


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lostgirl1986
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09 Jul 2012, 6:10 pm

I guess I had times where I felt like that in college. "Moments" you could say more or less. When I moved out of the province away from my family, that's when I felt the most mature and self sufficient.



aspiemike
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09 Jul 2012, 8:38 pm

I feel I have been mature enough to hold down a job for close to two years now. I feel like an adult because I have to pay a lot of bills such as car insurance, cellphone, TV, internet, utilities and rent. I pay for this with the money I earn and without begging and borrowing. I of course share a house with 3 other roommates. Honestly, I prefer my independence from my family over being dependent.



indyadam
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10 Jul 2012, 2:19 am

I'd say about 21, I figured out about then why your allowed to start drinking legally then, My HS relationship came to an end, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, died a few months later, and my closest friends at the time abandoned me, then a repressed memory of a sexual assault came up and i had to get counseling for that. That left me picking up the pieces to a broken existence. I am still working on it, but i guess to get back to what you asked... I think you REALLY become and adult, when you realize life sucks and you cant just stop because its not easy anymore. I think adulthood is standing up and pushing through life even when all you want to do is sit down and scream out "FOUL!! !"