Can you understand that some people dont care?

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Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 20 Nov 2011
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11 Jul 2012, 3:41 pm

Can you understand/believe that some people don't care, or perhaps even get some sort of pleasure out of the misfortune of others?

I don't know if this is anything to do with Aspergers Syndrome, or a part of the Autism spectrum, perhaps some people can say whether it is or not. But I thought it's a suitable topic to discuss here anyway.

Not everyone is a persons friend, not everyone likes a person - sometimes people can take a serious dislike to someone for various reasons, sometimes over nothing really. But if someone was going through a difficult time and something really good happened to the person, surely even that persons 'enemies' would be happy for them at least to some extent?

This is something I am having trouble understanding. I would have thought, even if you don't particularly get on with a person, you would still be happy to see something improve for them? Not take enjoyment out of any negative aspects.

Do you have any trouble with this type of thing?


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Joined: 4 Feb 2010
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11 Jul 2012, 4:05 pm

I tend to be happy or glad for my enemies if they are getting the help they need finally because I am hoping they will be good people after they get treatment and not be a bad person anymore. Even if it's someone I don't like because they are bad due to being so messed up, I am still glad if they are getting help. What I don't understand is when a bad person is getting help and treatment, people still are not willing to forgive them and give them another chance when they are cured or treated and good people now or can't even be happy they are getting help. I can understand if they are skeptical about it. I also don't understand why people would still have feelings for someone who is bad and it's a scary thing for me. If it's their own family, I can understand.

I also don't understand why people feel bad for their actions they did to their bully or to someone who had insulted them. If they deserved it, why feel bad?

I am not even sure if I understood your question.

Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


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Joined: 12 Nov 2011
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11 Jul 2012, 4:09 pm

I can't tell when people care, is that in line with your questioning? Also I can't fathom people mistreating others for the sole reason of their own selfishness but that's probably just me.

Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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11 Jul 2012, 4:28 pm

MrJosh wrote:
... get some sort of pleasure out of the misfortune of others ....

"Schadenfreude," karma," "payback" -- call it what you will.

The feeling/thinking is a universal human trait of momentary superiority expressed as pleasure over the misfortune or predicament of someone envied and/or disliked.


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Joined: 3 Oct 2011
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11 Jul 2012, 4:30 pm

I usually can not understand that people actually care.

As a vegetarian I can not understand how meat-eaters care so much about dogs being put down or various other animals being hit by cars etc. How can you eat meat and be troubled by animals that get a quick death?

It is the same thing when people are horrified about certain incidents close to where they live. Since I am a Norwegian you might guess what I am referring too. Thousands of people are killed all over the world everyday. I can not understand how most people could not care less about the big numbers, but suddenly think it is a tragedy just because it happens on a geographical location close to them. It can't really be compassion then, can it? Sounds more like selfish concern over ones own safety.

A lot of the time it does not make sense to care.