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SanityTheorist
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13 Jul 2012, 12:43 pm

Most people seek to share their enjoyment with others...I understand why they do it but I can't relate at all. My enjoyment is purely internal and I don't need outside confirmation to know my form of pleasure is "right."

Or am I completely misreading it and it is a way of bonding with others? I share thoughts and interests but never my personal life unless prompted because my life is as boring as anyone else's.


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thewhitrbbit
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13 Jul 2012, 1:45 pm

It's a way of bonding. Friends share excitement and troubles.

There not looking for confirmation; most of the things they share are commonly accepted as "right." (I.e., Job promotion, marriage, engagement, new house, new car, etc)



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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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13 Jul 2012, 3:42 pm

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Most people seek to share their enjoyment with others...I understand why they do it but I can't relate at all.

I don't understand why. Could you please tell me? If you cannot relate to it, are you sure you understand it?

I think this whole "sharing experiences" is purely biochemical. Pleasant activities just seem to release a greater amount of dopamine when you are doing them with other people. Humans are social creatures by nature and that is why their brains are programmed that way.

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I share thoughts and interests but never my personal life unless prompted because my life is as boring as anyone else's.

Not sharing interest and feelings in a spontaneous way is a classic diagnostic symptom for autism. But I don't understand why it's so natural for neurotypicals to share those things. Does that simply mean my brain is damaged because of those genes that causes autism?



SanityTheorist
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13 Jul 2012, 3:54 pm

Bio_Info_Seeker, I learned in psychology people love learning about one another and they love talking about themselves even more. Talking about myself is just boring to me though. It is more than a dopamine biochemical reaction, it is a way of forming close bonds through sharing secrets. I think knowing about another person's interests does the same on a higher level but I have frequently been told I'm wrong.

Nah, sharing random experiences is pointless 90% of the time (sometimes it is helpful when giving advice.) I don't think we are defective in that sense at all, it is just more interesting for us to pursue our passions.

I hate when I have to politely do small talk about something I don't care at all about too, another classic diagnostic sign for autism haha.

Introversion is as good as extroversion; we need both.


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starryeyedvoyager
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13 Jul 2012, 4:13 pm

While I am perfectly able to share my joy sometimes, I rarely do it. I like keeping joy to myself, and I think I understood why that is: It is mine, and I don't like to share it. I am usually all about sharing material wealth, but when it comes to personal things... they are mine. I am not good at expressing myself, or even judging my emotions correctly. Alas, if something evokes a strong feeling, I want it all for myself and no one to take part in it, because... well, it is all mine, mine mine mine mine mine... I don't really know how else to describe it.
People keep telling me that I have a really hearty laugh, but also note that when I laugh about something, it goes like this: Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Funeral expression. I switch from all out laughing to absolutely no expression at all within seconds, and some people told me that they found that really awkward and to some degree scary. There you go, that's why I don't like sharing joy or other emotions as well.



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13 Jul 2012, 4:34 pm

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It is more than a dopamine biochemical reaction, it is a way of forming close bonds through sharing secrets.

Yes, that is true. There are many other biochemicals involved. Oxytocin and serotonin may be more important for bonding.

Quote:
Nah, sharing random experiences is pointless 90% of the time (sometimes it is helpful when giving advice.)

No, it's not pointless. From a rational point of view perhaps yes, it may be pointless but don't underestimate the biochemistry. There are two ways to understand the human psyche: psychological and biochemical. These two schools may always clash until a field theory is created. But that is not the topic here so I won't go further.



SanityTheorist
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13 Jul 2012, 7:33 pm

starryeyedvoyager wrote:
While I am perfectly able to share my joy sometimes, I rarely do it. I like keeping joy to myself, and I think I understood why that is: It is mine, and I don't like to share it. I am usually all about sharing material wealth, but when it comes to personal things... they are mine. I am not good at expressing myself, or even judging my emotions correctly. Alas, if something evokes a strong feeling, I want it all for myself and no one to take part in it, because... well, it is all mine, mine mine mine mine mine... I don't really know how else to describe it.
People keep telling me that I have a really hearty laugh, but also note that when I laugh about something, it goes like this: Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Funeral expression. I switch from all out laughing to absolutely no expression at all within seconds, and some people told me that they found that really awkward and to some degree scary. There you go, that's why I don't like sharing joy or other emotions as well.


I too have the issues with identifying emotions and facial expressions, hence why I keep to myself the majority of the time.

When I do share it tends to be jokes or new bands/artworks. You guys?


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