Has anyone here recieved negative dating rejections?

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MXH
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18 Jul 2012, 9:39 pm

mds_02 wrote:
DialAForAwesome wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Instead of taking rejection personally, it's better to move on, persist and go on to the next one. If you approach twenty girls and have success with one, you have still succeeded.


What about guys like me who don't even have success with one? :lol:


Replace twenty with a thousand, or ten thousand, or ten million, it still applies. Point is, if it's something you want, keep trying. You've only failed when you give up.

Edit: what I mean to say is, I have what a lot of guys here seem to want. And the the thing that helped me most in getting it was learning how to not take rejection personally. Learning how to tend to my bruised ego, say to myself "her loss," and move on to the next one. And, from what I've read in this section, those guys who do have some success with women all seem to say pretty much the same thing.


What i believe is that you're able to just shrug it off because you have had success at one point or another. For someone thats spent 6 years trying and only gotten rejections it gets to a point where they realize that maaybe they really are that worthless.

For me ive never been told why im rejected. Never ever. Simply either a polite no, a harsh no, or just laughter. And here i thought making them laugh was a good sign :?



ValentineWiggin
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18 Jul 2012, 10:07 pm

I've been rejected for being too:
fat
political
"intense"
"childish"

And not _________ enough:
sexual
"feminine"
social
functional

As well as random things, IE a first date at a coffee shop where I couldn't pay attention because some moron hipster two tables over kept BANGING on the table.


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infilove
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20 Aug 2012, 2:09 am

MXH wrote:
you're saying theres such a thing as a rejection that isnt negative? Well, my best had to be a girl approaching me (the only time ever) and then rejecting me for no real reason. Im still waiting to understand that one.


i can think of three possible reasons

first; sometimes when women will like a guy they will actually "reject" a guy they approach to see if they will chase them back to see if the guy they like likes them too. it's a girls way to test a guy to see how much they really like them.

second; women like to know how attractive they are and will go to great measure to see including actually walking up to other men they like or even don't like acting like they like them to see if they give a positive reaction back.

third; the girl that walked up to you may have though you were attractive but probably saw something about you that turned her off i.e. you may have showed signs of nervousness (insecurity is a turn off), maybe wore something she didn't like, or possibly said something that messed it up even body language.


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20 Aug 2012, 3:54 am

No, when this has occurred to me, women just stopped answering their phone. The end.

You think that would be nice, but it was actually terrible, since you'd be left in a black hole of not knowing what you did wrong, but most importantly, nothing to be able to improve on. So, don't think it's so bad knowing what's off. I'd rather take the bitter pill than learn nothing, bound to repeat my same mistakes again.

This is a huge example of why it's utterly fundamental (for both men and women) to read books on body language (which what most neurotypical people naturally 'get', anyway). We (as in, everyone here) are all driving with blinders on if we don't do it. It's the only real feedback you can get in the dating process on how good you're doing, how much the other person is into you, etc.

I serious urge everyone to start reading up every book they can on it and start training their eyes to 'get' it. You'll never get to the point of being deeply "hurt" again, as part of the initial dating process (of course, anything can end up bad) since you'll know what's up 30 seconds into talking to someone. It's this blindness which is why there's so much pain, right here in this forum.



Uri
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21 Aug 2012, 1:09 pm

Yes, all the time I think. Every time I see a woman that I find even slightly attractive, she is never available.

So I never ever get to the "dating" stage.