girls with Aspergers, more mild symptoms? better over time?

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I'm curious if its the experience of those here that girls with Aspergers tend to have more mild symptoms than boys? I read online that this is true, but I wanted to know the experience of those on here.

Also, is it true that symptoms can become more mild over time so that an Aspergers child might not qualify as an Aspergers adult?

I don't believe the first statement is always true, in fact girls diagnosed with Autism tend to be more severe than boys. However, that does not mean autism is more severe in girls, it just means that the girls with severe autism get diagnosed.

As for the second part, the diagnosis criteria requires significant impairment. If there is no longer such impairment the diagnosis no longer applies.

No.

I would compare the aspergers girl to the typical girl and the aspergers boy to the typical boy. It might be the case that a girl with aspergers has milder symptoms than a boy with aspergers, but compared to their gender groups, we may find that things are the opposite and that girls with aspergers have more severe symptoms than boys because in comparison to the group that they have to try to fit into, it might be more difficult for the girl than it is for the boy, because girls are all about exactly the social things you get an aspergers diagnosis for having trouble with.

Well, I can only speak for myself, but in my case I think that the reason I'm sometimes considered more "mildly" autistic than aspie guys is because in the western society, girls are (still) taught to be more passive than boys and social skills are more important for girls. So where an aspie boy might have shown his "weirdness" I, at a younger age, kept to myself and was a passive, good, girl. But that got me into loads of mental health issues.

Hmm, I'm not sure. Not in my case, I don't think. But this is my experience and I get the impression that I'm not that mild, socially.

I have a real life male Aspie friend and we both agree that he is milder than I am, socially speaking. Whenever we meet, he is always the one who handles the social situations (but he does have his fair share of social difficulties too). However he has many more problems than me including depression, and more emotional-related issues than me.

I have found that SOME of my symptoms have got milder as I got older, such as food issues. But socially? Not at all, although I am still only 21.

I actually find life getting more and more difficult as time goes on. When I was a child people excused me for the odd ways in which I acted, but now I'm expected to act like a "normal" adult. I tried to act NT when I started university. This was way too much for me to handle and I became overwhelmed by exhaustion after only about 2 months, which caused me to shut myself in my room for the rest of the year and miss lectures and labs. One of the worst mistakes I ever made.

Okay, thanks. I'm just curious because I know one 60 yr old guy I work with definitely has Aspergers, eats the same thing everyday, has lots of knowledge on very specific topics, has issues with staring and social cues, etc. These are things that I've picked up on, and I know I'm not as bad as him. However, my limited knowledge of social cues has mostly been the result of a lifetime of trying to mimic others and impressing on my mind 'this face means bored', etc.

Girls with Autism actually have to be more severe and blatant to even get diagnosed.

As we age, our coping and acting skills do improve, sometimes to the point of being able to pass for short periods of time, but that is a demonstration of our ability to cognitively learn what comes naturally for NTs. It's still not as fast or automatic -- like running something in the software layer, instead of hardware -- and is much more exhausting than for NT's. Also the need for solitary time to recharge remains -- NT's recharge by being social. Sensory issue may actually get worse with age.

It depends on the person, really. I certainly got better over time but only because I kind of understand myself better and how I can deal with my Asperger's. Other people may understand just as much or more than I do but struggle a lot more. But ultimately we all do get better.

I would not say our symptoms are milder. Rather I would say that we are taught to keep them quieter. I know my symptoms are just as bad as any male's but I spent my entire life working to hide them and just pretend I was fine. I was never "fine" and I won't ever be. I just stopped being quiet.

Do most people really think that guys don't try at all to hide things or fake normal and complain and act out constantly?

I was taught and learned to STFU at a young age and that no one gave a sh** so there was no point to bother to complain. And then there was 'faking it' which lead to burnout. WTF?

I think that sometimes girls can have it more severely but can still get perceived as a lot milder than boys with AS/autism of a similar level of severity.

In my elementary school class, there was a boy who back then was already diagnosed with a mysterious disorder. It might have been AS for all I know but I am certain that today, he would be diagnosed with a "textbook" case of AS.

Whereas upon being asked a question, he often stood up abruptly from his chair, stared at the ceiling, answered the question in a strange tone of voice and then out of nowhere started to lecture about the world wars at age 6, I (at that same age) often failed to respond at all and when I did respond, I looked around (also avoiding to look at people), started to hum or twirled my fingers, usually gave a short and to-the-point answer of one or a few words and then would respond no more. I don't know how to determine which one of us was more severe all those years ago because we presented quite differently in outward behaviours and also in skills (academic, language/speech and self-help skills).

A lot of people who don't know my normal everyday life misjudge me as extremely hf/very mild AS (and even assume that I must be opposed to being called disabled because surely, I can do almost everything) because unlike some others (mostly males) with AS, I do not go into monologues and ramble on at people (as opposed to talking to people) but I struggle to talk (to varying extends) and I hardly manage to initiate spontaneous forms of conversations by myself. Both can result in serious impairments which is why I think that automatically assuming that one is milder than the other is plain stupid.

I feel that I've gotten worse over time. As a child, I could get through school unnoticed by getting good grades and keeping quiet. As I got older, I realised that despite all my efforts, I was significantly different from those around me. As an adult, independence places more demands on my executive functioning. Also, behaviour that was once brushed aside when I was a child will now significantly affect my job in the present. And as I am trying to get myself established, my inability to network is placing a higher demand on my interviewing and job-securing abilities, which are weak. I also am way more aware of my differences now than I was ever before, which makes me more self-conscious.

Yes, males could also have these problems. But to answer your question, I've went from being labeled as "gifted" and "quiet" in childhood to a rebel in adolescence, and now socially awkward or anxious in adulthood.

Also, to answer your second question, autism is a different way of thinking. You may get better at hiding your symptoms to appear more NT, and then you would not qualify for an official diagnosis based on your symptoms, but you are still autistic for life. It's in your genes. Diagnosis based on symptoms is an imperfect tool for looking inside your brain, trying to figure out what is going on. If we could go to the doctors and take a blood test for autism, then things would be more clear-cut, but there is no such test at the moment.

Throughout school I thought I was just socially awkward and shy. Though my mother told me recently that in kindergarten my teacher said I needed to see a psychologist, because I would always sit alone and read and not play with other kids, but because I was so smart for my age my parents never considered that 'bad' and didn't do anything about it. I only ever had 4 friends over my entire elementary and junior high school years; as I got older I could not longer really interact with people and just became more reclusive.

Because my parents are also very independent and not much for 'following the crowds' and like living quietly themselves they never criticized me for being such a loner. In their way they were being supportive of me. But once I got out of school and into the 'real world' it brought into start contrast that there was something really 'off' about me. It wasn't until then that I started considering I might have some kind of autism issue. My dad also has had issues similar to mine, so I wonder if he may have it too.

I think it's that I'm more aware now of my issues, rather than I'm getting worse. Once you're an adult the things that make it hard to function in society seem to get much more obvious.

This is what I think.

I agree with these answers.

It is easier to get by in school by just keeping quiet and getting good enough grades. You could more easily "disappear" at that age. Sure, there were still problems, but it was easier.

As you get older, I agree it gets harder. Executive functions are required a lot more heavily - paying bills, organising a house, chores, work, etc, it is just crazy.

Second, if you get into a relationship, you are then expected to be a "perfect socially functioning" person amongst their family and friends. Where once you could just be quiet and disappear while younger, when you are someone's partner you are "meant" to be perfectly social. Chatting with other people's wives, knowing what to do socially with bringing food, etc, social expectations with talking, knowing how to talk to their nieces and nephews, etc, argh! It becomes VERY obvious you are not like everyone else....

And then, if you become a Mother, phew! I feel like such a failure as a Mum, because I know that part of it is that you are meant to network with other Mums from school and other places in order to learn tips and help with your child's friendships, etc. For me, I never talk to the other Mums, I just don't get them and they don't get me, plus I am so exhausted from the rest of my Life that I have no energy to engage in the draining social chit chat and then all the "let's catch up for coffees", etc.

And then, you are both Mum and partner around the house, and that is hard!! We need so much alone time, and I have numerous meltdowns due to a lack of this, which is NOT good in front of your child and partner On top of trying to run a house, work, study, look good (for my job, which is highly social too from which I fail miserably at, and yes need a new one but opportunity hasn't come up yet).

There are a LOT of expectations on the modern woman, and if you are also an aspie woman, it is near impossible

I wonder if this is why female aspies generally don't tend to get diagnosed til they are older - they can't hide anymore!! lol