How do you Avoid Getting Abused on Sports Teams ?
Most people with Asperger's have motor functioning problems and are generally awkward and may even have an odd gait or posture and a weird way of walking or running. In my personal experience this has led to being insulted verbally.
But because I am highly determined, I was able to self train myself a bit and now I can play team sports like soccer with better control. I would really like to play for my university but I am afraid of being abused by teammates who may see me as odd.
What Strategies can I use?
Is it better to be quiet and not say anything at all ?
Is it better to inform the coach (not as an excuse but just to make sure he will not ask any other of those "questions" we all get) ?
It's my general experience that people will not care about how odd you are if you display an appreciable level of skill in whatever sport you are playing. That's one way, at least, to avoid your troubles, if not an easy one. Sports is fraught full of people who had weird, quirky habits, good luck rituals, etc.
I was mercilessly bullied at school and even though I was an above average athlete, ALWAYS got picked last in team sports at school. To make things worse, at times I was the kid where EVERYONE cheered when he failed. Imagine watching MLB and both teams celebrating together an out at home to end the game. That's what I had to put up with! Even though I loved sports, I hated being on a team.
Having said that, the one place I was never bullied (except by parents in my early years) was in organized (away from school) baseball. I wasn't a superstar but my teammates treated me fairly. The other teams not so much but I was never treated like an outcast. People who are emotional and have odd habits are welcomed in most sports as they add personality to sports that are otherwise filled with cookie cutter athletes. In my current favorite position (hockey goalie) it's almost considered weird if you DON'T have a quirk of some kind. No wonder I fit in so well!
I'm not well liked on my current Softball team but that seems to be the exception, not the rule in adult sports.
I used to play soccer, but injuries and depression forced me to stop at an early age. It's about the only thing I've ever been quite good at actually. Never been the popular kid, always came across as the odd and shy guy, but never bullied physically in my childhood.
But to the point, I have a special (read: weird) way of running, but I can't recall anyone mocking me for it. I guess that's because I was one of the fastest on my team despite that. So I think what Shau pointed out is definitely correct, as soccer is a team sport, bullying each other won't better the morale in the group, and morale is one of the most crucial things in team sports, at least in my opinion.
I never really had a problem with sports. I was never very good at baseball since I was lousy at hitting/throwing the ball but
I loved the more aggressive sports like hockey and football. I was awesome at defense blocking shots and protecting
my team mates so they could score. When I did play offense I didn't score alot of points but I kept the other teams defense so busy they left the goal wide open for an easy win.
It is the only time I remember that being really aggressive got my awards and not in trouble!
MakaylaTheAspie
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I wanted to kill them and you know what?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I still do.
Not to drag this off topic but I can almost say the same. That's probably why half my posts here reference this: try as I might I cannot shake the overwhelming desire for revenge. Theraphy was useless because almost nobody can relate to my experiences. If you haven't been REALLY targeted like me, you have no idea how bad it was. The beatings were actually the mild part: being constantly emotionally tormented where you lose the will to live completely was horrible beyond words. I'm not a violent person but if I ever saw the 'ringleaders' dying on the street I would refuse to help them or get help and would be very pleased to see them suffer. Go ahead and call me just as bad as they are, but how would YOU feel if someone was physically abusing your child and instead of arresting the perpetrator the police just told you quit whining and warned you that you'd be given a long prison sentence if you said "boo" to the abuser. Would you just say "oh well?" That's pretty much what I had to put up with.
Back on topic, bullies on sports team and rare because a)they want to be there and b)they understand what teamwork is. Best thing to do is to stand your ground but NOT to throw a violent tantrum. Just be assertive and you should generally be fine in my experiences.
I loved the more aggressive sports like hockey and football. I was awesome at defense blocking shots and protecting
my team mates so they could score. When I did play offense I didn't score alot of points but I kept the other teams defense so busy they left the goal wide open for an easy win.
It is the only time I remember that being really aggressive got my awards and not in trouble!
Hell yeah, I played soccer and it was just like that for me.
I'm playing football and I hope to accomplish the same.
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Shatbat
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I'm a below than average athlete because of my awful coordination, but as playing soccer is big around here, so I always played as defense or as goalkeeper with my friends. Let enough time pass, and I became a fairly good defender and the best goalkeeper in my group. When playing for fun outside of competitions, nobody gets too angry when someone is failing, and also, they all know who is good and who isn't and play accordingly. And yes, I've seen that if I play good enough when I'm with other people, they don't care about quirks.
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
I wanted to kill them and you know what?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I still do.
Not to drag this off topic but I can almost say the same. That's probably why half my posts here reference this: try as I might I cannot shake the overwhelming desire for revenge. Theraphy was useless because almost nobody can relate to my experiences. If you haven't been REALLY targeted like me, you have no idea how bad it was. The beatings were actually the mild part: being constantly emotionally tormented where you lose the will to live completely was horrible beyond words. I'm not a violent person but if I ever saw the 'ringleaders' dying on the street I would refuse to help them or get help and would be very pleased to see them suffer. Go ahead and call me just as bad as they are, but how would YOU feel if someone was physically abusing your child and instead of arresting the perpetrator the police just told you quit whining and warned you that you'd be given a long prison sentence if you said "boo" to the abuser. Would you just say "oh well?" That's pretty much what I had to put up with.
Back on topic, bullies on sports team and rare because a)they want to be there and b)they understand what teamwork is. Best thing to do is to stand your ground but NOT to throw a violent tantrum. Just be assertive and you should generally be fine in my experiences.
I feel sorry for you. But while a bully is rare in sports, a jerk isn't.
Did anyone else play sports the hard way?
When my high school played hockey or football we played without helmets or pads so when you blocked the puck
you took it to the chest,face etc.
I broke 4 hockey sticks over peoples ankles for getting in the way of the puck, threw one person in to the stands
and while playing football against the teachers had a full speed collision with a teacher resulting in a black eye
for me and knocked 3 teeth out of him.
Fun Times!! !! !! !! !
This post reminded me of a youtube video I saw a couple of months ago that put "jocks" and "aspies" on the different edges of a bell curve. It explains why we have so much trouble getting along.
The guy's a bit of a blow hard, obnoxious at times. and judging from the number of dislikes he's gotten, not too popular. I just liked the way he graphs everything, because I will graph EVERYTHING.
Graphs rock!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDF_AfD8Z00
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