belonging

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i dont feel like i belong anywhere, to friends to family, to society, i dont feel i even belong here.

i see i have 2 descisions, live my life in this hell, and have stress and frustration and fear everyday, or to die by suicide and just be in plain fear.

its getting harder and harder. especially when you only have yourself, no friends no family no support,

Hello xCarlax,

What are your fears?

To stay and live forever where you are now?
Or something else?

Also, I believe that this thread could be moved in the "haven" section.

fears they are real and they are constantly being misunderstood and end up being all alone in this world.... as i am now.
i just feel like im about to explode very shortly.

A few years ago I did what I considered a "living suicide". What this means is that I basically gave up on everything I was afraid of or that was negative in order to start over again. That way I could restructure my life into a more functional one and use the lessons I learned to shape a more positive life. If something isn't working now then why not change it? I even ended a 14 year friendship. I had determined that that person was a partial cause of my self esteem problems and was keeping me from moving on due to excessive criticism.

From what I have seen in your threads, I would say you should see a therapist to get your problems off your chest and maybe have a constructive dialogue with someone who exists outside your situation. In the mental state you are now in, you are not likely to be able to figure it out by yourself. I'd also say that your age says you are 20. That is too young to give up on life. You don't know what your future holds and you need to give life a chance.

Every day I feel like this [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rwfqg4zGIM[/youtube]I am pretty sure many other aspies can relate!!

Don't let a few posts discourage you or jump to conclusions about whether you can fit in. I'm new on this forum but on a few others I'm a frequent poster with lots of friends, but on those I didn't always feel as if I fit in either. Certainly not after 40-something posts. It takes a while for people to get to know you and for you to find which of them are compatible, which are just jerks you should ignore, etc. Try to develop a belief that your way of seeing the world, thoughts and interests, are inherently worthwhile and if you simply share them those who can relate to them will find you. "You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself..."