No one believes me?

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So, I've recently learned that I most likely have AS. I've been having a really difficult time dealing with my mixed feelings about this, and I think it's even throwing me into "overload" (still trying to understand what the even means, but I've been taking a lot of showers because it seems to be helping). Anyway, I've been trying to talk to a few friends about this, and they don't believe me! One of my friends asked what difference it would make to find out, which I thought was pretty ignorant, but maybe I'm reading too much into that comment. Than my sister was saying that she "knows people with AS" and that they're really "different" (not like me). Even my therapist thought that I was completely wrong, until she had me explain myself (than she said she wanted to test me!). I had another person tell me that AS is just "over-diagnosed like ADHD" and that everyone thinks that everyone has AS or something.

Anyway, I'm finding it impossible to find even an ounce of support with this, and I'm really having a hard time trying to convince anyone that I have any kind of internal struggles at all. I don't know why that would be, I recently had to go to the ER because I sprained my wrist because I broke a table with my bare hands while having what I now know is referred to as a "melt-down" (because I was interrupted). This realization certainly doesn't shock me, in fact, it's like I finally found a word for my life time of unusual behavior. I just can't understand why no one would believe me! Is this common? Has anyone else gone through this?

It is actually quite common and if you want and can afford a diagnosis, get it before you discuss it with people, it may help their attitude. I have been through this and trust me, its better this way. As for a diagnosis not changing anything it sort of doesn't.

I am autistic and getting medical recognition has not changed that fact.

like a friend told me here "the methods used for coping still work, diagnosis or not".

I was officially diagnosed by a clinical psychologist who is an expert on Asperger's. She wrote several articles and counsels Asperger's couples here in Seattle. She also sponsors the biggest Asperger's meetuo group here so she's well known in this aspect. Guess what? My family or so-called friends don't believe I'm an aspie. They said I don't look like Rain Man or Adam or Miss Snow Cake so I'm not an aspie. They said I don't look like the descrition of it in online descriptions. They FAIL to see this is a SPECTRUM, a variety of symptoms ad their severity, that we fall under. I'm mild, and over the years I've learned to blend I in with the norm. I've learned to look people in the eyes. I'm still working on the illeism bit (refer to myself in 3rd person) because it drives people crazy. I'm still a social misfit and am VERY prone to saying the wrong things in conversations. Mentally, I'm like a 12 year old. I still play video games. Mature things like marriage, relationships, mortgage and children escape me. I can't feel anyone's pain if they're crying for a loved one. (It aggravates me, really). So, yeah, NT's don't get me at all, but WP does. That's the important thing.

I have a similar problem, except that people believe I have it. What they don't believe or maybe just don't understand is how it affects my life. I can seem normal for short amounts of time but if I am around people for too long it is exhausting. Some people more than others. And after too long it shows up as, according to some people being rude. I am also aloof most of the time.

People don't see that it affects us, wouldn't recognize a social skill unless you could wrap it up and label it in writing as a social skill, and hit them over the head with it.

I wish people understood and believed. It would make life easier for us.

If you want acceptance, come here, because you are not likely to find it anywhere else. I'm so glad I found WP!

I guess, by definition, I'd be considered aloof. I don't like the connotation, though, that I'm "better than thou." It's quite the opposite, more like "I'm not worthy."

I have been called aloof by other people. I never thought about the connotation though. Because I don't see myself as better. Sometimes worse, or more specifically less capaable. But that's more because of my LD than AS.

some people are incapable of decontextualization and will presume "normalcy  in all facets of your life, simply because you appear to be at least "marginally normal" within the confines of a given domain. "you can speak, therefore you can't be autistic". "you have a specialized skill, therefore you can't be autistic." "you're not a robot, therefore you can't be autistic"... the list is ridiculous and endless. sometimes, if these people have known you for awhile, they may be unable to view you outside the context of a longstanding relationship. i have many people who see me infrequently on best behavior who regard this behavior as a constant (instead of realizing its a transient and profoundly exhausting performance that doesn't even remotely resemble my behavior at home.) relatives presume that because i'm able to relate to them, functionally albeit quite awkwardly, that i relate to ALL people i meet in this fashion (without understanding my skills decrease exponentially outside familiar relationships). that's just how some people are. if they don't see something (it doesn't matter if they only see you once a year for five minutes) they'll presume it isn't there. and often times, even when they CAN see it, they dismiss it -- unless or until its so obvious that there are marquees and flashing, red lights.

After reading this and similar posts, I'm convinced that I'll never tell anyone about my Autism. Labels don't really do anything for me, anyway. It's best for you and others to simply recognize aspects and challenges of your personality, and find constructive ways to deal with them, rather than fussing over a label.

But if people are being unsympathetic and blaming your struggles on YOU, then I feel for you. Luckily, I've never really had to deal with such ignorance.

I have been fortunate in that many of the people I know actually agree with me that I have Asperger's. Even many of the ones who didn't think it initially have come around to agree that it probably describes me.