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Sanctus
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21 Jul 2012, 2:23 pm

Is it just me or are a lot of social rules incredibly stupid?

Let's say, we want to apply for a job. Now we'll get invited and you're basically supposed to tell him that you're the best worker in the world, incredibly motivated and work perfectly in a team. Truth probably is that the boss knows anyway that you're lying to him. So why don't you just say "well I need money and I'd be willing to do this if you pay me decently, I'll even be on time and I'm also pretty good at this and that."

Or the way society treats "authority". I've seen a lot of bosses who were so ridiculously stupid and wrong for their position it hurt just to listen to them. Yet everybody treats them like gods, even when they make the worst suggestions. It'd be better for the good of the company to just say "look you're too stupid for this. Let me show you how it's done."

The way I see it most social rules actually ensure that the most stupid, superficial people always end up on top. Not exactly good for survival is it?

I've actually considered to try to be completely honest and straightforward to everybody for a week or so, just too see how it goes.



MightyMorphin
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21 Jul 2012, 2:35 pm

The boss thing. Say if you were employed by someone, didn't like how they were doing things and complained about your manager to someone higher up for example, and your manager found out it was you who complained, he's probably going to sack you for some ridiculous reason he can find, OR he's going to make work hell for you and set you up, so you're forced to quit.

Yeah the world is stupid, but we have to go along with it. It's the easy option.



GiantHockeyFan
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21 Jul 2012, 2:40 pm

I laugh looking back to when I was looking for work. I told a counsellor the main reason I wanted a "real" job was money. She was horrified that I was looking out for my own interests. You think someone would appreciate me coming out and telling the honest truth but nope. Social rules are really silly and this is just the tip of the iceberg. One of the areas I was looking for work was in the banking industry and if you want to see what a pack of butt kissing yes men looks like that's where to go. Some people STILL wonder why people listened to Hitler



CWA
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21 Jul 2012, 2:41 pm

I have this issue at job interviews. I'm too truthful. I got the job I have now honestly because at the time I interviewed, the truth wasn't weird or bad. I had moved to the area, was new to the area and needed a job. I had relevent experience. Nothing odd. No need to attempt a lie.

I've had a couple job interviews lately. I always slip up and say I'm looking for a new job because I dislike my boss, I'm bored at my current job, or I'm afraid of looming lay offs... Every time.



Nymeria8
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21 Jul 2012, 5:11 pm

Its not just you. And I gave up following most social rules about 2 years ago. It was a great relief. I would rather people like me for my honesty than for me to resent them for making me pretend.


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InThisTogether
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21 Jul 2012, 6:07 pm

CWA wrote:
I've had a couple job interviews lately. I always slip up and say I'm looking for a new job because I dislike my boss, I'm bored at my current job, or I'm afraid of looming lay offs... Every time.


"Better" answers are: I am looking for growth and bigger challenges, I am looking for growth and bigger challenges, and I am looking for growth and bigger challenges. Not completely divorced from the real reasons, but much easier on a hiring manager's ears.

All managers know that people fake it and are on their best behavior during an interview. Whenever I have interviewed someone and their behavior or answer was not "appropriate," it always made me wonder if this is their "best behavior" what am I going to get when they relax a little? LOL!


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Rebel_Nowe
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21 Jul 2012, 7:12 pm

I've begun to think of more and more of life in video games structure. I am learning the buzzwords and ideas (the effective skill combos) to deal with job interviews (a difficult boss). At my last interview, I went full on power gamer and combined all my buzzwords and desirable ideas with my skill with words to deliver a deeper, more intelligent version of my preset scripts. It got me the job. =/

Gonna apply at some construction company that someone in my wife's family said is hiring (he works for them). They pay tons of money, if I can get on and get my hands on some sort of transportation.


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sedods
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31 Jul 2012, 12:52 am

Agreed. Those can be so annoying. I hate when someone I work with is walking past me and asks "How are you?". We both know she doesnt care. Just like we both know I dont care when I ask her back out of nothing more than pressure to conform to social expectancies. I can only assume both of us would have preffered not to speak at all when we walked by each other.

Or when my dad calls me on my cell and starts the conversasion with "How was your day?". You obviously didnt call just to ask me that, so why did you?!

So annoying...



Kaelynn
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31 Jul 2012, 1:44 am

The truth can hurt. Some people fear pain.



opal
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31 Jul 2012, 2:52 am

Kaelynn wrote:
The truth can hurt. Some people fear pain.


So they go through life paranoid; never knowing who is their friend. who they can trust, who is stabbing them in the back ?

What a strange world we live in.



hanyo
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31 Jul 2012, 3:06 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I laugh looking back to when I was looking for work. I told a counsellor the main reason I wanted a "real" job was money.


For many jobs there is no other reason than that. That is the only reason I would have to ever have a job. It's not like people work for fun.

I absolutely won't lie in a job interview. I don't care if that means I'll never have a job. It's not worth lying just to get a job.

Not that I've ever had much chance to be honest. I've only had one job interview in my life and didn't get the job.



Last edited by hanyo on 31 Jul 2012, 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

League_Girl
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31 Jul 2012, 3:14 am

I also think the social rules for applying for a job is stupid. I never knew there were right answers you had to put until I was on here. No wonder finding a job had always been tough for me. Now I know I just have to lie and I need to go and ask my mother what do I put on this application. But yet I passed an interview when I was 21. I guess I was lucky. But I don't understand why it's wrong to have a job because you need money. Why is that so wrong? Isn't that why everyone works?

I also don't get why people ask how you are and not mean it. Same as asking how the weather is when they both can see it.


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outofplace
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31 Jul 2012, 3:40 am

I agree that the rules are stupid, but that is how most of society works so that is what we are forced to do if we want to work within it's framework.

I do have some experience at both ends of this though. Several years ago, I was promoted to be the general manager of a pizza place I worked at. Now, I had decided that I would do things differently. I would use logic to run things and not deal with emotions as that would be better. Boy was I naive! I learned a lot during the 18 months I ran that store. One of the things I had to learn is that logic means little to most people. Instead, the way you get things done is by veiled threats and one-upmanship. To be the boss and actually have people listen to you, they had to fear you. You had to be the ram with the biggest horns or else other males would challenge your right to dominance.

What was my original management style, you ask? Well, for one, I allowed people to suggest alternate courses for certain things. If they were better, they were incorporated into the way the store ran. If my boss complimented me on how another person's idea made things work better, I was sure to give credit where it was due and not keep it all for myself. I was also a nice, open person that was easy to get to know and that would work with people when they had a problem. I didn't scream, didn't yell and just expected things to get done because I told someone to do them. Sadly though this didn't work. Instead, people walked all over me. Eventually, I had to develop a much more confrontational style of management. One of the things I had to learn was how to get visibly upset and yell at people as it doesn't come naturally to me. I am probably the only person in the history of management to have to plan a screaming fit directed at a subordinate! Eventually, I became known in the company as the person most likely to fire people. I also became known as the only manager to run a store for over a year without a single customer complaint to the 1-800 number for corporate. Then again, I was also disorganized in my office, but oddly organized in other ways. I wrote keystroke by keystroke manuals for every single task someone could possibly have to do to run that store. I developed systems that improved order accuracy. It was an odd duality that showed me my weaknesses as a person but that I was able to grow and learn from. Now I have learned not to show too much weakness in front of most people as they will try to take advantage of it. It's a very valuable lesson to learn if you don't want to be exploited.


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Last edited by outofplace on 31 Jul 2012, 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

vanhalenkurtz
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31 Jul 2012, 3:56 am

Honesty is good long-term strategy.

Sometimes short-term strategy is required.


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hartzofspace
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31 Jul 2012, 12:42 pm

outofplace wrote:
I agree that the rules are stupid, but that is how most of society works so that is what we are forced to do if we want to work within it's framework.

I do have some experience at both ends of this though. Several years ago, I was promoted to be the general manager of a pizza place I worked at. Now, I had decided that I would do things differently. I would use logic to run things and not deal with emotions as that would be better. Boy was I naive! I learned a lot during the 18 months I ran that store. One of the things I had to learn is that logic means little to most people. Instead, the way you get things done is by veiled threats and one-upmanship. To be the boss and actually have people listen to you, they had to fear you. You had to be the ram with the biggest horns or else other males would challenge your right to dominance.

What was my original management style, you ask? Well, for one, I allowed people to suggest alternate courses for certain things. If they were better, they were incorporated into the way the store ran. If my boss complimented me on how another person's idea made things work better, I was sure to give credit where it was due and not keep it all for myself. I was also a nice, open person that was easy to get to know and that would work with people when they had a problem. I didn't scream, didn't yell and just expected things to get done because I told someone to do them. Sadly though this didn't work. Instead, people walked all over me. Eventually, I had to develop a much more confrontational style of management. One of the things I had to learn was how to get visibly upset and yell at people as it doesn't come naturally to me. I am probably the only person in the history of management to have to plan a screaming fit directed at a subordinate! Eventually, I became known in the company as the person most likely to fire people. I also became known as the only manager to run a store for over a year without a single customer complaint to the 1-800 number for corporate. Then again, I was also disorganized in my office, but oddly organized in other ways. I wrote keystroke by keystroke manuals for every single task someone could possibly have to do to run that store. I developed systems that improved order accuracy. It was an odd duality that showed me my weaknesses as a person but that I was able to grow and learn from. Now I have learned not to show too much weakness in front of most people as they will try to take advantage of it. It's a very valuable lesson to learn if you don't want to be exploited.

Wow, that sounds awesome! 8)


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philippepetit
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31 Jul 2012, 1:20 pm

because people want jobs and don't believe that some exaggeration is that big of a deal
some interviewers appreciate the honest approach, but some will assume that you are attempting to make yourself look better anyway and are just such a loser that your version of a believable exaggeration would be something that low to the ground, haha