Anxiety from Eating at Same Restaurant

Page 2 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,203
Location: Maidstone, UK

22 Jul 2012, 9:07 am

I can relate a bit. There is a newsagents shop I always used to go in as a child to choose sweets and drinks, but when I was about 16 I stormed out of there once in a temper, because my friend kept criticising me over something and a kid was wailing at the top of it's voice and so it all got too much that I couldn't take it any more, so I stormed out and saw everybody looking at me as I did so (then regretted my sudden reaction afterwards, like always). I haven't been back in there since, I know it was a few years ago now but I still feel embarrassed to go back in there because I know the same people still work in there and they have known my mum, her sister and their mum for a long time, not as good friends but they know their faces and their names, and so they obviously know who I am, and I just feel embarrassed going back in there.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


premedaspie
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jun 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 33
Location: US

22 Jul 2012, 1:07 pm

I have basically the same problem. I have a specific order at every single restaurant that my family goes. If we go somewhere that I've never been and I have to find something else to eat, everything gets really overwhelming and I can't concentrate on the menu. At our favorite restaurant, the servers always know exactly what I'm going to get, and kind of giggle at me when I order. I hate feeling weird, so I want to get something else...but I rarely do. :)



ghoti
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2012
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,737

22 Jul 2012, 1:14 pm

At my old job, i would go to Subway for lunch. They must have known me as one day there was a long line, and they called me up as they made my order once i stepped onto the line.



MightyMorphin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 570

22 Jul 2012, 1:31 pm

ghoti wrote:
At my old job, i would go to Subway for lunch. They must have known me as one day there was a long line, and they called me up as they made my order once i stepped onto the line.


That was quite nice of them to do I suppose, but they should never assume. Asking "Is it the usual?" would be fine for me personally, but if they made my order without asking me, that would p*ss me off. Just one day I might walk into the restaurant and fancy something else for a change.



loner1984
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 621

22 Jul 2012, 10:45 pm

I would imagine your probably not that old yet. 19-21 or so ?.

You need to start to work on not caring.

Its very good to learn imo. why should you care what they think?. They are just happy to have regular loyal customers.

What other people think is meaningless imo. It doesnt benefit you in any way. Its hard at first, but it comes with age i assume or hope.

Its hard enough having it as we do, having to go around caring about what other people think just makes it even worse.

Go there every single day for the next week. That will help.



keerawa
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 154
Location: Seattle

22 Jul 2012, 11:24 pm

bizboy1 wrote:
Hello, I eat out everyday and I like to order the same thing from the same restaurant everyday.


I totally get what you're saying. There are three Starbucks between my home and work, and switch up which one I go to so that the baristas in each one don't start to learn my name and drink, and CHAT with me when I go in. (I can pull off socializing and small talk, but only a limited amount each day, and I want to save it for my co-workers.)

I also order delivery from a particular Thai restaurant so much that they give me $100 gift certificates every Christmas, and once when I hadn't ordered anything for a week they called ME to ask if I was OK!

Like everyone else is saying, there's no need to be anxious. The people at the restaurant LIKE repeat customers, even more when we order the same thing over and over, and they are trying to be nice. They might even think you are lonely, when you go in by yourself, and are trying to help. I often bring a book or work on my smart-phone when eating out, and then no one feels the need to talk to me.

I also, for particularly dire days, when I can't cope with ANY social interaction, but want or need to go outside of home, have a t-shirt: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/a69c/
Waitresses read it, laugh, then nod and walk away. It's great!



Mdyar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,514

23 Jul 2012, 12:21 am

bizboy1 wrote:
Hello, I eat out everyday and I like to order the same thing from the same restaurant everyday. People that work there notice this and it makes me anxious. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm hungry right now and want to get something to eat but my anxiety is too high. I want to eat at restaurant A but I'm embarrassed and simultaneously feel uncomfortable.

Yes, but once a week for breakfast, and.........

Here's the kicker: The problem lies not just in the same dish, but there is a sameness about it all - meaning that there is no small talk development or just little surface stuff and they may think you don't like them enough to asked anything about them. I once broke the ice with some cheer with a manager/ part owner in that restaurant, (as she also collected the payments), and I noticed this made her feel good.

This is something that I've been working on to do, and I find some funnies in making general spontaneous humorous remarks. Otherwise I'm bored to tears - and usually I can't find something to small talk about.

It can be real awkward if you go and do nothing with the same people. If I'm alone sometimes I won't go there in a "routine" because of this.

You can feel "that" in the air.



ScottyN
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 461
Location: Calgary, Canada

23 Jul 2012, 12:52 am

I always order the same the from the same restaurant I usually go to. It doesn't bother me, though.



Jeanna
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 72

23 Jul 2012, 12:02 pm

I do this too. Every time I go for lunch with my friends, I always get the exact same thing from the exact same stall in my university canteen. My friends noticed this and used to comment on/laugh about it for a while so I tried eating other things but it just didn't feel right so I went back to the original dish again. Thankfully the servers are different almost everyday because of their shifts, and they serve so many university students anyway that I don't think they remember me.
Now whenever my friends point it out, I just try to make an offhand joke about how the school food is so terrible that I have to resort to getting the only palatable thing there is all the time.
I have, however, been ordering that particular dish exclusively for almost two years straight now. It's probably not a very healthy eating habit. :\



DrPenguin
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 259

23 Jul 2012, 12:45 pm

They're just being friendly and inviting, sometimes to be friendly others so that you come back again. On average most people like to feel that people notice them and it works both ways customer and staff. A laugh and a comment like 'you do know I'm going to have this every time till you get it right' or 'love the food, just not much of a talker.'

Bunnynose wrote:
bizboy1, you're looking at being a loyal and frequent patron all wrong. Instead of worrying, start smiling. Because when the restaurant people realize you love their food, they'll start to treat you special. Say Hello, introduce yourself and ask, What's your name? and remember each and every restaurant person's name. Tell them you really like X dish and Y dish is great too. You never know what nice things they'll do for you until you show them some small appreciation.


Too true, works in almost every situation.