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Nonperson
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22 Jul 2012, 5:01 pm

I met my husband on a forum for Tolkien fans. Before I knew anything about him (A/S/L) we both participated in some games there and I noticed and liked the way he seemed both very logical and very considerate, kind to newbies, etc. When I realized he was a single guy my own age (who lived only 4000 miles away :lol:), I flirted with him a bit and tried to get to know him better, and eventually we started talking on Skype. We ended up talking for hours every day, taking online quizzes, discussing our lives and worldviews (we didn't know much about AS then but found we had a lot in common in our "weirdness" as we saw it) and it turned into a serious relationship very quickly. We both knew what we wanted at that point (we were in our late 20's and I'd been married before) and knew when we'd found it. One thing that was very important to me was the fact that when we had a conflict or misunderstanding we were able to discuss it honestly and find a solution instead of playing games. We visited each other as often as we could until we were finally able to live together. That was almost four years ago, and contrary to conventional wisdom, he did turn out to be the same person I got to know over the internet. I strongly suspect he's an aspie or at least BAP, and sometimes we still like to write to each other over Skype, though we're sitting in the same room, because we both find it easier than speaking aloud. I suppose that might be "weird" - as are our philosophical discussions about spaghetti sauce and a lot of other things we do - but it works for us.



AnOldHFA
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22 Jul 2012, 7:35 pm

I do not have anyone.

In my twenties was the only time I looked for a girlfriend.. There ware two girls that ended with them asking me to move across the US with them. Then I end up with an abusive women. It ended when I tired to stop her from sending off our very young daughter to spend the night with a grown man... I'm pretty sure I am afraid of women now.. It has been close to ten years and I have not even looked for a girlfriend since...

If I am to ever be with someone again. She will have to be a high functioning autistic, like me.

My lack of knowing what I feel has always been a problem. I know I want to be with someone, but telling them why has been impossible.... I believe all the good girls my age were all taken long ago



TTRSage
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22 Jul 2012, 9:36 pm

What partner... I am alone in this world.



keerawa
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22 Jul 2012, 11:13 pm

We met at college. I wandered into the common room at the same time he asked, "Anybody in the mood for ice cream?" That sounded tasty, so I went with him to get some. He was the smartest guy I'd ever met, and was interested in a lot of the same things as me, so we ended up going back to my dorm room and staying up all night talking. Around dawn we had sex. (I'd been sexually active for years, but I'd say this was my first really GOOD sexual experience, as opposed to just having sex because the other person enjoyed it.)

I can be kind of obsessive, and he was the same way, so we ended up spending all our time together outside of class. Even in class, actually - I started attending one of his classes to take notes for him. I ended up moving into his dorm room about two weeks later, and we've been together ever since. 23 years. Wow.



Ilka
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23 Jul 2012, 11:02 am

keerawa wrote:
We met at college. I wandered into the common room at the same time he asked, "Anybody in the mood for ice cream?" That sounded tasty, so I went with him to get some. He was the smartest guy I'd ever met, and was interested in a lot of the same things as me, so we ended up going back to my dorm room and staying up all night talking. Around dawn we had sex. (I'd been sexually active for years, but I'd say this was my first really GOOD sexual experience, as opposed to just having sex because the other person enjoyed it.) I can be kind of obsessive, and he was the same way, so we ended up spending all our time together outside of class. Even in class, actually - I started attending one of his classes to take notes for him. I ended up moving into his dorm room about two weeks later, and we've been together ever since. 23 years. Wow.


Your love story is sooooo cute! By the say, same here: here IS the smartest guy I've ever met. That was what first got me.



GiantHockeyFan
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23 Jul 2012, 11:13 am

CWA wrote:
The only reason I specified tall is because I didn't want really really short kids. The height of children is affected by genetics from both parents. If both parents are short, chances are the kids will be too. It had nothing to do with a real preference on my part. If anything, I would have preferred a partner closer to my height, but it was more important to not have very short kids. It turns out that maybe I should have been more concerned about "personality" elements, I didn't think my "weirdness" our our "weirdness" would be passed on. I thought it was due to child hood trauma. Nope. The oldest appears to be AS. We're in the middle of figuring that out.


Out of curiosity, why would anyone want a tall kid? I HATE being tall. Between making you an easy target for bullies, endless jokes about my basketball skills, terrible posture due to trying to 'get down' in the world, women being scared of you because you look intimidating, and until recently the nearly impossible task for buying clothes that fit I would take being average of short any day!



YellowBanana
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23 Jul 2012, 11:30 am

I met my husband at University. He was on the same course as me but I didn't have any contact with him until one day we were in the computer lab doing a practical and a message popped up on my screen. This was in 1994 - I didn't even know about instant messaging but apparently he did! I replied and this went on for several practicals before I realised who it was. Then my flatmate had a birthday and wanted to go the cinema with her boyfriend, me and a.n.other. I asked my now husband (by IM of course) and he said he'd come. We've been together since then - 18 years, married for 10. He was my first (and only) boyfriend.


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Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD


Ilka
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23 Jul 2012, 1:52 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Out of curiosity, why would anyone want a tall kid? I HATE being tall. Between making you an easy target for bullies, endless jokes about my basketball skills, terrible posture due to trying to 'get down' in the world, women being scared of you because you look intimidating, and until recently the nearly impossible task for buying clothes that fit I would take being average of short any day!


Being too short is AS BAD as being too tall. And probably worst, because bullies usually are meaner on smaller kids.