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Mootoo
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22 Jul 2012, 10:47 am

Does anyone have a concrete idea of how those both contrast? I know some people grow up in a guilt-based culture, especially religious ones, and others in a shameful one - I'm in the latter, I remember my mother telling me that my nipples are weird when I was about five. :(

Are people with AS more prone to one or the other?



Moondust
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22 Jul 2012, 11:59 am

I was both guilt-tripped and shamed in my family. So much so that my first feeling when anything bad happens to me is shame, then guilt, even when I have done no wrong. But I'm not sure what you're asking.


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MightyMorphin
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22 Jul 2012, 12:04 pm

Shame is a global feeling: I am bad.

Guilt is a more delimited feeling: I have done something bad.

Because shame is about who you are, it is much more intolerable than guilt, which is about what you have done.

I copied and pasted this from here - http://shrinkwrapped.blogs.com/blog/200 ... shame.html

I felt that was the best explanation I could find.



Mego
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22 Jul 2012, 12:44 pm

There is an actual in depth physical reasoning behind the feelings of shame vs guilt too. It depends on how a person is neurologically wired and brain chemicals. I remember looking it up when I dated a narcissist and realized that he feels a great amount of shame, but little to no guilt. I'll look it up to see if I can find it.....



PixelPony
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22 Jul 2012, 2:34 pm

There's a difference between shame and guilt? I've never been able to tell or feel a difference between them.

Wouldn't be surprised if I'm confused there. I got so many conflicting messages on the topic. Told not to be ashamed, yelled at for having no shame. Guilt all the time. Pride was confusing too; I was yelled at for having it and for not having it.


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Nymeria8
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22 Jul 2012, 5:07 pm

PixelPony wrote:
There's a difference between shame and guilt? I've never been able to tell or feel a difference between them.

Wouldn't be surprised if I'm confused there. I got so many conflicting messages on the topic. Told not to be ashamed, yelled at for having no shame. Guilt all the time. Pride was confusing too; I was yelled at for having it and for not having it.


I was going to respond with something similar. I'm not sure I will ever quite understand the difference between guilt and shame. All I know is that my life is filled with it/them and most of my internal talk is colored with it.


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CWA
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22 Jul 2012, 5:27 pm

I understand shame quite well. It was the principal method of discipline growing up. That and smacks or spanking.



Moondust
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22 Jul 2012, 6:17 pm

Guilt = they made me think others' problems were because of me.
Shame = they'd lecture me about how mean I was in front of my siblings.


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