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nick007
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20 Jul 2018, 8:12 am

I felt like an outsider my whole life. I have a lot of physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers that cause me to struggle with lots of life stuff. The only goal I had as a kid & teen was to be done with skewl cuz I majorly struggled in it due to dyslexia & other related learning disabilities. When I wasn't in skewl like when I had summers & vacations off or when I got home from skewl, I just wanted to spend the whole time in my room watching TV & playing vid games while listening to music. After I graduated high-skewl, I wanted to find a job cuz I knew I was supposed to but I spent most of my time online when I wasn't going to places to put in apps. After I got my 1st girlfriend at 20, my goal was to get married but I was still looking for a job & spending most of my time online. I eventually got a job a while after we broke up & my goal after the breakup was to find another girlfriend. I was a workaholic & when I wasn't working, I was on dating sites or online forums when I wasn't sleeping. After I quit working my goal was to find another job & my other goal was still to find a girlfriend & I was spending most of my time on dating sites & online forums. After I got my 2nd girlfriend my goal was to get married till she broke up with me. Shortly after the breakup I got in my current relationship & I haven't really had any goals since I moved to be with her. We would be married by now but she's also disabled & it'll screw up her benefits. I'm still unemployed & haven't looked for a job since I moved over 5 & a half years ago. I had a lot of adjusting to do & my girlfriend has anxiety & depression & doesn't want me gone more than a few hours a day but I don't have a clue how to go about finding a job like that. Part-timers at the 3 jobs I had were scheduled 6 to 9 hours a day 4 to 5 days a week. I worry getting a job like that would risk losing my disability & other benefits because I wouldn't come out ahead financially if I lost them cuz my health care would be expensive. It doesn't pay for me to be working 30 hours a week to be in about the same financial situation as not working at all. I really should start looking for a job where I can only work a few hours a day cuz we could really use the extra money. Anyways I spend most of my time with my girlfriend & I spend time on comp when I'm not with her. I haven't made a single friend here & neither has my girlfriend but neither of us are social people who go hang out at places & neither of us has really tried to make friends. It doesn't feel like I have much of a life at all compared to the majority of society & the majority of society would probably look down on me for not working so I defiantly feel like I don't have much f a place in life except for my girlfriend.


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But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.


Substantially_Abstract
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21 Jul 2018, 2:04 am

That's quite interesting, nick007. 'Tis good that you managed to find a job, despite all your struggles with skewl and stuff. Who did you work as? My brother's like you: all he wants to do is play video games, like hotline Miami, skyrim, halflife 1 or 2 or watch people making videos about video games or jokes about how our world is so corrupted or messed up. The only thing that we both love talking about is history, (especially ww2), but he doesn't really want to be a historian or anything...



Anonymous93
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21 Jul 2018, 2:36 am

I feel for you mate, I wish I knew my place too. I've felt like an outsider as an adult, arkward/anti social, struggled at jobs, depression etc. For me I'd love to have my own online business. Comfort of my own home, no interacting physically with people, good money, fun work.. but the thought of interacting with people online everyday, having attention and being judged.. would probably be too overwhelming for me as an aspie (maybe in another life, I guess). I've been on and off with poker last few years too (same principles as online business really, work from home etc), but its a very complicated and hard game to play. Not to mention my childlike tantrums when I lose or something doesn't go my own way. I feel if I could control the anger aspect though and learn from a professional coach (touched on it briefly), how to make a living from the game.. I'd be good for life.

I'm the type of guy thats prepared to lose money for awhile before I get good and make profit.. than go through the hell of being at a normal job. I'm also fully aware I'd have to save money for 6-9 months for training and bankroll etc with a job first.. but atleast the job wouldn't be forever (no way I could do it, physically or mentally) and it would keep me going, knowing I'd be working towards something better. My previous work history has been warehouse and production, but to be honest.. I've sucked at both of them. Couldn't take instructions properly and made a lot of mistakes. I'm 24 and have never done more than 3 months at a job and have currently been unemployed or about 7 months.

I've been out of work awhile and I'm planning to go on a warehouse course (to freshen my skills up seems as there so poor at the moment) so I can get back into warehousing and do it right this time. I struggle at it though and I really hate it so if anyone's reading.. do you think I should try a different field of work? or do warehouse again, but with proper training this time? It's the only work I can get relatively quickly without a lot of qualifications, but as I said.. I struggle and hate it. Like you my friend I am struggling to find my purpose in life (not long ago I thought it was suicide, I thought about putting an end to this cursed life) but hopefully I'll get there sooner or later and you do too.



Amity
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21 Jul 2018, 4:09 am

I know this is a necro thread, but what if having a place in life is a made up notion... I'm not so sure that it's possible to have one.



nick007
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21 Jul 2018, 7:39 am

Substantially_Abstract wrote:
That's quite interesting, nick007. 'Tis good that you managed to find a job, despite all your struggles with skewl and stuff. Who did you work as? My brother's like you: all he wants to do is play video games, like hotline Miami, skyrim, halflife 1 or 2 or watch people making videos about video games or jokes about how our world is so corrupted or messed up. The only thing that we both love talking about is history, (especially ww2), but he doesn't really want to be a historian or anything...
Thanx. My 1st job was a dishwasher at IHOP, my 2nd was doing floor cleaning at WalMart, & my 3rd was a custodian at a sporting goods store.


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But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.


QuantumChemist
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21 Jul 2018, 9:38 am

Amity wrote:
I know this is a necro thread, but what if having a place in life is a made up notion... I'm not so sure that it's possible to have one.


You may be right in that it is a made up concept, but it does give people comfort if they feel that they have a purpose in life. Some fall into that purpose, others have always had it. A few never find it so they have to create it for themselves. A key part to being happy with your life is to never start thinking that you picked the wrong purpose in life or it will become a self-fulfilling destiny. Others may seem to have it much easier in life, but often you do not know the route that they took to get there. It might have been a highway to hell instead of an easy ride.



kazanscube
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21 Jul 2018, 10:11 am

Yes, I've tried to find a place in life, as often I've felt like someone on ship that simply crosses various oceans often lowering anchors on what I've felt was serenity only to be disillusioned and disappointed.
Yet, I continue to push forward not really knowing where I'll actually wind up, but hopefully at some destination where, I'll be okay at least.


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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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22 Jul 2018, 12:36 pm

nick007 wrote:
Substantially_Abstract wrote:
That's quite interesting, nick007. 'Tis good that you managed to find a job, despite all your struggles with skewl and stuff. Who did you work as? My brother's like you: all he wants to do is play video games, like hotline Miami, skyrim, halflife 1 or 2 or watch people making videos about video games or jokes about how our world is so corrupted or messed up. The only thing that we both love talking about is history, (especially ww2), but he doesn't really want to be a historian or anything...
Thanx. My 1st job was a dishwasher at IHOP, my 2nd was doing floor cleaning at WalMart, & my 3rd was a custodian at a sporting goods store.

Yes, good luck with finding a job ). Maybe you should be a professional gamer if you like games so much :)



nick007
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22 Jul 2018, 3:51 pm

Substantially_Abstract wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Substantially_Abstract wrote:
That's quite interesting, nick007. 'Tis good that you managed to find a job, despite all your struggles with skewl and stuff. Who did you work as? My brother's like you: all he wants to do is play video games, like hotline Miami, skyrim, halflife 1 or 2 or watch people making videos about video games or jokes about how our world is so corrupted or messed up. The only thing that we both love talking about is history, (especially ww2), but he doesn't really want to be a historian or anything...
Thanx. My 1st job was a dishwasher at IHOP, my 2nd was doing floor cleaning at WalMart, & my 3rd was a custodian at a sporting goods store.

Yes, good luck with finding a job ). Maybe you should be a professional gamer if you like games so much :)
Thanx. I used to like em a lot but I haven't played a lot in ages. I'm not sure how to do it professionally. I'm sure LOTS of people would want to.


_________________
But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.


Substantially_Abstract
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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16 Sep 2018, 7:02 pm

I think one of society's main problems is that it undervalues (is that a word?) theoreticians.'Tis much harder to find a well-paid job as a theoretical mathematician or physicist than it is for a programmer, for example....