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alecazam3567
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01 Aug 2012, 11:43 am

I'm not one to feel very attached to family, and it doesn't really sink in how close my family is to me. But I got extremely attached to my ex-girlfriend.

She was my best friend for over 2 years and I had liked her ever since we started talking, but she never felt the same way. Anyway, after several rejections after asking her out, she finally said yes, and I was immediately extremely happy.

Anyway, it turned out that she only said yes to make me happy. Everyone told me I should get over it and move on, and I'm sure that's easy for some people, but not me. She got another boyfriend and they recently broke up, and I feel like this is a chance. But truly, she's no good for me...

I think I'm attached to the feeling she gave me when we were together, and I'm unwilling to let it go... She even hurt me, but I'm still trying.

Does anyone else grow too attached to people or things? What can I do to try and get over her?



MightyMorphin
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01 Aug 2012, 12:02 pm

You need to learn from this.

When someone says no the first time, to being asked out into a relationship, they do really mean no.
Do not persist this. You will only get hurt.

There is no "chance" for you and her. She said no before, she will only say no again, and even if she said yes, she will only hurt you AGAIN.

Please try to do things to take your mind off her. I'm not sure what though.



alecazam3567
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01 Aug 2012, 12:41 pm

MightyMorphin wrote:
You need to learn from this.

When someone says no the first time, to being asked out into a relationship, they do really mean no.
Do not persist this. You will only get hurt.

There is no "chance" for you and her. She said no before, she will only say no again, and even if she said yes, she will only hurt you AGAIN.

Please try to do things to take your mind off her. I'm not sure what though.

Thank you. I will try much harder. But thanks for actually telling me bluntly instead of being like the people who will tell me there's a chance.

I've tried simply forgetting about her, and it worked for a while, but eventually I was reminded of her, and the feelings came back.



glasstoria
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01 Aug 2012, 12:57 pm

Feelings can be very strong, and very real, and very persistent, however it remains true that feelings are not facts. In this case, the overriding fact of the situationthat it was a half hearted thing on her end, and she hurt you which is not healthy for either of you.

I still have feelings for someone who hurt me, but I know well enough from experience to put space, and time and just distance in general between us so that I can move on. The only thing that will help is time, eventually new things will occupy your thoughts and feelings. Find or friends, meet other people, enjoy your activities and remember it is ok to feel your feelings but don't let them convince you to make any bad decisions.

hope that helps!


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Koi
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01 Aug 2012, 9:06 pm

Oh man, dude, do I know how that feels.

I become ridiculously emotionally attached to people. I have this weird distance between my family and me (not sure why, I just don't like being around them much), but I get very attached to my friends, and crazy attached to boyfriends.
Even if I have panic attacks about them disturbingly often, I get so attached that I can never let them go. And it's weird since I constantly "go back for more". You know?

Like you know that you don't want to have to feel that pain anymore, but you can't help but crave that kind of attachment again.