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WalkingTheDog
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01 Aug 2012, 8:25 pm

I scanned the first few pages of this forum and didn't see anything about Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm not surprised. Supposedly we make up to 1-2% of western population but it seems most of us are too shy to post on internet forums.

I think I was born with AvPD... or at least AvPD tendencies. Let's just say poor parenting and excessive bullying pushed me toward avoidance. I'm a lot better off now than I was 20 years ago; I'm not sure if I've made personal advances or whether the improvement is just a side effect of old age. In any event, I'm reasonably content day-to-day, not depressed at all, but I'm still alone.

I am interested in hearing from other Avoidants... how is your love life? Your career? Has therapy or medicine been beneficial?



redrobin62
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01 Aug 2012, 8:58 pm

Hi. I have AvPD, too. I quit my nursing job back in February and should be returning to work in a month or two. I'm not in a relationship. I've been using these past few months of freedom to write a book. I'm nearly finished, too. When it comes to social avoidance, I'm extreme. Oh, I do go to the supermarket and the occasional restaurant, and I talked myself into going to see The Avengers, but I basically stay in my little comfort zone writing. I haven't had a full fledged conversation with anyone since February. Bars, nightclubs, social events - not my thing. Aspie meetup groups? Nope. I'm not on therapy but I do take Risperdal for depression. It seems to be working. I know because I'm writing and, at times, watch the Olympics.



justkillingtime
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02 Aug 2012, 1:55 am

I have traits of Asperger's and avoidant personality disorder but not full criteria. I'm probably more mellow as I aged but, like you said, it could be a side effect of getting older. I've always had a problem with depression, although my psychologist says I still am enthusiastic about things.

I was never any good at romance but have a good friend who used to be a boyfriend. I could have done better vocationally and have an absolutely unfulfilling job. I am clueless about how I could have approached romance differently but I certainly could have completed my college degree and maybe felt I made a positive difference vocationally.

Antidepressants never worked for me. An old antipsychotic Stelazine worked nicely but has permanent side effects if used for too many years. Therapy is a long process and costly but beneficial to me. I prefer psychodynamic therapy. It is crucial to get the right therapist. If it is a bad fit, I'm not sure anything good will come from it.

I loved this forum so much I tried to sign up on an avoidant personality disorder forum. It was so different. I had to fill out a long form. It said they had to approve of people and I never heard back. I think someone had a good idea but maybe not enough responders.

There is a lot of information on the web. I frequent Wikipedia. Out of the fog.net is really good but only lets personality disorder people on their forum if they are having a difficult time with someone who has a personality disorder. I guess you have to be a victim of pd and not pd yourself. They have lots of really interesting information, though. Maybe you have already found these sites. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) has information that psychologists and psychiatrists use. Lots of books on Asperger's but only one I could find on avoidant personality disorder: "Distancing" by Martin Kantor. It has been criticised a bit but has some interesting information.

This is the most warm and welcoming site I have found. The most witty, too.



richardbenson
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02 Aug 2012, 5:22 pm

WalkingTheDog wrote:
I scanned the first few pages of this forum and didn't see anything about Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm not surprised. Supposedly we make up to 1-2% of western population but it seems most of us are too shy to post on internet forums.
LOL.

In all honesty I've commited friend sabbatoge with the best of them. this was when I was in school however so I may need to brush up on my APD? I dont know if I have it but If someone wanted to take me to the mall right now, I would decline the offer. today, tomorrow and next week, getting me out to socialize is not going to happen. I like to suntan in the indoors



Raziel
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03 Aug 2012, 12:52 am

I have some traits of it, but we all have traits in our personality of something, that's what makes us all different and special.
It just gets problematic when a trait gets so strong that it gets a disorder.


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auntblabby
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03 Aug 2012, 1:54 am

that is one of my things. what has helped me is my local square pegs aspie meetup group, they have pulled me some of the way out of my shell. it does not help that i live in a very unforgiving area full of bullying yahoos in pickumup trucks.



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03 Aug 2012, 7:21 am

I have traits of it.....but I am not sure I actually have the disorder, or if its more other disorders I have that cause the avoident behavior, it could be the PTSD. Then again even when I was a kid I avoided things out of being too afraid to do them, but yeah I looked up the AVPD and saw some similarities a while back.


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WalkingTheDog
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03 Aug 2012, 2:11 pm

@robin: it's impressive you were able to complete college. I think most of us drop out for various reasons related to our disorder. Best of luck getting the book published.

@time: my library doesn't carry the Kantor book but I think I'll order it. Sounds interesting. I've found a couple of sites with forums dedicated to those with AvPD. The one with the most activity is over at PsychForums. I like this site better though... more activity.

@blabby: I will think about the square pegs meetup, if there is one in my area. To be honest I'd be a little uncomfortable there because I am not autistic. I would feel like a poser. Also I would be twice the age of most of the participants. Or maybe I'm avoidant and I'm just thinking of excuses to get out of going.



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04 Aug 2012, 2:35 am

WalkingTheDog wrote:
@blabby: I will think about the square pegs meetup, if there is one in my area. To be honest I'd be a little uncomfortable there because I am not autistic. I would feel like a poser. Also I would be twice the age of most of the participants. Or maybe I'm avoidant and I'm just thinking of excuses to get out of going.

some thoughts- i am 50% older than every other member of my local meetup group, but i am still made to feel welcome and valued. :) speaking of avoidant, sometimes i have to force myself to get out of bed, get showered and dressed and to get in the car and make the 1 hour+ drive into the next county where the meetups are held at a state college. but i force myself to do it, it makes me feel more powerful than my demons. and there is one non-aspie guy who attends there with his aspie partner, but he surely has some aspie traits in any case :thumleft: you may have salient aspie traits as well. :)

(clicky) here is a place local to your posted location, which might be educational for you



justkillingtime
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04 Aug 2012, 12:55 pm

An inter-library loan is a possibility, also. Good luck with everything.



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04 Aug 2012, 1:51 pm

WalkingTheDog wrote:
I scanned the first few pages of this forum and didn't see anything about Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm not surprised. Supposedly we make up to 1-2% of western population but it seems most of us are too shy to post on internet forums.

I think I was born with AvPD... or at least AvPD tendencies. Let's just say poor parenting and excessive bullying pushed me toward avoidance. I'm a lot better off now than I was 20 years ago; I'm not sure if I've made personal advances or whether the improvement is just a side effect of old age. In any event, I'm reasonably content day-to-day, not depressed at all, but I'm still alone.

I am interested in hearing from other Avoidants... how is your love life? Your career? Has therapy or medicine been beneficial?


You can't be born with AvPD. Personality Disorders are diagnosed in adolescence. Your personality didn't develop to a "normal" standard, hence why it's called a personality disorder, and again, hence why it's diagnosed in adolescence.



Raziel
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04 Aug 2012, 1:55 pm

MightyMorphin wrote:
You can't be born with AvPD. Personality Disorders are diagnosed in adolescence. Your personality didn't develop to a "normal" standard, hence why it's called a personality disorder, and again, hence why it's diagnosed in adolescence.


Well yes, but you can be born with certain avoidant or whatever traits.


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