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Who_Am_I
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06 Aug 2012, 8:31 am

puddingmouse wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
MyFutureSelfnMe wrote:
As long as you're okay with your boyfriend getting sexual satisfaction from other women.


Guy thinks: "My girlfriend can't have penetrative sex unless she has an operation that may destroy her ability to walk. Rather than figure out other ways of giving each other pleasure, I'll just go cheat."
Are all guys really complete dicks? I think not.


And if you think that not all men are complete dicks, then you get called naive or lying to yourself. :roll:


The real explanation is that I have known, over the course of my life, numerous imaginary men.


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puddingmouse
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06 Aug 2012, 8:36 am

^ I think some men perpetuate the 'all men are bastards myth' so they can have an excuse should they act like a bastard, themselves.

I've also noticed that a lot of these men are the first to deride feminists for being 'misandrist'. Projection, much?


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blueroses
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06 Aug 2012, 8:59 am

Reading down through the posts, I can't help but wonder what kind of responses the OP might get if she posed this same question on a forum for people with spinal cord injuries or some other condition that affects ambulation. It's easy for able-bodied people to speculate what we think our ability to walk is worth, but I think our views can only hold so much weight on this one.

For whatever it may be worth, I've worked with adults with physical disabilities for a living for years and have known many who are in loving, committed relationships. Anyone who says the two are mutually exclusive probably just has limited experience with the disability community.

MyFutureSelfnMe wrote:
As long as you're okay with your boyfriend getting sexual satisfaction from other women.


Well, if I were the OP, that comment right there would just cement my feeling the surgery wasn't worth it.



MyFutureSelfnMe
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06 Aug 2012, 11:59 am

You can feel however you want about it, but few guys are going to commit to the rest of their life without penetrative sex. "Pleasuring each other in other ways" works a lot better for women than it does for men. Then again, there might be some.



lostgirl1986
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06 Aug 2012, 12:07 pm

If it was a 50/50 chance then probably not. It's hard to say though because I'm not in your situation but I probably wouldn't risk it.



blueroses
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06 Aug 2012, 12:37 pm

MyFutureSelfnMe wrote:
You can feel however you want about it, but few guys are going to commit to the rest of their life without penetrative sex. "Pleasuring each other in other ways" works a lot better for women than it does for men. Then again, there might be some.


I wouldn't argue with you too much over whether or not your statements are largely accurate, but am saying they are really enough to make someone stop and think. I mean, giving up the ability to walk just to barter for 'love' and affection that may come and go anyway? How sad and screwed up the world really is.

Something no one has mentioned yet is that society tends to view people who use wheelchairs as largely asexual. Awesome advocates like Tiffiny Carlson at http://www.beautyability.com/2.0/about/ are trying to change this, but these sterotypes and misconceptions are still really pervasive. What I'm getting at is that by having the surgery and potentially becoming a wheelchair user for life, there is a chance she could get rejected by a lot of guys who will just assume wheelchair = total inability to have sex. It's kind of a catch 22.



MyFutureSelfnMe
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06 Aug 2012, 12:52 pm

I'm honestly wondering why breaking her pelvis would put her at 50% risk of never walking again, because that doesn't sound right to me, but assuming it's true I wouldn't recommend she do it. I STILL think she should get a second opinion, regardless of how good her dude is.



Ai_Ling
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06 Aug 2012, 2:01 pm

Honestly, the risk of not being able to walk and having an intense recovery time. My gosh, sex is not* worth it, by any means. I mean your ability to walk is very important. What is likely to be more beneficial in life, the ability to walk or the ability to have sex? IMO, the ability to walk. Seriously, if I was in your place, I would not even consider such a drastic surgery.



zeldapsychology
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06 Aug 2012, 7:00 pm

Thanks. :-) My pelvic bone was broken as a baby already so it's a miracle I walk now at 26. It is a 50/50 risk since the surgery would be so intensive he's rebreaking it and reconstructing it of sorts. Hard to explain. So outside of traction there's that risk of not walking ever again. Thanks for all the responses.



MyFutureSelfnMe
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07 Aug 2012, 1:43 am

I'm sorry your situation sucks this hard. Why didn't it heal properly the first time it was broken



zeldapsychology
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07 Aug 2012, 3:54 pm

MyFutureSelfnMe wrote:
I'm sorry your situation sucks this hard. Why didn't it heal properly the first time it was broken


I'm not sure. The way it healed one leg is shorter than the other. Add that in plus Aspie clumsiness plus a bad knee (from a knee injury a few years back) rebreaking the pelvic bone is risky. It healed to the point of being able to walk and I walk fine. A little careful due to clumsiness and the knee nowadays so I'd probably be "Grandma" slow for a long while or the rest of my life after this procedure if it doesn't paralyze me that is.

Otherwise it is healed enough and I walk fine. :-)



CWA
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08 Aug 2012, 12:05 pm

If it would wor out so you could carry a child (and probably birth through a c-section I would imagine, but still) AND you want children then I would go for it. If it is just for the experience, then I would say no. It's not worth it. Not worth the ability to walk. Not by a long shot.



TheTigress
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08 Aug 2012, 3:25 pm

a 50% chance of not being able to walk is serious. It's literally a flip of a coin chance that I personally would never take. I wouldn't do the surgery even if I was offered a million dollars. There's always adoption if you want children and if sex is that big of a priority there are other alternatives to the traditional method. If any future man has a problem with it, then he never loved you enough in the first place.



zeldapsychology
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10 Aug 2012, 10:34 pm

TheTigress wrote:
a 50% chance of not being able to walk is serious. It's literally a flip of a coin chance that I personally would never take. I wouldn't do the surgery even if I was offered a million dollars. There's always adoption if you want children and if sex is that big of a priority there are other alternatives to the traditional method. If any future man has a problem with it, then he never loved you enough in the first place.



Thanks that makes since. Also to the other posters I can't have children so yes it'd be for the "experience" mainly is it as good as all the Oh ah on t.v. LOL! :-) Not worth perhaps being paralyzed. I agree. :-)

Thanks.



PokemonChampionIris
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12 Aug 2012, 2:12 pm

Well, maybe no, but.....S&M does sound rather attractively kinky :oops:

But I could probably live without any type of sex....I dunno if I can say the same for everyone else but.
:wink:

*shrug* Not really something one can judge opon...
:roll:


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FireMinstrel
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14 Sep 2012, 12:37 am

It's your doctor who told you this, right? I'd hate to think your parents conjured that up to keep you from getting pregnant or something...


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