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zeldazonk
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04 Aug 2012, 3:09 am

Hi everyone,

I feel almost constantly anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc etc, but I usually appear calm and fairly expressionless on the outside. I very rarely look distressed - even less now that I've starting taking Lithium.

I feel like there's a wall between me and the rest of the world. I just can't figure out how to express how I feel. Its all trapped inside. When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.

This is extremely frustrating and when I tried to explain it to my partner, he said "I think everyone feels that way." AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! :x

Anyone relate to this trapped feeling?

Best, Zel.


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LittleDarwin
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04 Aug 2012, 6:51 am

Only very rarely for me. In my case a little time helps, but it sounds like you need more... I am posting partly so that you know you aren't completely alone.

Be sure to communicate as well as you can with your therapist since he/she should help. Perhaps this is a sign that lithium is not right for you, or something else. It may help to write down your feelings and sharing it with him/her if you are like me.



Filipendula
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05 Aug 2012, 4:43 am

I wanted to make sure you got at least a few responses too.

zeldazonk wrote:
I feel like there's a wall between me and the rest of the world. I just can't figure out how to express how I feel. Its all trapped inside. When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.


Yes I think I relate to this part very much at times. I've been seeing comments about selective mutism and I begin to wonder if this is similar. There are certain issues which I've bottled inside and I just can't for the life of me verbally communicate any of it to anyone, not even my deeply trusted partner. A few years ago, when I was much less happy than I am now, my partner and I took to discussing things via MSN whilst sitting in the same room, each with a laptop. That worked much better though not perfectly. Have you tried that sort of thing? Of course, there are still some things that are so raw, like you say, that they do literally eclipse the ability to communicate. I don't know what the answer is to that.


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ECJ
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05 Aug 2012, 9:20 am

zeldazonk wrote:
I feel almost constantly anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc etc, but I usually appear calm and fairly expressionless on the outside. I very rarely look distressed - even less now that I've starting taking Lithium.


Yes, I can relate. I've been feeling this way since I came off SSRIs.



TheSunAlsoRises
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05 Aug 2012, 11:20 am

zeldazonk wrote:
Hi everyone,

I feel almost constantly anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc etc, but I usually appear calm and fairly expressionless on the outside. I very rarely look distressed - even less now that I've starting taking Lithium.

I feel like there's a wall between me and the rest of the world. I just can't figure out how to express how I feel. Its all trapped inside. When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.

This is extremely frustrating and when I tried to explain it to my partner, he said "I think everyone feels that way." AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! :x

Anyone relate to this trapped feeling?

Best, Zel.


I call it 'the place'. I think you visited 'the place'.

TheSunAlsoRises



Nymeria8
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05 Aug 2012, 4:51 pm

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
zeldazonk wrote:
Hi everyone,

I feel almost constantly anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc etc, but I usually appear calm and fairly expressionless on the outside. I very rarely look distressed - even less now that I've starting taking Lithium.

I feel like there's a wall between me and the rest of the world. I just can't figure out how to express how I feel. Its all trapped inside. When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.

This is extremely frustrating and when I tried to explain it to my partner, he said "I think everyone feels that way." AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! :x

Anyone relate to this trapped feeling?

Best, Zel.


I call it 'the place'. I think you visited 'the place'.

TheSunAlsoRises


I have a frequent memership card to "the place". I call it that too. I have no idea how to put "the place" into words.


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nrau
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05 Aug 2012, 4:57 pm

It's not a trap, that wall. Wall is a defensive structure.
That's right. Build a wall further. No, a fortress.
Then position archers on the wall and fire at everything that approaches it.
Don't forget to train guards too, just in case something sneaks inside without you noticing.

That's because everything you have is inside and you don't want anyone to take it away, do you?



TheSunAlsoRises
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05 Aug 2012, 6:19 pm

Nymeria8 wrote:
TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
zeldazonk wrote:
Hi everyone,

I feel almost constantly anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc etc, but I usually appear calm and fairly expressionless on the outside. I very rarely look distressed - even less now that I've starting taking Lithium.

I feel like there's a wall between me and the rest of the world. I just can't figure out how to express how I feel. Its all trapped inside. When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.

This is extremely frustrating and when I tried to explain it to my partner, he said "I think everyone feels that way." AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! :x

Anyone relate to this trapped feeling?

Best, Zel.


I call it 'the place'. I think you visited 'the place'.

TheSunAlsoRises


I have a frequent memership card to "the place". I call it that too. I have no idea how to put "the place" into words.


Inner world.

In my humble opinion, you are experiencing, sporadically, what children 'caught in their own worlds' are living on a daily basis. This is the defining characteristic of Aut-ism as it relates to the individual BEFORE we begin listing impairments in three domains:1) socialization 2) communication and 3) behavior.

It might be worth it to watch the whole video BUT i find 5:30 to 5:43 of interest.



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlH5s-XPKm0[/youtube]



TheSunAlsoRises



Matt62
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05 Aug 2012, 6:36 pm

Actually wrote a poem about this on Facebook, titled the "Glass Labyrinth" That is my view of The Place. I can see people but not always reach them..

Matthew



zeldazonk
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06 Aug 2012, 6:32 am

Thanks for all replies. :)

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

Inner world.

In my humble opinion, you are experiencing, sporadically, what children 'caught in their own worlds' are living on a daily basis. This is the defining characteristic of Aut-ism as it relates to the individual BEFORE we begin listing impairments in three domains:1) socialization 2) communication and 3) behavior.

It might be worth it to watch the whole video BUT i find 5:30 to 5:43 of interest.



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlH5s-XPKm0[/youtube]


TheSunAlsoRises


I haven't been able to access ths video. Could you give me the name of it so I can search for it on YouTube maybe? I really think your comparison with the "children 'caught in their own worlds' " is spot on. Thanks for your insight.

Zel.


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Doubutsu
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06 Aug 2012, 12:14 pm

zeldazonk wrote:

When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.


I can only write about what I think/feel because when I talk about it I listen to my voice and it feels weird like if I were lying or someone else were talking, do you feel that way?



TheSunAlsoRises
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06 Aug 2012, 1:44 pm

zeldazonk wrote:
Thanks for all replies. :)

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

Inner world.

In my humble opinion, you are experiencing, sporadically, what children 'caught in their own worlds' are living on a daily basis. This is the defining characteristic of Aut-ism as it relates to the individual BEFORE we begin listing impairments in three domains:1) socialization 2) communication and 3) behavior.

It might be worth it to watch the whole video BUT i find 5:30 to 5:43 of interest.



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlH5s-XPKm0[/youtube]


TheSunAlsoRises


I haven't been able to access ths video. Could you give me the name of it so I can search for it on YouTube maybe? I really think your comparison with the "children 'caught in their own worlds' " is spot on. Thanks for your insight.

Zel.



Hello zeldazonk,

Here is the name of the video: LOCKED-IN SyNDROME
Here is the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... lH5s-XPKm0

Anytime. I appreciate the compliment.

TheSunAlsoRises



zeldazonk
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07 Aug 2012, 12:40 am

Doubutsu wrote:
zeldazonk wrote:

When the emotion isn't too strong I can describe how i feel quite well. That's a purely intellectual thing, and I can't feel and talk at the same time.


I can only write about what I think/feel because when I talk about it I listen to my voice and it feels weird like if I were lying or someone else were talking, do you feel that way?


YES YES YES!
Why is that I wonder?


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philippepetit
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07 Aug 2012, 1:27 am

well meaningful understanding of another person's internal experience is impossible so if you can communicate well enough to get by and express yourself to some degree that's what matters