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periphery
Sea Gull
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04 Aug 2012, 7:29 am

Hi everyone I just joined, I have been around this site a few times in the past because I came to suspect I may be on the spectrum.
I am wondering what is the process of diagnosis? Is there any benefit in getting an official diagnosis?

A bit about me:
I am 31 years old, female. I guess you might say I'm high functioning in that I live independently and I work. I have had some relationships in the past and i have a few close friends. Why do I think I have aspergers?

Well I have always been really awkward socially. I can't seem to fit in with people, any kind of people. I have spent a lot of time trying to study people and figure them out and even though on some level I get the psychology behind their interactions I can't seem to replicate them.

Today I came across this broadcast of a lady that was diagnosed with aspergers as an adult. I listened to the audio and that ladies life sounds quite similar to mine, minus the jail time. I went to a really small primary school where everyone was a bit different so I didn't really realise I was different even though I didn't really click with anyone there either and came out with literally no friends.

In highschool I was eaten alive. I was so naive I just didn't understand stuff or for a long time understand that the problem even was that I didn't understand stuff, I didn't think that I needed to be trying to interact on some kind of socially acceptable level with these people.

When I was 18 it did all dawn on me all the things I"d been doing wrong, and at that point I became quite severely depressed. I'm not going through my whole life story but I"ve spent a lot of time in therapy.
I have been diagnosed with Major Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety disorder, a personality disorder and also Attention Deficit disorder.

Mostly the social anxiety would seem to explain a lot of my problems but in saying that, I don't think I JUST have social anxiety. I definitely do have social anxiety but its more because I'm painfully aware that I dont know how to interact with people . I have met other social anxiety sufferers and they are not like me in that they suffer severe shyness but once u get to know them they're relatively normal people. I am not like this. I am not ''just'' shy (not to say social anxiety is just shy but I mean my experience isn't that I'm very severely shy. Actually people that have known me for a very long time would not describe me as shy at all, I have become more and more shy in the last decade of my life as I have become all to aware that I can't function in groups of people).

In saying that I dont have any special interest. Is that normal? I am just not interested in anything, maybe it's an add thing. I get brief interests /obsessions but they always wear off really quickly (ADD?).

The catalyst for me coming here was that I moved at the start of a year to work full time for the first time in my life (previously received Government support for disability). I thought that once I was in a job I ''wanted'' and was ''interested'' in that everything would be ok. But it's not. It's not the work, it's the people. I can't be around them, I can't gel with them. And with all this constant talk about the need to network I'm terrified I"m going to fail terribly at my late starting career.

Also my mum used to say she thought my dad had some kind of aspergers. Is there a genetic link? It's strange though because I think I can feel empathy for people but often times I struggle trying to understand them. Maybe I have taught myself to be empathetic but it's not a genuine empathy?

I really struggle to accept peoples opinions when they don't follow my own logic. Well it's not accepting so much as that I literally cannot understand them and I feel that my view is 100% logical and rational and that I can't possibly understand how any sane person could not see that or think otherwise. I realise that's kind of obnoxious and I don't mean to be like that but in my mind it seems that way. It's very black and white.

While I live a disordered life I'm ordered in my disorder. I hate surprises. I hate spontaneity. I don't cope with it at all and have been known to fall into a heap when something unanticipated happens.

Ok that's all for now, sorry for blabbering on just wanted to get that all out in the hopes that someone might understand me because my whole life I have yearned to be understood (and accepted) :(



zxy8
Velociraptor
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04 Aug 2012, 7:54 am

You do sound like me in many ways, so that would be aspy. I get brief interests in things, then they wear off. Except for like sport, video games, etc.

There isn't enough evidence to tell if it is genetic or not. There may be, but there is not enough research done.

The way you see thing is how I see things too, though I have been working on that lol.

But basically, a lot of what you say sounds like me, so I would say you would have it, though you would have to be fully tested to find out.



periphery
Sea Gull
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04 Aug 2012, 8:23 am

Thanks for your reply zxy8, do you mind elaborating what parts you can relate to? Can you please tell me how you get diagnosed what was the process for you? IF you do get an official diagnosis what kind of treatment is available?

Edit: Even though I said thanks I just wanted to reassert how great it was to hear that someone actually knows what I feel like! So thanks again for saying you can relate :)



zxy8
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04 Aug 2012, 8:38 am

No worries :) Sure I can :D

Well let’s see. For the relating…well I don’t really fit in much either. The whole socialising thing is a big factor. I’m terrible at that – figuring people out, and all that stuff. I am trying to learn though.

Lot’s of aspy people often have not a high amount of friends. I was the same. This is because people think we are weird and don’t want to hang with us I think. A lot of people in school are jerks, and I didn’t socialise much either.

I have major depression too, so that’s another thing. I’m not sure about the other things as official titles for myself, but I am a very anxious person, and I fit into a lot of those things.

I am not shy around my friends – I’m very out there. But amongst new people and in new situations, I am very shy.

Special interest stuff – I think I mentioned that in my first reply post. Ummmm, but yeah, I lose interest in things quickly too. Maybe your special thing is just something you haven’t thought about yet, or you just don’t realise it.

I don’t really want to be around people also (other than my friends). I am terrified at failing too in the workplace.

Could be a genetic link – though there needs to be more research. I can feel empathy for some people too, but only if I know them. See, if I even think of an animal being hurt, I can cry. Yet when it comes to people, if I hear about a terrorist attack or something like mass death, I do think it is a bad thing, but I don’t feel anything for them emotionally (unless I know them).

I see things as black and white also. If people don’t believe what I do (which is the truth), I truly have no idea how they can. If there is evidence to suggest otherwise, then I will change my opinion. But I am very much like that XD I have been learning to try and understand that my interpretation of an event, may not be how another sees it.

I love order too :D

Well for the diagnosis, here in Australia I had to go to a psychiatrist who officially diagnosed me. First I never even knew I had it until a new friend in late 09 thought I may have it (she has it). I went to the docs, and eventually to a psychologist (don’t go to them). She couldn’t do anything. Basically, I ended up having to go to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me.

Well for treatment, I don’t really get much. I suppose more sessions could occur, therapy stuff like that. I am on medication for “sleep paralysis” – non-related to aspy as far as I know. She upped the dose as it may help with stuff. But I’m not too sure on treatments. Therapy and stuff may be able to help :)

Hope this helps :D



Coastt
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09 Aug 2012, 11:46 pm

Hello everyone on WP. I'm enjoying reading your posts and realizing I'm not the only one.



zxy8
Velociraptor
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10 Aug 2012, 6:36 am

Coastt wrote:
Hello everyone on WP. I'm enjoying reading your posts and realizing I'm not the only one.


Hi :) There are many of us here :D



Lunari
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10 Aug 2012, 1:44 pm

Hello Periphery!

I think the empathy you feel is real empathy, even if you don't understand why. I get that way too; I see that someone feels sad, and I feel sorry that they're sad, and I want to help them, but I often don't understand how to do that, or sometimes even why they're sad in the first place. It can be frustrating, especially when it's someone close to me and I can't help them...

I was diagnosed when I was very young, back in third grade, so I'm not sure about the diagnosis process, but I will say this: being diagnosed has many benifits. Actually having a peice of paper, from an actual expert, saying that you actually have this, can give you a lot more wiggle room.



Coastt
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10 Aug 2012, 10:25 pm

Honestly, I think everyone has something. Mine just happens to be Aspergers.



CockneyRebel
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10 Aug 2012, 11:41 pm

Welkome to WP

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Coastt
Tufted Titmouse
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10 Aug 2012, 11:59 pm

How about some straight talk. I'd like to know how you really feel.