College Roommate-- Bringing up Asperger's

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LunaticOnTheGrass
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06 Aug 2012, 2:40 pm

As above, should I tell my College Roommate that I have Asperger's Syndrome?



thewhitrbbit
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06 Aug 2012, 4:09 pm

I wouldn't.



Delphiki
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06 Aug 2012, 4:20 pm

You could say you have add and or ocd. That would explain away some of your peculiarities or need for certain routines without having to say you have aspergers if you are not open about it.
Those aren't really stigmatized much at all.


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Erminetheawkward
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09 Aug 2012, 10:47 am

I told some of my roommates. They were pretty understanding about it, didn't really bring it up much after the fact. Though for most of the time, I explained my symptoms without saying the "A" (for aspie) word. For example, I would tell them that I tend to get absorbed and hyperfocused on my homework, but it's not a sign that I don't like them. Or I would tell them I'm not good at reading people, so just tell me what I can do. Stuff like that.

In the future, I think it would depend on the roommate. Some seem to attach more stigma to "disorders" than others. Generally speaking, I don't think I'd say anything unless they're studying AS (for example one of my roommates was assigned to make a presentation on autism/AS so I told her about my experience) or if a conflict arises due to misunderstanding of AS traits.


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RubyWings91
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11 Aug 2012, 1:20 pm

If the appropriate opportunity presents itself during a conversation or I did something offensive without realizing it because of my AS, I would tell my roommates. It’s not overly uncommon at the college I am currently attending. Most of the people I have talked to have stated that they have friends or family who has it and there are a number of other students on my campus who I’ve guessed have it without even breaching the subject with them. By the time I’ve gotten around to talking to people about having AS myself, they have often figured it out already.

In general, I would reccomend mentioning your AS at some point but wait for the right opportunity to mention it rather than just throwing the information out there at some random moment.



BookPerson
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12 Aug 2012, 1:21 pm

Interesting quandry. I agree with Ruby that you should wait until the appropriate time.

I have an idea that I hope might help. (I am starting college this year too, by the way, and have pondered this as well.) Even though it didn't occur to me until fairly recently that I have some kind of Asperger's, I was always aware that I was quite different from others - the reasons don't really apply here - and I always felt like others picked up on this rather quickly. My friends, I know, have been aware of this forever and, obviously, don't care. Maybe this is what you should try and do with your roommate. Now, I'm not saying to hint or change your behaviour, but just see if they can pick up on it without you two even needing to talk. But, as is the case so much, just see how things go/how your roommate is.

I hope this helps!



VAGraduateStudent
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14 Aug 2012, 7:45 pm

Why don't you ask someone in your family (preferably a sibling if you have one) if they can think of any aspie habits you have that might be irritating to a roommate or special requirements that maybe you're not thinking of.

I once dated a guy who had an extreme dislike for walking on the floor without shoes on, for example, so it was a problem for him if you accidentally kicked his shoes out of reach of the bed. He might fall out of bed trying to streeeetch his leg out to reach his shoes without touching the floor with his foot. lol

Or my ex-husband liked to play a particular riff of Master of Puppets over and over on his guitar for like an hour, so that was a little hard to live with. The same ex had problems living with me because I'm pretty messy and that made him feel anxious.