I want to know how I can help my woman out?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello all!

I have a woman which is in need for some serious help. She cannot afford to buy food and I think she will get really sick in just a couple of days. I cannot afford helping her out, and I am unemployed since june of this year and I have no new employment reaching for me yet.

She and I are not living together in physical, and at the present her home is in Turkey. I got her home address, telephone number and everything, but I cannot disclosure that on this forum.

I have suggested for her to take contact to the Red Cross because she is need for food, but she says that that doesn't work at the place she is at. Is she lying about this or is it because of her pride which is in the way? She is an american citizen b.t.w. and want to move back to the US this autumn or later if possible, I am not sure what I can do about that issue, but I always help her with with food and for the cost of her apartment rent, and I have been doing this for 3 years now in august.

I feel that I will never leave her, and the goal is for her to be able to, eventually, come here to Sweden and live with me. At the present, she must try and get back to the US because she can get paid jobs over there, which hasn't been possible now when she is living in Turkey.

In short: how can I help her when there is no way that my money is even coming close to what she needs? She has no work permit in Turkey, and at the present she is more angry than afraid, but still believes in me. She says that men are coming up to her and want to... emm... get a more intimate relationship with her so they can help her out, she never, ever, agrees on things like that, but I've explained to her, that if she can find a really nice man in Turkey which don't get intimate with her, I trust her completely so she can live with him during the time I am unemployed here in Sweden, my money is simply not enough for her, our relationship should continue never the less, and I haveto pay my bills and be OK here in Sweden, because that has always top priority, it's very difficult to always have everything working, sometimes it's painful.

I know that this woman is a very nice woman, and she has made me laugh so much, but when she first came to Turkey in december of last year, she has gotten more unhappy as time has gone by, she don't make me laugh any more, all I sense from her is sorrow, still what we feel for each other remains true, but I really need help how I can improve my situation with her.

Some would say that I do way too much for her, and that she is an adult and everything, but it's important to really understand another person deeply, before judging, and that is not always so easy, in my opinion. I've tried hard to understand her life situation, and I've given up a lot for her during these 3 years, and have no regrets.

For security reasons I will not tell you her name or exactly where she lives at the present, but this is a true story and I need your wisdom as to how I can improve my situation and the situation for this woman which is close to my heart. She is my future wife, and we have planned to have children together in the future.

I would really be careful that she's not trying to scam you out of money.

I don't know how you met the woman, or what, but she won't die from going hungry for a few days. I would just leave it for a week and see what happens. If you're really going to send money, just send a small amount like £10, so if she really wants food, she will try and make that last for as many meals as she can.

By the way, Turkish men do love white women. A colleague of mine moaned that when she went to Turkey (she's a tall slim girl, with natural blonde hair) and she kept getting eyed up by Turkish men, and them waggling their finger at her to come over, even when her Turkish boyfriend was right there next to her!

Have you even met this woman? You say she's your future wife, but how do you know you'll even get on OK, being in the presence of eachother?

why is she living in Turkey?

There's a saying: You make your bed, you lay in it. There's obviously a lot more to this woman than meets the eye. People don't just up and leave America out of the blue. Sounds like there's international crimes afoot. I'd stay clear. Sounds dangerous.

Yes, you're suspicion is well understood. She is the only woman I have ever supported like this and it's a very long story. I determined some time ago that she is OK, I have had serious doubts at times, but we have managed to go past those and the best thing is to believe in your partner instead of the other way around, since it makes us both fight about things, and we have had those several times during these 3 years, and I can promise that it wasn't healthy at all. I went for a walk at over 40 kilometres to calm myself down after one of our fights that we had... and the issue was about money.



Yes, she won't get much money from me this month, because I don't got it. Contact with a serious help organisation is what I have been telling her over and over and I'm doing that instead, just so she can feel a bit more safe over there. Safety is very important.



Yes, I can imagine that. From what she told me and from my previous google searches, I know that American women is seen as a easy way to get laid. Hmm... She is not allowed to do things like that, and because of our relationship and our agreement, she must stay faithful, that's the deal, and she always follows this, and I trust her. I don't beleive she want a turkish man as a husband, also. In fact, I have been surprised from the beginning of our relationship that she decided to go for a swedish man and not an American man, because those would be more easier to find, at least when she stayed in the US.



To be 100% honest with you there, in physical we haven't met up yet. At the beginning of our relationship she couldn't leave the US for various reasons, but the US is her home and I would like to go there too some day, with her. Been waiting for this since the day I met her.

When we meet, it will feel like we have already been married, and that is how intense it has been these 3 years, it's not like we have only been chatting, it's been everything you can do with the technology which is available, and... it's a lot. My friends and people who know me have been against our relationship, because it makes it harder for me to have a working life.

The most important thing today, that is that I know what help organisation is serious about helping her out, and so for the Red Cross is the only organisation that I'm aware that could be serious about helping her out, are there other alternatives available in Turkey? Would the local church be OK too, since she believes in god I know it could be something..

Have you spoken on Skype or on the phone? Have you heard her American accent?

If you are sending money, I would suggest you stop. She would understand and still want to be your wife if she was genuine. You need to see what happens if you stop giving her money.

I would ask the same as above, what is she doing in Turkey, if she doesn't have a work permit?

And this is why WrongPlanet gets scammers.
OP, your heart is in the right place and I always like that about people but I would cease contact and payments immediately.

Dude

Your "future wife" is a gang of big burly Nigerian men at an internet cafe in Lagos.

you're never gonna meet "her" in person.

Last edited by naturalplastic on 11 Aug 2012, 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Any American citizen stranded over seas should contact the American Embassy and the U.S. Department of State.

That's exactly what I thought. Like, the b*tch can't do an E.T and phone her homeland?

Well, if she needs to go home (and is from the US), file a police report about a robbery. Then go to the US embassy with the report and plead hardship. They might be able to fly her home and bill her for the ticket later. They have an emergency fund at the embassy Look up the details online to be sure.

You certainly shouldnt be subsidizing her travelling. If she's broke, she's done. Time to go home. It's not unheard of for broke travelling girls to hook up with guys to subsidize their travelling but you arent even there. Tell her to get home and sort her life out (in a nice way). Then you can worry about a relationship.

OP, I don't know if this is a joke or if you're really that naive and oblivious. Have you ever even met this woman in person?

I've always wondered: who are these people that fall for these ridiculous internet scams? I'm not trying to put you down; I feel concern for you as you've allowed your hopes and dreams spawned from loneliness to allow you to believe this BS scam.

It's like text book Internet fraud, wake up dude!

Hey, its okay to raise big doubts in OPs mind (which he already has)........
but please dont rule out entirely that she is for real.

Yes people get horribly scammed, but people also really do form relationships on line.

Both are real.

We need to help him to ask the right questions, help him sort this.

So have you ever seen and heard her live? and for how many hours over these 3 years?
Skype is free.

If you haven't met her in real life yet, how can you say that you are in a "relationship"? Did you meet this person on a website or did they initiate communication with you over email?

This sounds a lot like an internet scam. Have a look at this website: http://www.fbi.gov/scams-safety/fraud/fraud#419

Try to google her name, the address she gave you etc... They might have been used in other internet fraud cases as well.

Stop being a naive and gullible white knight and start being a realist about this. She is exploiting you and using you for your money and when she has leached you for every productive bone you have in your body, she will find the next guy.

I did study law enforcement and security admin in college. Here is my advice for you:

I sincerely hope that this lady friend does not have access to your personal information such as your bank account/credit cards and pin numbers. Something about this sounds too high risk, and without any reward for you whatsoever. That is money that I can assure you will never get back. If this lady has been scamming you all along and you find out about it, I would cancel my bank account and get a new one. Same goes with any credit cards. If there is any other personal information she can use against you like Social Security Number (This is the most important piece of information where I live since it pertains to identity theft) contact the appropriate government department. Don't need to have you feeling paranoid, just some suggestions if you are being scammed.