Must we give a damn what other people think?

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Musicc
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14 Aug 2012, 9:12 am

By that, I don't mean we should purposely annoy people or be rude to them. But it is true that society is shallow and doesn't hesitate to lie about us, speak behind our backs, spread rumors etc. So why try too hard to convince anyone - anyone at all - that you're not all that bad? Is anyone that important?



CyclopsSummers
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14 Aug 2012, 9:23 am

Musicc wrote:
By that, I don't mean we should purposely annoy people or be rude to them. But it is true that society is shallow and doesn't hesitate to lie about us, speak behind our backs, spread rumors etc. So why try too hard to convince anyone - anyone at all - that you're not all that bad? Is anyone that important?


A little bit of context -and motivation behind why you posted this thread- would be appreciated here.

I would agree that those who lie, speak behind others' backs, spread rumours... are not worth that much consideration or explanation on why we behave the way we behave. But there are other people who are understanding and open-minded, and who deserve that explanation.

So that's why I believe it may be valuable for some of us to 'give a damn', since we'll only found out through interacting, which people are sincere and which aren't.

But to take it back to the core, I, for one, would not explain anything to someone who by their very nature are hypocritical malicious backstabbers.


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Chris71
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14 Aug 2012, 9:30 am

Quote:
Must we give a damn what other people think?

Well it depends what you mean by "we" and "other people"

If you mean
"Should we Aspies give a damn what Neurotypicals think about us"?
then I would disagree with the question because I never like to put labels on people or make assumptions about them based on neurological classification. It depends on the person.

or maybe you mean...
"Should an individual give a damn about what another individual thinks about him/her?"
then it depends on the individual, whether their views can be respected.

If some intelligent well respected person who is well known for looking at various different perspectives, doesn't jump to conclusions, and thinks carefully, and he/she thinks that I am an A-hole, then yes I would indeed care a lot.
But if some arrogant, foul-mouthed, unstable, lazy layabout troublemaker suggest that I'm an A-hole, then I wouldn't care a bit.



SteffiTheSmile
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14 Aug 2012, 9:43 am

I don't think we should care, so long as we're not upsetting any one.

I spent my life trying to act normal, to make other people more comfortable, and it destroyed me. Now, thankfully, I've learn't not to care so much.


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14 Aug 2012, 9:52 am

Well I do try to take into consideration the thoughts and (really trying now) the feelings of those I do like and the few friends I have. I want to make sure I don't offend them as while I may not see it as offensive they might

But the general public? Nah I don't really care honestly. I try to be myself (without getting punched out) and those who are 'close' to me will love/like me the way I am

When I've told people about aspergers they have said 'so what your still you and keep it that way' and I do believe those who stand by you through what others perceive as faults are truly friends



Joe90
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14 Aug 2012, 10:10 am

For some of us, it is in our nature to want to fit in and so have to center our lives around what other people think sometimes. Well, I know that's true for me anyway. It's kind of natural for me to worry of what others think of me and I can't suddenly just not care.


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League_Girl
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14 Aug 2012, 10:27 am

Nope I don't care what people think. They can think whatever they want about me. Just as long as they don't spread rumors or lie about me and it doesn't effects me and how others treat me. Also just as long as it won't effect how I am treated.

Okay so if some stranger thought I was a pedophile, I wouldn't care but if everyone or the majority in the neighborhood thought that, I would care because then I be getting harassment and everyone wouldn't be nice to me and I be getting negative attention and hostility. If I moved away and everything was back to normal again, I wouldn't care anymore what they think.

I couldn't care less what the minority thinks. I don't care if I go to work and am unpopular there or what the co workers there think of me or my boss. I am not sure what they think of me but I don't worry about it and don't care.


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14 Aug 2012, 12:47 pm

That depends on whether you own a fully self-sufficient homestead surrounded by a ten foot electric fence or not. I don't, so yes, I have to care what people think.



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14 Aug 2012, 1:47 pm

Nonperson, you're always copying my posts, only posting them before me. :-)

I was just going to write "It depends how much money you have"

LOL


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14 Aug 2012, 1:51 pm

If it's your boss - yes.

The nosy lady at the supermarket? No

It all depends...


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Pompei
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14 Aug 2012, 3:02 pm

To live free you must not let what anyone else thinks diminish your self worth. Do no let anyone get inside you head. If someone does not like you it is their problem; do not make it yours. Obviously there are situations where you must take action to protect yourself from bad consequences but you never need to allow anyone to do psychological damage to you,



TheSunAlsoRises
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14 Aug 2012, 3:19 pm

Pompei wrote:
To live free you must not let what anyone else thinks diminish your self worth. Do no let anyone get inside you head. If someone does not like you it is their problem; do not make it yours. Obviously there are situations where you must take action to protect yourself from bad consequences but you never need to allow anyone to do psychological damage to you,


I concur.

In fact, i suspect for some on the spectrum, it would be futile, anyway. LoL.

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