getting a gf and making friends is impossible

Post Reply New Topic

So I've noticed i've been getting more positive reactions from people lately for some reason.. people arent looking at me like a freak or a loser....
Today at shoprite I had a long conversation wit ha 30-50 yr old woman about the lottery(2 women in fact )
but the main thing this thread is about is that I graduated college today. I took my final exam in one of my classes, and this girl and I finished at the same time....and she is a very attractive girl. So, I've been trying to really work on my social skills and strike up convos with strangers without being a creep or awkward aspie. So I asked her how she did(we have nvr spoken before).
She and I talked all the way to our cars and then talked alittle int he parking lot...when someone else from our class(who ive never spoken to but she has) asked us how we did.....and we talked about our majors, our jobs, powerball lottery...

anyway, we parted our ways, and I will never see them again..this s**t always happens in college....I never make friends...and the sad thing is I've never had a gf, and wanted desperately to as for her number.....I know being friendly doesnt mean she likes me...but an alpha male would have just said screw it and asked.

im gonna call some aspergers groups tomorrow.....now that im done with school I am socially isolated...so it's bittersweet.
oh and i lost the lottery :p

btw why wasnt the forum working just now for me?

This forum has been known to glitch in the past. I thought they worked everything out, though.

no replies on what i said...sigh

You didnt really specify what kind of replies you were expecting to(Most people post a question, your question was why isnt the site working).

One tip that can be helpful for gathering the courage to ask a woman is to make a point to ask all sort of people things. Cant find something at your local supermarket(ask an employee),cant find a street (ask someone), nothing to ask about talk to that old man on the street about how the day looks great/awfull/whatever.
That way it will seem normal to ask a girl for a coffee after the exam for example(much likelier to accept than to give you her number).

yaht thts what ive been doing..tht was actually the point of this post i started the convo with her...and we talked for 15-20 mins...it seems though that it will be impossible for me to mae friends though..ive even talked to people in line at mcdonalds who could be potential friends..but noone is looking for friendships in the market or at mcdonalds!
i hope i meet some cool people at the aspie group who arent too high on the spectrum..im pretty mild.

Congratulations on the successful conversation-
the Aspergers groups sound like a great idea.

thanks ..meh i looked at the site for the aspergers groups and it says they meet one time per month..im really looking for some where i can meet people open to friendships and girls looking for bfs...ive had 0 luck on okcupid or pof lol. I would llike a weekly meetup group..

the reason i have made this thread is that..even though i have been socializing with strangers...ill never make friends because who asks a stranger to hang out..especially if it;s two guys lol i would appear gay lol...and I dont have the guts to ask girls out unless they beg me too which usually doesnt happen.

I used to hang out with a bunch of people from social anxiety support forum, but they began to hate me lol.
I also haven't found anything I liked from meetups.com

i sut dont want to be 25 and still nvr have had a gf.

It takes an enormous effort to force yourself to be social often enough to make gains. And you are not going to be very good at it for a long time. But you are at the ideal age to start the slog. That's when I started anyway.

With a serious effort you'll look back in five years and be amazed at the difference.

OP:

don't get down on yourself for not having friends. I think you did a great job talking to people, especially the girl (because we all know that's hard). Keep putting yourself out there and I'm confident you'll have successful encounters.

Your problem is you're afraid of getting rejected and you're afraid your ego is going to be shattered. Before you do ANYTHING, you need to change your frame. Stop telling yourself stupid sh** like "getting a gf and making friends is impossible". The more you say that to yourself, the more it becomes true because it will vibe off of yourself. The mind is a very powerful thing. Toss the baggage to the curb and start telling yourself positive things about yourself.

From what you're telling me, it doesn't seem like you have a problem connecting with people. In fact, you connect very well. However, most people, especially women, are passive by nature. That means if you want to make new friends or get a girlfriend especially, you need to take charge. You need to take the risk of getting shot down because with greater risk comes greater rewards. All these excuses you are making, such as "noone is looking for friendships in the market or at mcdonalds", are all in your head. Hell, people hook up on the SIDEWALK all the time.

Make a commitment to yourself that you will ask every person that you talk to for a good amount of time if they would like to hang out later. If they say yes, great. If they say no, no big deal. Would you want to hang out with them anyways if they don't feel like you're worth the time? The truth is they're not worth YOUR time if they don't want to hang out.

This is the EXACT problem that im running into. I just transferred to a university, and just cant seem to make any social progress. it scares me s**tless and frustrates me to no end What do i do?