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dc22
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17 Aug 2012, 9:16 pm

Hey guys.. so an intro of sorts..

Recently I've been struggling as to what's been causing my social issues for almost 10 yrs now (I'm 20 ATM).

I had a 2 yr episode of severe suicidal tendencies couple years back. Did some half hearted attempts which failed, never told anyone about it. Anyway this hasn't been much of a problem since then, until recently when I have started the clinical phase of medical school. The compulsory 9-5 daily social interaction is really getting to me and I don't quite know what to do about it.

I've narrowed it down to either Aspergers, depression, gender identity disorder (female bodied but male brained), or a combination of all three. It's rather amazing how much these three things intersect symptoms-wise. I don't even know what's causing the discomfort - having to dress in female formal wear, having to talk to endless strangers about feelings/other mushy stuff, or simply the fact that I have always hated medicine but was forced into it by my parents.

I do have some pretty typical AS symptoms like inability to read or give social cues, rarely having any emotion, cant tolerate even low level noise/light, prefer being alone etc.. just spent 1 month summer holidays in my room 98% of the time, with 0 social contact except going out to buy weekly food stocks.

I just feel so trapped. I thought of going to see a GP but chickened out.. my course ends in under 2 years and I will then have to go back to my country (I'm an international student) which doesn't really recognise these sorts of issues.. so a bit worried at how I'm going to cope later if I start something now

Sorry for the long rant.. just had to get it out



cathylynn
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17 Aug 2012, 9:28 pm

aspie ex-doctor here. i found all the social interaction very draining and it affected my work. i mostly squeaked by. i now work in a "people" field, but part-time. i like people, but need my alone time to recharge. have you thought about pathology or radiology as specialties?



dc22
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17 Aug 2012, 9:52 pm

cathylynn wrote:
aspie ex-doctor here. i found all the social interaction very draining and it affected my work. i mostly squeaked by. i now work in a "people" field, but part-time. i like people, but need my alone time to recharge. have you thought about pathology or radiology as specialties?


I have yes, did quite a lot of additional pathology studies but didn't like it. Currently due to start an imaging mini project next week.. Radiology's the only thing I think I could tolerate, especially being in a room with minimal light and sound is great :) Did try reading a book on the basics.. it's harder work than I thought XD

I am under a scholarship bond contract thing so don't have an option to quit unfortunately.. else I'd be in computer programming right now

Yeah the interactions are very draining, found myself avoiding the wards for weeks on end, preferring instead to sit in clinics as its 2-3 other people rather than 20 others.. and I can watch silently from a corner instead of constantly feeling obligated to harass patients and getting in nurses' way.

Glad to hear you've found a job that suits you. If you don't mind me asking, does the job involve using knowledge from the medical degree?



questor
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17 Aug 2012, 10:04 pm

Hi DC22! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. Can't tell if you are on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum from what little you described of your traits, but it is possible. Go to the General Autism forum here. There are a number of post articles there with links to online tests you can take to get a better idea of your condition.

I agree with Cathylynn that you should look into the less people oriented branches of medicine. In addition to the ones she mentioned, there is also research.

Another thing you need to consider is to dump medicine and go into a career of your own choosing. Once you are an adult you get to choose your own future. Unfortunately, parents tend to forget that, and sometimes treat their grown young kids as property, or as an extension of themselves. You should never have allowed yourself to be bullied into studying medicine. Your parents don't own you. If they are unwilling to help you pay for a different field of study, you can still get a job to earn money to pay for a college program that YOU want to study. It will take longer that way, but it's your future, and your life, not your parent's.



dc22
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17 Aug 2012, 10:18 pm

questor wrote:
Hi DC22! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. Can't tell if you are on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum from what little you described of your traits, but it is possible. Go to the General Autism forum here. There are a number of post articles there with links to online tests you can take to get a better idea of your condition.

I agree with Cathylynn that you should look into the less people oriented branches of medicine. In addition to the ones she mentioned, there is also research.

Another thing you need to consider is to dump medicine and go into a career of your own choosing. Once you are an adult you get to choose your own future. Unfortunately, parents tend to forget that, and sometimes treat their grown young kids as property, or as an extension of themselves. You should never have allowed yourself to be bullied into studying medicine. Your parents don't own you. If they are unwilling to help you pay for a different field of study, you can still get a job to earn money to pay for a college program that YOU want to study. It will take longer that way, but it's your future, and your life, not your parent's.


Thanks for the advice :)
I did take that AQ test about 5 years back when I first suspected it, came out at 31 (just below AS threshold). Just redid it now and got 35.. so pretty borderline.. as I feel answers to the questions about social situations severity are influenced by my other issues as well

I so wish I could dump medicine.. Unfortunately the binding contract with the government sponsor was signed when I was 15, legally a child, so I couldn't really have avoided it. Believe me I did try to protest with screaming and crying fits on at least 3 separate times (whnever the issue was mentioned) but to no avail. I can break the contract and fund my own course but my parents will get the fine of £300k damages. They can afford it, but I don't have the heart to do it to them. :/



antifeministfrills
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18 Aug 2012, 11:34 am

Welcome :)



CockneyRebel
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19 Aug 2012, 6:18 pm

Welkome to WP

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