Using my name at the end of a sentence

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yellowtamarin
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21 Aug 2012, 7:09 pm

Sometimes when people use my name when talking to me or writing to me, it feels odd. A bit creepy or condescending or otherwise not comfortable. I never really understood why, and in particular why it was only when certain people said it, or in a certain way.

I think I have partly figured it out - when someone uses my name at the end of a sentence, it rubs me the wrong way. It happens mostly in online communication, but I think it has the same effect when said verbally. And I think the issue is that it sounds/feels like some kind of power trick, using someone's name like that kind of suggests confidence and dominance.

E.g. I react differently to these two sentences (name changed to Mary):

"Hey Mary, I hope you have had a good day. I look forward to chatting to you again :)"
"I hope you have had a good day. Look forward to chatting to you again Mary :)"

The second one is a message I received today, as an online message. It creeps me out a little.

Is this an entirely odd thing for me to feel weird about? I think so! :lol:



mds_02
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21 Aug 2012, 7:23 pm

I think I know what you mean.

At the beginning of a sentence, it sounds more natural. Your first example sounds normal, the way a friend would talk to you.

At the end of a sentence, it sounds like the use of the name is an afterthought. Like the speaker is reminding themselves to use your name. It sounds like the way a salesman would talk to you.


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yellowtamarin
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21 Aug 2012, 7:33 pm

mds_02 wrote:
It sounds like the way a salesman would talk to you.

Yes, that's it.



OliveOilMom
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21 Aug 2012, 7:49 pm

It depends on the tone I'm trying to convey as to when I use the name.

"Mary, what are you doing?" means I'm trying to get your attention to ask you a question.

"What are you doing Mary?" means I'm trying to get your attention to stop you doing something with a bad outcome.

The name at the end of the sentence is more aggressive and tends to kind of stop people for a second.


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ghoti
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21 Aug 2012, 9:40 pm

Putting the name first does get my attention better so i can hear the rest of the sentence. If used last, i may not know they are directing it to me and might have zoned out the rest of the sentence.



birchbark
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21 Aug 2012, 10:06 pm

I've always thought it sounds kind of aggressive when the name is at the end of the sentence; not sure why though.



Mindsigh
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22 Aug 2012, 8:59 am

When I read the thread title, I wondered if your name was Period. :?



yellowtamarin
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22 Aug 2012, 9:19 am

Mindsigh wrote:
When I read the thread title, I wondered if your name was Period. :?

That would be rather unfortunate. :tongue: