Using my name at the end of a sentence

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

21 Aug 2012, 7:09 pm

Sometimes when people use my name when talking to me or writing to me, it feels odd. A bit creepy or condescending or otherwise not comfortable. I never really understood why, and in particular why it was only when certain people said it, or in a certain way.

I think I have partly figured it out - when someone uses my name at the end of a sentence, it rubs me the wrong way. It happens mostly in online communication, but I think it has the same effect when said verbally. And I think the issue is that it sounds/feels like some kind of power trick, using someone's name like that kind of suggests confidence and dominance.

E.g. I react differently to these two sentences (name changed to Mary):

"Hey Mary, I hope you have had a good day. I look forward to chatting to you again :)"
"I hope you have had a good day. Look forward to chatting to you again Mary :)"

The second one is a message I received today, as an online message. It creeps me out a little.

Is this an entirely odd thing for me to feel weird about? I think so! :lol:



mds_02
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,077
Location: Los Angeles

21 Aug 2012, 7:23 pm

I think I know what you mean.

At the beginning of a sentence, it sounds more natural. Your first example sounds normal, the way a friend would talk to you.

At the end of a sentence, it sounds like the use of the name is an afterthought. Like the speaker is reminding themselves to use your name. It sounds like the way a salesman would talk to you.


_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain, 
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again. 
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
And it feels pretty soft to me. 

Modest Mouse - The View


yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

21 Aug 2012, 7:33 pm

mds_02 wrote:
It sounds like the way a salesman would talk to you.

Yes, that's it.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

21 Aug 2012, 7:49 pm

It depends on the tone I'm trying to convey as to when I use the name.

"Mary, what are you doing?" means I'm trying to get your attention to ask you a question.

"What are you doing Mary?" means I'm trying to get your attention to stop you doing something with a bad outcome.

The name at the end of the sentence is more aggressive and tends to kind of stop people for a second.


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


ghoti
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2012
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,596

21 Aug 2012, 9:40 pm

Putting the name first does get my attention better so i can hear the rest of the sentence. If used last, i may not know they are directing it to me and might have zoned out the rest of the sentence.



birchbark
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 108
Location: Southern US

21 Aug 2012, 10:06 pm

I've always thought it sounds kind of aggressive when the name is at the end of the sentence; not sure why though.



Mindsigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,272
Location: Ailleurs

22 Aug 2012, 8:59 am

When I read the thread title, I wondered if your name was Period. :?



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

22 Aug 2012, 9:19 am

Mindsigh wrote:
When I read the thread title, I wondered if your name was Period. :?

That would be rather unfortunate. :tongue: