Anyone else here who is extremely non-social?

Post Reply New Topic

You know the Myers & Briggs personality scale of Extroversion and Introversion? Most NT’s fall in the middle, where as most people on the autism spectrum probably fall much closer to the introversion side; some are extreme introverts like you (and me) who don’t ‘require’ social interaction to be happy. Some autistics have been taught we must seek out human interaction to be happy – this is a learned behavior in my belief.

The ‘little to no eye contact’ thing many of us share (it can be practiced away, but the feeling of not wanting to look at people’s faces is still there) – this, at least for me, is because my dominant ‘eyes’ in conversation are my ears. I prefer to listen rather than look when people talk to me. I have a hard time hearing everything people tell me if I’m forced to stare at them. It must be due to the extra-stimulus my eyes inflict on my brain over all my other senses.

Like you, I don’t seek out interaction, and prefer to be self-reliant. However, if I have a pressing issue I can’t seem to close on my own, I look to others (usually online) for help. The problems I always run into are:
(1) new people rarely get answered in forums (and I am always new because I don’t seek out conversation till I have a question I can’t answer on my own)
(2) new people need to contribute to the forum in order to quiet the “I’m not a bot, hacker, phisher, or anything nefarious” suspicions.
(3) new people don’t always know the ‘lay of the land’ in new forums, so we must read all the various rules and figure out where the appropriate page to post the question (then reread them after a few months of not visiting just to refresh)
(4) once the new person posts a few things, we wonder how much time needs to go by and how many posts do I need to contribute before I will get the answers I seek?

Even if we just wanted to talk about one subject, we feel forced to post other things so we don’t look selfish. I don’t consider myself selfish – just a bit on the efficient side when it comes to being social. I’d prefer to get in and get out – just like at the grocery store. I have a list of items I want, I get them, pay, and leave. I wish it were like that in forums.

I am just like you OP. But i have lot of questions since i dont live alone i am responsible for a 8 year old kid and husband plus lot of household responsibilities.
People usually dont talk with me, they dont befriend me i dont understand how to deal with job, household chores and kid
so i find this site very useful and handy.
without support i cant survive actually i also need a mentor because i find it hard to navigate the social world
and without correct guidance i would be lost out there.

“I was born free, and that I might live in freedom I chose the solitude of the fields; in the trees of the mountains I find society, the clear waters of the brooks are my mirrors, and to the trees and waters I make known my thoughts and charms. I am a fire afar off, a sword laid aside. Those whom I have inspired with love by letting them see me, I have by words undeceived, and if their longings live on hope—and I have given none to Chrysostom or to any other—it cannot justly be said that the death of any is my doing, for it was rather his own obstinacy than my cruelty that killed him; and if it be made a charge against me that his wishes were honourable, and that therefore I was bound to yield to them, I answer that when on this very spot where now his grave is made he declared to me his purity of purpose, I told him that mine was to live in perpetual solitude, and that the earth alone should enjoy the fruits of my retirement and the spoils of my beauty; and if, after this open avowal, he chose to persist against hope and steer against the wind, what wonder is it that he should sink in the depths of his infatuation? If I had encouraged him, I should be false; if I had gratified him, I should have acted against my own better resolution and purpose. He was persistent in spite of warning, he despaired without being hated. Bethink you now if it be reasonable that his suffering should be laid to my charge. Let him who has been deceived complain, let him give way to despair whose encouraged hopes have proved vain, let him flatter himself whom I shall entice, let him boast whom I shall receive; but let not him call me cruel or homicide to whom I make no promise, upon whom I practise no deception, whom I neither entice nor receive. It has not been so far the will of Heaven that I should love by fate, and to expect me to love by choice is idle. Let this general declaration serve for each of my suitors on his own account, and let it be understood from this time forth that if anyone dies for me it is not of jealousy or misery he dies, for she who loves no one can give no cause for jealousy to any, and candour is not to be confounded with scorn. Let him who calls me wild beast and basilisk, leave me alone as something noxious and evil; let him who calls me ungrateful, withhold his service; who calls me wayward, seek not my acquaintance; who calls me cruel, pursue me not; for this wild beast, this basilisk, this ungrateful, cruel, wayward being has no kind of desire to seek, serve, know, or follow them. If Chrysostom's impatience and violent passion killed him, why should my modest behaviour and circumspection be blamed? If I preserve my purity in the society of the trees, why should he who would have me preserve it among men, seek to rob me of it? I have, as you know, wealth of my own, and I covet not that of others; my taste is for freedom, and I have no relish for constraint; I neither love nor hate anyone; I do not deceive this one or court that, or trifle with one or play with another. The modest converse of the shepherd girls of these hamlets and the care of my goats are my recreations; my desires are bounded by these mountains, and if they ever wander hence it is to contemplate the beauty of the heavens, steps by which the soul travels to its primeval abode.”

Surfman,that was AWESOME!.

Asocial since 15 years old. 18 now and still going asocial at over 19. I don't see the point of people.

I'm extremely non-social. Often people told me it's not good for mental health to interrupt any liaison with people around.
I wonder if this could drive to insanity?