I am new here.
I have been wondering for a long time if I have very mild Asperger's,
very mild ADHD, HSP (high sensitive person), or am neurotypical introvert?
I am in my 50's and female.
Have a good job, a good long term committed relationship, hobbies I enjoy
but just want to know myself better
If you know the Myers Briggs test I score as INFJ: used to score INTJ until later
in life when I got more in touch with my feelings and accepted being more emotional.
I don't seem to fit either the criteria for Asperger's OR ADHD yet seem to some traits of both.
Or maybe I am neurotypical with just a few non-neurotypical traits?
I was wondering what people think the following sounds more like?
I am sorry this email is so long.
Traits that I have:
- I love to hyperfocus and get REALLY wrapped up in things.
It's a need of mine.
I am
constantly reading whenever I am not doing anything else.
As a computer programmer, in fact I MUST be able to hyperfocus
in order to perform well at my job, and I am good at it.
- I actually don't like working with computers that much: in later years, I
have started to prefer more to work with my hands: computers to me, have
started to feel kind of "cold" and mechanical and abstract.
- I am bright although not brilliant
- My reading is sometimes used as a filter in order to 'relax"
at home after a day out with people. I always have a book in my hand whenever
it is socially accepted to do so.
- I need a lot of time alone: but I enjoy being with people too:
just need time "off" from them to "recharge".
- I have trouble looking people in the eye: it kind of makes me feel invaded:
but as an adult I have learned to mask this. What is strange is I don't have trouble
looking pets (my cats) in the eye just people.
- I have strong interests (although not narrow ones: I am curious about a lot of different
things)
- I always like to keep busy, am always doing something: hard to stop and just BE.
- I always have multiple projects going. But I am on task, finish things, concentrate well.
- I have trouble listening for a long time unless my hands or body are active.
- I sometimes have trouble knowing when someone has finished speaking or just paused:
and if I judge wrongly I start to talk when they are not done. But I know the rule, immediately
realize I should not have interrupted and why.
-I have a strong startle response: when someone surprises me from behind I jump.
My mother and brother have this too so I know it is not PTSD but something hardwired.
- A few people who themselves had Asperger's have wondered if i had it.
- People who had ADHD have wondered if I had it
- Neurotypical people not familiar with either either say that I am nervous, and should relax,
or else don't feel there is anything unusual about me
- When I am around people with either Asperger's or ADHD, I feel a kind of mental 'click"
as if we spoke a common language.
- I tend to send multiple emails especially in arguments: have trouble letting go of the desire
to prove my point or to clarify things exactly: have lost friends because of this. Am working
on letting go of the desire to do this, and send briefer and fewer letters.
- I am very verbal: the length of this email is an example (sorry if too long).
- I am talkative but also shy. People often do not know I am shy because I am talkative
- Very sensitive to criticism: when as a child someone called me a name, it felt like being
hit in the stomach. As an adult I have learned to mask this.
-I come across as a computer nerd
- hard to switch gears when, at work, I get interrupted when I am
deeply focused
- I don't like rules: I am independent and like to think for myself
- I understand nonverbal social cues, I feel in sync with people, understand their motives, can
easily guess what they are feeling. I have been told except for the interrupting,
I have normal social skills and should not worry about this so much, although not excellent or outstandingly
good ones.
- I don't have issues with sensory overload although I prefer a quiet peaceful environment
-In addition to programming, I love to write poetry, and am exploring different forms of art
although not talented in it
- I stay on task, finish things, can focus.
- I like to work with my hands and be creative
- I love exploring new topics and learning new things
- I like being spontaneous, enjoy a lot of variety and need change in my life:
I used to move to a different apartment every 3 years until I bought my curren home
- But it irritates me when people change plans on me: i don't get upset I am just irritated,
but then I adjust.
A final trait:
My very desire to ruminate and even enjoy wondering what category (if any), I fit into or don't fit into.
PeaceWalker
22 Aug 2012, 10:16 pm
