Do other Aspie girls ask guys out?

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WantToHaveALife
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12 Nov 2012, 7:40 pm

f**k gender roles!



Cafeaulait
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14 Nov 2012, 3:21 pm

I wouldn´t dare.



myth
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15 Nov 2012, 10:55 am

I've "asked out" (or been the first to confess attraction to or whatever else you want to call it) almost every guy I've ever liked. Which is about .. uh.. 6 people?


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18 Nov 2012, 3:19 pm

I DO ask guys out. And I read this wonderful book about dating rules called "Dating Mr Darcy", in which is clearly stated that a girl should not ask a guy out, but merely give him a nod, wink or other encouraging sign to approach to her.

The author says that most guys in general love the phase of hunting. If you rob Him of it, He will feel LESS agitated and motivated in dating you.

A guy needs to have the feeling that you are hard to get, even if you are not. He must think that he is the hunter. Because if he must hunt for something and if it is not easy to get, then it is a sign for him it has a WORTH and that it is worth fighting for it.

The author also says that you should not play hard to get or be slu*ty. Just progress slowly. That´s what she says.


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Boxman108
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18 Nov 2012, 3:45 pm

SoftKitty wrote:
I DO ask guys out. And I read this wonderful book about dating rules called "Dating Mr Darcy", in which is clearly stated that a girl should not ask a guy out, but merely give him a nod, wink or other encouraging sign to approach to her.

The author says that most guys in general love the phase of hunting. If you rob Him of it, He will feel LESS agitated and motivated in dating you.

A guy needs to have the feeling that you are hard to get, even if you are not. He must think that he is the hunter. Because if he must hunt for something and if it is not easy to get, then it is a sign for him it has a WORTH and that it is worth fighting for it.

The author also says that you should not play hard to get or be slu*ty. Just progress slowly. That´s what she says.


Sounds like a pretty stupid author to me. To say that it is the same for every single male out there is really absurd. Besides that, it only encourages objectifying women even more so than they have been. Maybe it's like that more often for NTs, or even some with AS, but I really don't see the point of this "hunting" thing. You should not look at someone else as a prize or put them on a pedestal or say that any one person has more or less worth than another. That kind of thinking is very ugly and selfish and shallow to me.


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18 Nov 2012, 4:08 pm

Boxman108 wrote:
SoftKitty wrote:
I DO ask guys out. And I read this wonderful book about dating rules called "Dating Mr Darcy", in which is clearly stated that a girl should not ask a guy out, but merely give him a nod, wink or other encouraging sign to approach to her.

The author says that most guys in general love the phase of hunting. If you rob Him of it, He will feel LESS agitated and motivated in dating you.

A guy needs to have the feeling that you are hard to get, even if you are not. He must think that he is the hunter. Because if he must hunt for something and if it is not easy to get, then it is a sign for him it has a WORTH and that it is worth fighting for it.

The author also says that you should not play hard to get or be slu*ty. Just progress slowly. That´s what she says.


Sounds like a pretty stupid author to me. To say that it is the same for every single male out there is really absurd. Besides that, it only encourages objectifying women even more so than they have been. Maybe it's like that more often for NTs, or even some with AS, but I really don't see the point of this "hunting" thing. You should not look at someone else as a prize or put them on a pedestal or say that any one person has more or less worth than another. That kind of thinking is very ugly and selfish and shallow to me.


funny that i read the same exact thing softkitty posted, but from the perspective of the opposite sex

they keep trying to offer advice for how to make one's self more appealing to the other sex because someone is trying to get a date from a person they believe to be of better quality. which means nothing for people who are looking for a realistic companion for a relationship and not a bar hookup

the whole concept is the same as achievement points in video games. their goal is to let you brag to others about getting the really tough achievements. i just want to beat the game and get on with life.



WantToHaveALife
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19 Nov 2012, 4:40 pm

ManicDan wrote:
Boxman108 wrote:
SoftKitty wrote:
I DO ask guys out. And I read this wonderful book about dating rules called "Dating Mr Darcy", in which is clearly stated that a girl should not ask a guy out, but merely give him a nod, wink or other encouraging sign to approach to her.

The author says that most guys in general love the phase of hunting. If you rob Him of it, He will feel LESS agitated and motivated in dating you.

A guy needs to have the feeling that you are hard to get, even if you are not. He must think that he is the hunter. Because if he must hunt for something and if it is not easy to get, then it is a sign for him it has a WORTH and that it is worth fighting for it.

The author also says that you should not play hard to get or be slu*ty. Just progress slowly. That´s what she says.


Sounds like a pretty stupid author to me. To say that it is the same for every single male out there is really absurd. Besides that, it only encourages objectifying women even more so than they have been. Maybe it's like that more often for NTs, or even some with AS, but I really don't see the point of this "hunting" thing. You should not look at someone else as a prize or put them on a pedestal or say that any one person has more or less worth than another. That kind of thinking is very ugly and selfish and shallow to me.


funny that i read the same exact thing softkitty posted, but from the perspective of the opposite sex

they keep trying to offer advice for how to make one's self more appealing to the other sex because someone is trying to get a date from a person they believe to be of better quality. which means nothing for people who are looking for a realistic companion for a relationship and not a bar hookup

the whole concept is the same as achievement points in video games. their goal is to let you brag to others about getting the really tough achievements. i just want to beat the game and get on with life.


i hate that woman author



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19 Nov 2012, 5:06 pm

ManicDan wrote:
funny that i read the same exact thing softkitty posted, but from the perspective of the opposite sex

they keep trying to offer advice for how to make one's self more appealing to the other sex because someone is trying to get a date from a person they believe to be of better quality. which means nothing for people who are looking for a realistic companion for a relationship and not a bar hookup

the whole concept is the same as achievement points in video games. their goal is to let you brag to others about getting the really tough achievements. i just want to beat the game and get on with life.


This is why, in general, I am not particularly fond of advice from books that ascribe specific gender roles to dating. I think getting into a relationship should be a mutual decision by two people, but someone usually has to make their intentions or aspirations for that relationship known - I'm OK with that being me, as a girl, as long as I have taken some time to get to know the person a little (since I don't base my decisions in the dating arena on appearance - hence I must have a little background on the person first). I'd be OK with a guy letting me know he is interested, don't get me wrong, but it is certainly not a rule.

I still think it is great that there are so many Aspie girls who will ask guys out - after all, the worst that can happen is that they will say they are not interested, which gives you the green light to move on and get to know someone new. :) All part of the fun of life.



WantToHaveALife
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05 Dec 2012, 3:24 am

most women still never initiate unfortuneately :x



Teasaidh
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01 Jul 2013, 12:26 am

I liked a guy I worked with a few years ago, so I asked him out. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is in October.


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01 Jul 2013, 1:23 am

I used to ask guys out when I was younger, but I kept getting rejected. Now I just hope to get asked out and try to give (what I think are) really obvious hints to guys I like.