Lack of confidence or overconfidence?

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To put it in as few words as possible, my confidence is lacking in social situation and way above average in more "intellectual" things like work and education.

Now, to put it in as many words as possible:

For example, I rarely speak to people unless we see each other every day and even then, only after we have known each other for a few months. The only explanation I can think of is that I have no idea of what to talk about and I fear most of what I have to say is not worth saying. This leads to things like never keeping in touch with friends from school or previous jobs unless they initiate the conversation. Also, it results in extreme loneliness for me, not to mention zero experience in romantic relationships.

On the other hand, I am very confident about things requiring only my knowledge to work. For example, I will be a CPA soon. Here in my country, we have to do a test to receive our license. Despite the test having an approval rating of only 30%, I am not studying for it, because I know for sure I will pass. I did the same to enter the school where I got my accounting technician certification and I was placed third out of about 300 applicants (with only 40 vacancies). The same applie to jobs; when I was called for the interview to get my current job, I told everyone I knew that I was probably already hired. And hired I was.

I believe this is related to the multiple intelligence theory (supposing it is true). I am almost ret*d when it comes to interpersonal intelligence, but my linguistic and logical-mathematical skills are above average.

Does anybody else have the same problem? I am not sure it is related to Asperger's syndrome, therefore, I do not know if this is the right place to post this.

This sounds similar to how I am. When I first started the job I have, I was very quiet for the first month. This was because I needed to "learn" the people I was around before I knew how to interact. However, engage me in a subject I am knowledgeable in (auto mechanics, nuclear war, economics, politics, religion etc.) and I won't shut up. Likewise, my speech patterns are usually VERY formal and pedantic. I also have an expansive vocabulary which I use regularly. This means that I use words that are perfectly legitimate for the way I use them but that people who do not read as much technical material as me have rarely come into contact with. Thus, they think I am talking down to them. I don't even realize I am doing it as I am just using the words as they come to my mind. To do otherwise takes much more effort and makes it much harder for me to communicate.

Well, I'm much better at talking to people than I was even four or five years ago, but that's because I got over the fear that most of the things I have to say aren't worth saying. This is because I realized that most things I say aren't worth saying, but I say them anyway because I'm supposed to talk to people. Plus, since that's what I'm supposed to do, it is worth saying because it's worth doing. The hardest part is knowing what is worth saying and what isn't worth saying, selecting from mostly things that aren't worth saying in the first place. It sounds confusing, but it's not really. The more I think before I speak, the harder it is, since there is no right thing to say in most instances. I just have to make sure not to say something stupid. It took me a few tries to learn what was stupid and what wasn't stupid when selecting from mostly stupid things to say. Most conversation is just acknowledging what everybody already knows and thinks. Saying what someone doesn't think is stupid. I had to learn how to be psychic, and then I had to learn how to pretend to be psychic as well as actually be psychic.

Oh, and by the way, in case you are wondering, my intellectual skills have declined as well. I don't know if there is a direct parallel, but there is definitely a parallel to some degree.

I'd like to develop some more social skills if I can, but NOT at the expense of my mathematical, logic and problem-solving talents! Rather, I want them to work WITH these talents to get a job, or otherwise make money. Plus, working with the talents will tend to net me friends who I genuinely enjoy talking to, even if only 10% as many as most people have. I'd rather have one good friend than 100 acquaintances - and the former is also less draining!

I can see how you can say things even if they aren't really worth saying - which can help with social confidence - because NT's do this A LOT. Way too much, in my opinion. But I can also see doing this some, to break the ice.

If there really is a correlation between social and rational thinking, I think it would be wiser for me to keep my antisocial tendencies. I am fairly young and poor, therefore, it is best if I can grow professionally instead of ruining it all by trying to get rid of my loneliness (which will probably go away as I get used to it, anyway).

On the other hand, there is always the risk of becoming a real life Ebenezer Scrooge. Maybe I should find a balance between small talk and logical thinking, but how can I do that?

P.S.: That last question was a rhetorical question.

I lack confidence in all areas I think, socially and intellectually. Through school the teachers used to say that I need more confidence in my work, so I take it that it was from lack of confidence which was why my grades weren't very good. Spanish actually became my special interest at one time, but I still didn't do so well in Spanish classes as the other children did, and most of them were just average, while the brighter ones did extremely well and passed every test. Not sure if it's because I lacked confidence, or if I'm just a rare Aspie who is very uneraverage with intelligence.