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Cfroi
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 23 Jul 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 150
Location: Hong Kong

26 Aug 2012, 4:16 pm

There are lots of things running in my head where I struggled so much. I am dependent on others to speak on any daily activities, but when it's my turn, I just stucked.

A group of my colleagues, about 9 ppl, went to eat buffet yesterday near my home. When they are using group what's app to communicate, I misunderstand their meaning. since they are coming from different districts to mine, they usually take metros. They chatted on the what's app on how to come here. I immediately told them to walk from bla bla bla to what bla bla bla. But I find that I am wrong. Because, what I told is how I go there from my direction, no from metros. I re-read the messages again... And stucked there... Because I don't know how to give them correct answer. But I am supposed to know... Since i am living here. No wonder my message become the conversation killer...

And when we finished buffet, we tried to go around. People start asking where to where and searching karaok or cafe or bus to and from the district I am living at. They find that.... I am very unsure of everything... Especially they ask what cafe I can suggest? And what bus we can take to leave. I just stucked.... Hhhhhurrrrr?

*what I think*
I lived here and know where to take bus to work and know how to go to places I know. But for cafe or buses I didn't go recently or frequently. I have no idea in immediate sense. Yes, I lived here, but your questions give me a big shock on what I actually know and what I should know

*what happened next*
We changed the location to have fun and eventually reached one cafe restaurant to just have some chats. I find that I was nearly completely muted because I am so stupid to others.

*what I concluded from this situation*
First, I was unable to think in other people's shoe, no matter how hard I tried.
Second, I self diagnosed myself have asperger or at least have very close to asperger spectrum.
Third, I was trying very hard to have solve my problem recently, including (i) get expensive counseling from psychiatrist without any subsidy (but I can afford). (ii) join voluntary works (iii) seek assistant work in children worship activity in my church
Fourth, I start to allow myself aware I am different, having different *frequency* of mindset.

*what advice I expected here*
- should I enjoy the event? Am I wrong to be not feel enjoyable on it? How could I at least appeared to be more *into* on those *happy* events. I know this question is stupid. But if I avoid too much on everything around me, I will piss everyone around me and put myself in
lone island.
- is knowing asperger good to an as pie? Or not knowing is better? I don't see myself tuned to be feeling better after I know more. Everything in my life still seemed failure. Although, my mom always say that I am "heartless" and I should feel blessed for having more things (in materialism) way
- how should I tell others that I am different? Telling *asperger* things academically couldn't work. Since i tried on my mom, it failed. Or should I tell them just I am stupid? Or not adaptable to any unfamiliar things? Or I am just forgetful?


_________________
William
Asian
My NT score: 35%
You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.


icyfire4w5
Veteran
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Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 660

30 Aug 2012, 12:26 am

Um, I usually take the train instead of buses so I'm not very sure about various bus routes in my neighborhood. As long as you tell people politely that you aren't very sure about bus routes, they won't blame you. In my case, people don't blame me because they know that I rarely take buses. Sad to say, based on my own experiences, most people tend to make snide remarks if you tell them that you are an Aspie. Some people even equate AS with lunancy, so might as well don't tell.



Cfroi
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 23 Jul 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 150
Location: Hong Kong

30 Aug 2012, 4:18 am

icyfire4w5 wrote:
Um, I usually take the train instead of buses so I'm not very sure about various bus routes in my neighborhood. As long as you tell people politely that you aren't very sure about bus routes, they won't blame you. In my case, people don't blame me because they know that I rarely take buses. Sad to say, based on my own experiences, most people tend to make snide remarks if you tell them that you are an Aspie. Some people even equate AS with lunancy, so might as well don't tell.

Yeah, I am struggling whether to tell. But most of the time I just say I dont like to talk much.
btw, I eventually ruin that event by muted too much. And, in the online what's app group discussion, I ignore their further exciting dicussion of more coming events.


_________________
William
Asian
My NT score: 35%
You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.