Do people choose to be gay?

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What do you think?

I think the "why would anyone choose to be "gay" because of all the hatred they get" is a poor argument against such being a choice. People choose to skateboard despite all the injuries they wind up getting. People make odd choices.

I think the better argument is, "do people choose to be straight?"

I suspect that there are many people who mistakenly confusing making choices about our sexual behaviour with making choices about our sexual orientation. A person can, after all, choose to be celibate regardless of sexual orientation. This does not mean that they are asexual; it merely means that they have chosen not to engage in sexual activity.

But that does not mean that every person can make such a choice. Sexuality is integral to who we are, and is a necessary component to a healthy life for most people.

People generally choose to have gay sex or straight sex (or both at the same time or different times). They very probably make that decision based upon what sexually excites them.

People generally choose to have romance with their own gender or another (or both at the same time or different times). They very probably make that decision based upon what romantically excites them.

Do people choose to be treated as less then human by their family and friends, denied legal rights in marriage, the ability to adopt and their physical safety due to ignorant hateful people?

I think you know the answer already.

No, I don't believe it is. One of my roommates my first year of college was gay. My niece is gay. Several of my closest friends are bisexual. From what they have told me about their experiences, I don't believe homosexuality or bisexuality are choices anymore than heterosexuality is.

You can't consciously control who you're attracted to.

No, they don't choose.

I've always liked Gore Vidal's formulation - 'there are no homosexual or heterosexual people, only homosexual and heterosexual acts'.

I question whether that is exactly right (since some people obviously very much prefer the idea of sex with men, or with women) but I think through very much of the history of most cultures, that was generally how things were thought of. Soldiers would have wives back home, but perhaps they'd get a bit lonely on a long campaign...

Do people choose to be left-handed?

Whether sexual orientation is nature, nurture, or a combination of the two, it is mostly decided by the time a person is a toddler.

Therefore, in either case, "choice" would not be an accurate term for it.

Yup. Anyway, maybe he said it for the lols. I recently heard he was once asked if his first sexual experience was with a man or a woman. His response - 'I was too polite to ask'.

It's all about definitions and categories, and things are never as simple as we might hope.

There - I've just put a stop to every debate ever.

We don't choose our basic urges. We can choose our actions regardless of our urges.

ruveyn

To an extent. But let's be honest, here-- the way a person is wired is obviously always going to provide some restrictions on the "free" range of action. That's the case with virtually any major internal aspect of a person's constitution or personality. I'm a straight male; I don't fraternize with other males because the way I'm wired, it just doesn't really even occur to me. I'm 100% comfortable as a teetotaler; if I so chose, I could go out to one of Vancouver's night clubs right now and order a Manhattan or a Screwdriver or a Tequila Sunrise, but it doesn't really ever occur to me. I gravitate toward the arts and harnessing my natural creativity; if I were trained I could theoretically devote my life to being a doctor or a lawyer instead of an artist, but it doesn't really ever occur to me. And anyway, the reason those things don't occur to me is because I know they'd make me miserable, so my mind automatically classifies them as eventualities that will, with 99.99999% certitude, never come up, and therefore aren't worth devoting the precious memory space.

Extrapolating upon your point, I suppose it's possible for a gay man to marry a woman and live as a heterosexual, if the social pressure is great enough. But I have a difficult time believing that such an existence would be as truly fulfilling as it would if he could not have to constantly be at odds with his natural wiring.

That would make it a choice.

My wife is bisexual, and tells me she has had same sex attractions since her childhood. And our best man and one of my oldest friends - who is gay - had told me that he also had had same sex attractions from the very start, even though he had hidden it well into adulthood.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

People choose to act on their homosexuality. I don't believe they choose whether or not to BE homosexual.