Can you be Aspie and affectionate?

Page 5 of 6 [ 85 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Kenya
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,900
Location: West Springfield, MA

18 Dec 2014, 1:28 pm

I believe that Aspies can be affectionate. I'm an Aspie and there have been plenty of occasions where I've desired affection. I've even fantasized about receiving affection from one of the opposite sex (aside from my mom) partially because I've never had a girlfriend. Despite this, I still want to know what it's like to kiss and even snuggle with a girl among other things. So yeah, I believe that desiring affection is normal for an Aspie though it doesn't apply to every Aspie necessarily. Every Aspie is different and what one might desire another could just as easily be terrified of. It's all just a matter of knowing what you're comfortable with.



SIDWULF
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 111
Location: Vancouver

18 Dec 2014, 8:52 pm

I am super affectionate and LOVED all the cute stuff with my past girlfriends =) That includes holding hands, cuddling (for hours), hugging, brushing my face/nose/lips on hers, kissing softly, kissing her face everywhere. All the innocent things. All hightend by my sensitivity to touch. As far as being touched it's difficult sometimes as being tickled or touched lightly makes me angry. Being touched in this way is overwhelming and feels like I'm recieving an electric shock. Around my torso is super sensitive to touch especially my belly. I don't like being touched on my sides or my belly at all.

It's a conflicted thing.



Kenya
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,900
Location: West Springfield, MA

19 Dec 2014, 3:07 pm

NoGyroApproach wrote:
Hi Sarthos-
Yes aspies can be affectionate. They may not outwardly show it in the same way that an NT does. The other thing I hear that really gets me down is when I hear that people on the autistic spectrum are unemotionally. That one for me really hurts. I may not express outward emotion the way an NT does but that does not mean a person with aspergers or autism is heartless and emotionless.

I wish you luck in your quest :)


I can definitely relate to the emotional side of this. For over a decade before I was diagnosed as an Aspie, my mom in particular noticed that whenever she asked me to smile for a picture that my smiles were small, soft, and almost hardly noticeable plus that I had a flat affect in that I wouldn't show much emotion in speech. After I was diagnosed and she learned more about it, she came to realize that I just have a different way of expressing emotion and that I do it on a different level. I have worked over the years on my affect, but I'll never be the type of person who does one of those big cartoony grins because it's just not something I'm comfortable with. That doesn't mean I'm an emotionless shell of a human being. I'm just more reserved at times. Get me hopped up on 2 cans of Monster though and I swear I become as hyperactive and bubbly as Pinkie Pie. Not even joking.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

20 Dec 2014, 3:45 am

I too can be like pinkie pie at times. I am also like here in how I always try to make others happy.



stephasaurus666
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 19 Sep 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

19 Sep 2016, 4:12 pm

Has anyone experienced selective affection?

I don't touch anyone, ever, except my boyfriend whom it seems I need to constantly touch. As with selective mutism, it's like I save all of it up until I'm with him and then completely unload. It feels like relief and comfort.

I've noticed that hugs are the exception. I bear hug him all the time, but I feel smothered if he does it.

Why only one person and not even my own parents :?: :?: :?:



FluttercordAspie93
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Sep 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,374
Location: San Antonio, TX

19 Sep 2016, 4:50 pm

From my experience, Aspies can be very affectionate and they do care about their loved ones, it's just that they have a funny way of showing it; extrovert wise, they may come off as cold and aloof, but introvert wise, they can be some of the most affectionate people you will ever know, and some people even think that these feelings go much deeper than most NTs' do.

That just what I think, anyway.


_________________
"The important thing is not how long you live, it's what you accomplish with your life. While I live, I want to shine. I want to prove that I exist." --- Grovyle, (Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky).
---
"Whether it's in our own or another world... It's always darkest before the dawn." --- Dusknoir, (Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon).
---
“That for one day I could be one of those happy, vapid girls who gets along with everyone, and is all excited to eat massive amounts of sugar, and do karaoke, and cheerleading and ponytails. I just don’t think it’s in my DNA.” --- Gwen, (Total Drama Island, Episode 21: Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon).
---
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 112 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 97 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

19 Sep 2016, 7:37 pm

FluttercordAspie93 wrote:
From my experience, Aspies can be very affectionate and they do care about their loved ones, it's just that they have a funny way of showing it; extrovert wise, they may come off as cold and aloof, but introvert wise, they can be some of the most affectionate people you will ever know, and some people even think that these feelings go much deeper than most NTs' do.

That just what I think, anyway.



I would happen to agree with this completely.



lidsmichelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 686
Location: South-eastern Washington

19 Sep 2016, 7:42 pm

I'm very physically affectionate with people I care about.


_________________
Herein You Will Find Various And Numerous And Innumerable Hexes, Curses, Words In The Old Tongue To Cleave A’Twain Friend, Foe, Family Alike. If You So Choose. Money Hates Me, God Hates Me, My Wife Hates Me, My Own Hands Hate Me. But Thats All Beside The Point. The Point Is That My Time Here On Earth Runs Short. Im Not Dying But You All Are. Im A Glass Of Wine. Nothing Beats A Glass Of Wine. When The Kids Arent Home And Your A Mother Theres A Glass Of Wine There. A Glass Coffee Table And I’m A Glass Of Wine. Stressful Day When The Kids And Youre Husband Then Glass Of Wine. Dark Chocolate Indulge. Petty Indulgences. When Youre A Glass Of Wine And Let The Body’s Hit The Floor. When Your Glass Of Wine Is Running Short And You Say Heck What Of It. Why Dont I Have Another. Bartender I Am A Glass Of Wine. Bottoms Up And The Devil Laughs. The Bartender Remembers When It Happened. They All Remember When It Happened And If They Knew That You Dont Remember Then They Would Know That Something Is Awry Here Or So They Would Think. Something Would Be Amiss Or Smells Fishy. So Theyre All Relating There Stories Of Where They Were When That Event Happened And The Eyes Move Clockwise About The Room Where We All Share Our Glass Of Wine And Suddenly The Clock Ticks To You And They Ask The Fatal Question That Destroys Your Reputation, The Question You Could Never Answer, The Dead Giveaway: Where Were You When The Bodies Hit The Floor


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 71,566
Location: Queens, NYC

19 Sep 2016, 7:46 pm

I'm probably better at giving affection than receiving it.

I enjoy physical affection--but I sometimes recoil from it.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

20 Sep 2016, 12:07 am

stephasaurus666 wrote:
Has anyone experienced selective affection?

I don't touch anyone, ever, except my boyfriend whom it seems I need to constantly touch. As with selective mutism, it's like I save all of it up until I'm with him and then completely unload. It feels like relief and comfort.

I've noticed that hugs are the exception. I bear hug him all the time, but I feel smothered if he does it.

Why only one person and not even my own parents :?: :?: :?:
i dont know but I'm the same way so since I'm single forever I miss out on vital physical touch.
My family finds it irritating



Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

21 Sep 2016, 9:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm probably better at giving affection than receiving it.

I enjoy physical affection--but I sometimes recoil from it.


Is there a specific reason this happens?

I'm just trying to understand.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 71,566
Location: Queens, NYC

21 Sep 2016, 10:26 pm

In recent times, I haven't really recoiled from it too much--but when I was younger, I wasn't too much into being touched. I believe this is sensory-related. I still don't like it when men are affectionate with me.



Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

21 Sep 2016, 10:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In recent times, I haven't really recoiled from it too much--but when I was younger, I wasn't too much into being touched. I believe this is sensory-related. I still don't like it when men are affectionate with me.


That's pretty much what I thought your answer might be. :-)



Spiderpig
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,893

21 Sep 2016, 11:58 pm

The tricky part is to find someone interested in your affection. Other people's interest in anything has to be earned.


_________________
The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Bridgette77
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 23 May 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 302
Location: US.

22 Sep 2016, 12:14 am

Spiderpig wrote:
The tricky part is to find someone interested in your affection. Other people's interest in anything has to be earned.


So, very, true. And, the trickier part is, finding someone who won't take advantage of your affections. By the way, I love your signature.



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

22 Sep 2016, 8:56 am

My girlfriend would probably be classified as "overly affectionate" to most people. I sometimes feel a bit self-conscious about it when we're out in public, but privately I love it. We're perfect for each other. She annoys everyone else in her family (including the dog) with her constant smothering. :lol: