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dgd1788
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03 Dec 2006, 8:41 pm

My brother tells me that I am stuck up about myself. Not just because of how I talk but my self esteem hinders me from just being myself and not worrying about what others think.

He says that intelligence means nothing to others, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

Should I listen to my brother?


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Yupa
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03 Dec 2006, 8:44 pm

I pride myself on my pomposity. I show off my charming good looks, my marvelous wit and my extensive self-education in history, literature and the arts at every opportunity. I'm a classical narcissist.
Well, actually I consider myself a neo-classical narcissist.



CockneyRebel
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03 Dec 2006, 8:45 pm

I'm sure that everybody in my town thinks I'm pompous.



SteveK
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03 Dec 2006, 8:59 pm

I HAVE been called arrogant, etc...

My mother calls me a lot, and she reminded me today that even one of my teachers in highschool, and the students, called me the professor. I guess because of some apparantly pedantic speech.

Yeah, nobody cares how intelligent you are? Isn't the idea for it to help YOU?

If I had it to do over, I wouldn't listen to such things.

Just try to speak to the audience, and tone it done a LITTLE.

Steve



Dart
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03 Dec 2006, 9:16 pm

I don't talk to people outside of my family enough for them to even form much of an opinion of me. But people do think that I'm really smart.



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03 Dec 2006, 9:45 pm

I've been banned from a few "parents of ASD Kids" boards because the parents thought I acted too much like I know it all. Of course, I do :lol:



Lightning88
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03 Dec 2006, 10:00 pm

I'm called arrogant and conceited all the time but it doesn't bother me one bit. I know I'm conceited and arrogant. I can't help it if I have a high self-esteem of myself. Hey, at least I'm not depressed! lol



NeoPlatonist
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03 Dec 2006, 10:32 pm

I think that at different times I either come off as pompous or scared shitless. When I talk about my obsessions I'm sure I come across as egotistical about my work. In some ways it's justified; I have been doing some of the best designs in the theater department here and I have some of the highest responsibilities. So yeah, I'm pompous.

When it comes to doing normal things, I have the self confidence of... well, something that doesn't have any self confidence.


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dgd1788
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03 Dec 2006, 11:02 pm

NeoPlatonist wrote:
I think that at different times I either come off as pompous or scared shitless. When I talk about my obsessions I'm sure I come across as egotistical about my work. In some ways it's justified; I have been doing some of the best designs in the theater department here and I have some of the highest responsibilities. So yeah, I'm pompous.

When it comes to doing normal things, I have the self confidence of... well, something that doesn't have any self confidence.


Luckily I don't have to worry about work, because I work at home; I am a telemarketer, and I do a hell of a good job because of my Pedantic way of speaking.


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diseased
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03 Dec 2006, 11:09 pm

Been called pompous and god-only-knows how many synonyms for same.
One thing that works for me is not giving a damn, dependent upon who it is that's calling me pompous. My wife or a friend of ours? Carries vastly more weight than some dork in line at the store. Dork in line at the store can bite me for all I care.



Callista
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04 Dec 2006, 1:49 am

dgd1788 wrote:
My brother tells me that I am stuck up about myself. Not just because of how I talk but my self esteem hinders me from just being myself and not worrying about what others think.
Well, if he's right, you're not stuck up--you're just so anxious that others will see you as worthless that you act stuck up. But a lot of Aspies unintentionally communicate "stuck-up" without wanting to... ask your brother to be more specific.

Quote:
He says that intelligence means nothing to others, and that I shouldn't worry about it.
Intelligence matters to a lot of people. If someone's "dumb" or "slow", they usually get patronized, pitied, or looked down on... If someone's intelligent but not living up to it, they're said to be "lazy". But people generally don't look down on you if you act as though you have average intelligence; and they may actually look down on you if you act "too smart" because you might seem stuck up to them--they can read into your actions, "I know things you don't know so I'm better than you".

Quote:
Should I listen to my brother?
Yes, but evaluate his comments and only believe him if they make sense. A sibling is pretty close to you and may not be able to offer an unbiased viewpoint.


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Awesomelyglorious
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04 Dec 2006, 3:07 am

I guess I can be arrogant. I usually am more crazy than arrogant though. Usually other people are more arrogant than myself as I am more concerned with having a good time. Really, I usually end up in conflict with arrogant people more than accused of arrogance myself.



MikeH106
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04 Dec 2006, 3:55 am

Pomp is when you exaggerate your own importance. Arrogance involves comparing yourself to others.

Sometimes I am pompous, but I try not to be. However, my melody of obsession can be heard as very pompous. Do you think I should stop listening to it for that reason?


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ping-machine
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04 Dec 2006, 4:07 am

Do other people think I'm pompous? Maybe. I don't know.

dgd1788 wrote:
He says that intelligence means nothing to others, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

Should I listen to my brother?


You sound like an intelligent person. Pride yourself on that. The problem - and the reason that so many people have low self esteem - is that in our society any source of pride is seen as a source of self-conceit.

Should you worry about intelligence? There is a reason for yes and a reason for no. On the one hand, of course you should strive to improve yourself in every way that you can. If it is important to you, then it matters. If it is not important to anyone else, so what?

On the other hand, you should not let it worry you to the point where you become stressed and lose confidence. Of course this is hard to do, but as a philosophy this can be a useful starting point.


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DerekD_Goldfish
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04 Dec 2006, 7:11 am

Yes I often come accros as pompous
I tend to walk into a paked room and have both a superiority complex and a inferiority complex at the smae time.
Which means I can come accros as pompous, Arrogant and rude while also being shy and uncomfortable .
Its a interesting mix



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04 Dec 2006, 11:24 am

I talk in a pompous way sometimes but I think it's because I tend to use too many words, finding it quite difficult to form simple sentences. They tend to turn out over-complicated. I'm not sure if I'm pompous in real life though, maybe sometimes. :)