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JoeRose
Pileated woodpecker
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31 Aug 2012, 12:09 pm

Does anybody else get this?
I look around me sometimes at social events and just watch people interacting. And a lot of the time all I can see is people being false and attempting to mask their own insecurities (especially when alcohol is involved). I'd say 90% of the time in social situations I feel really cringey for the way the person is interacting with me and others around them.
One guy I was speaking to last night had this whole macho/bravado thing going on where he'd stand extremely close to you and get in your face in this really intimidating way and would spout absolute nonsense whenever asked a question. His response would always be this chauvinistic answer that would be his way of showing off just how much of an alpha-male he was. All I could do was cringe as I could see right through it.
(that's only one example but I could think of many more.)

Is this an aspie thing? Being able to kind of see through the fakery, the BS, the act of falseness that most people have to put on in order to socialise?

(However, it is of note, that I still feel jealous of these people I witness. Even though I cringe at the fakery of their interactions - at least they can interact in some way. Where as I am just kind of stood there doing nothing).



mljt
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31 Aug 2012, 12:24 pm

Totally. Not quite the same, but someone in a meeting this morning kept talking way too much, interrupting, going off on tangents to talk about what she wanted etc. I was sitting there cringing thinking "If I can notice this stuff, what the hell is everyone else thinking??"

I think it's a control thing for me. This person was associated with me, and even though I can come across as weird socially, I'm still ultimately in control of what I'm doing. When she's making me look bad, I have nothing to control! I'd much rather say nothing than act like she was.



Sanctus
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31 Aug 2012, 12:36 pm

Yeah, I know that feeling.

Actually it was one of the reasons that made me doubt whether I can actually have Asperger's. I can see through other's intentions and thoughts most of the time. I just have to look at someone and can tell you whether he/she is faking whatever they're doing, saying, pretending at the moment. A very amusing, but also annoying aspect is when people stare at me (for whatever reason) and I can feel exactly that they think I'm not noticing anything. Sometimes I just want to yell "OH YOU'RE BEING REALLY SUBTLE HUH". :roll:



Underscore
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31 Aug 2012, 12:59 pm

Yea. Exact same thing. And people aren't actually fake when they do things like that, they just like it / appreciate it. It's another dimension that they enjoy, and AS people can't understand. NT people like to act like that and do it in different ways. And we don't like it at all. I think. It doesn't give me, personally, anything but misery, not fun at all.