Does anyone else feel like they are trapped behind a glass..
I'm so happy to come across this post!
This is exactly how I feel. Unable to really take part in life and feel it as it all goes by so quickly.
Very painful. I described it to my pychologist today and she started talking about it as if it's a defense mechanism - you know like we put up walls when we've been hurt to protect ourselves - but I think it's different. I think it's an Autistic thing.
Zel.
_________________
Diagnosed with AS, PTSD & Bipolar2.
This feeling of having a 'glass wall' or 'glass box' around me has been what I've tried to describe to people for so long without having the words for it!
When I find out I could explain how I experienced the world, and that this is what made me feel like I was different and separated from others, that made total sense. I used to wonder "maybe I'm from another planet"
Now I understand that is wall of glass perception is very very common in asperger's syndrome, actually it may well be at the core of it.
Only and only if I stop thinking about myself completely and only focus about everyone else -- what they do, what they think, what they feel.
If I have the desire to be or if I have to mind to be "with others", this would happen too, because I've been thinking about what they'll think and feel, what they'll do about my presence than myself -- all about them than about me.
There's just a really weird paradoxical switch thing to it in my case.
Mine isn't limited to being trapped in a glass; influencing no one and being influenced by no one, there's also being a ping-pong ball -- influencing no one and yet being influenced by everyone.
Then there's the independent agent where I only influence and is influenced by no one. This usually happens either you're a charming reliable and trustworthy person, or a spoiled and needy child who would have a fit if one gets in your way and is everyone's worry.
The ideal, as I observed, is to influence everyone and be influenced all the same.
And if I think of myself this also means my actions reflecting towards others.
However, this may mean ending up daydreaming and repeating patterns (whether a sensation, a memory, etc.)
This also means if I have the cognitive power and emotional control to uplift (or dampen myself down) translated in messages "readable" by others, the less "trapped behind in a glass" I'm, and more like in a damn spotlight on a set without a script of my own and everyone knows theirs.
The best experience I got was influencing everything and everyone reacts the way how I want it.
Defying a script correctly is like defying less conscious parts of relationship dynamics -- which is typically hard for humans to breakthrough.
So I concluded so far that if I want to feel less of being trapped in a glass (or worse, a reactive mess of a ping-pong ball instead), I just need adequate (internal) sensory and emotional regulation to stop being in my own head.
To actually influence greater than that, I need the full spectrum of executive functions.
_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).
Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I feel embarrassed
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
11 Apr 2024, 2:36 am |
I feel embarrassed
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
31 Dec 1969, 7:00 pm |
Should I feel bad for having few friends |
15 Apr 2024, 5:12 am |
I feel so invisible |
11 Apr 2024, 10:04 pm |