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infilove
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04 Sep 2012, 1:05 am

One thing that absolutely drives me nuts when trying to socialize with poeple is if your with a group of people (even worse people you don't really know well) and they talk about things you know absolutely nothing about. For example specific celebrity gossip, a singer you never heard of, a movie you haven't seen, or a topic you know nothing about and the whole entire group goes on and on about for several minutes and everyone is excitedly animated and a part of the whole conversation except for you and you feel left out. This drives me crazy sometimes! Does this strike a nerve and drive you crazy too?


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Radiofixr
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04 Sep 2012, 9:49 am

Yes it I hate it when that happens to me I just get real frustrated and try to hide.


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TonyHoyle
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04 Sep 2012, 3:24 pm

I just walk away.

Drives me nuts, too.. it's like they've formed an exclusive group that deliberately removes people who aren't into some TV programme or something.



Colinn
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04 Sep 2012, 5:58 pm

Yes I've experienced this. I find it quite ignorant as well if its been made clear you don't know anything about the topic but they break away and continue to talk about it anyway. My preference would probably be just to walk away as I feel its a waste of my time waiting for an opportunity for some input when I'm not a big fan of socializing as it is.



CrystalStars
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04 Sep 2012, 6:09 pm

Ye- Oh wait, I don't socialize with others. What you've stated being one of the many, many reasons why.


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Last edited by CrystalStars on 04 Sep 2012, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

anneurysm
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04 Sep 2012, 6:21 pm

This personally annoys me, as this happens a lot and I find it difficult to keep track of what other people tend to like since I'm pretty focused on myself and my interests when I'm not around them. Still, I like learning about what others like, so I'll ask a question or two about what they're talking about.


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daydreamer84
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04 Sep 2012, 7:24 pm

Yes indeed this does drive me nuts!



thewhitrbbit
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04 Sep 2012, 8:40 pm

People talk about what they know, and what they think others will know. There is a body of knowledge that is generally considered "general knowledge" I've found.

You can't get mad at them for talking about what they know. I pay attention and listen as best I can.



infilove
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06 Sep 2012, 12:14 am

^^ you bring a good point.


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KeitaroKun
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06 Sep 2012, 12:25 am

Irony: "YOUR INTERESTS ARE SO RESTRICTED!!"



daydreamer84
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06 Sep 2012, 8:39 pm

Today I was describing some of my social problems to my new psychologist who is helping me with social anxiety among other things. I was explaining why I feel uncomfortable in groups/ don't like to go out with my one friend's other friends and one of the things I said was that people talk about things I know/care absolutely nothing- there are many things I am interested in and/or do care about - but a lot of things like celebrity gossip, the Olympics, current events,cute boys, comics, manga and anime ect. that I don't........ and she said that I should learn more about those things/keep up with what's going on in the world. The thing is I really don't want to spend my spare time learning about these things......I'm bad enough with time management doing the things I do enjoy and what I have to do. Also I don't want to completely lose myself...change myself too much. I spend 5 or 6 hours at night reading and on days when I don't have school or school work that's coming due I read even more than that......but that is such a big part of me and of the satisfaction I get our of life and I don't really want to change it.

I don't think my interests are THAT restrictive. I'm interested in psychology and autism or I wouldn't be on this site, I'm interested in linguistics and word play, root words and etymology making up words ,there are certain t.v shows I watch (mostly while I eat), I swim, and I'm interested in fantasy and science fiction novels...... and I can talk to people about my experiences and listen to them tell about theirs and listen to people talk about their lives and give them advice. It's just that I'm not interested in quite what other people are interested in -I love to read fantasy but I don't like to dress up in costume and go to comic cons (which my friends love) mostly because of the sensory overload and I don't like crowds. My friend likes comic books and anime and I can't get into it. My friend/family/friend's friends ect watch different t.v shows from me ect.



KeitaroKun
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07 Sep 2012, 12:47 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
Today I was describing some of my social problems to my new psychologist who is helping me with social anxiety among other things. I was explaining why I feel uncomfortable in groups/ don't like to go out with my one friend's other friends and one of the things I said was that people talk about things I know/care absolutely nothing- there are many things I am interested in and/or do care about - but a lot of things like celebrity gossip, the Olympics, current events,cute boys, comics, manga and anime ect. that I don't........ and she said that I should learn more about those things/keep up with what's going on in the world. The thing is I really don't want to spend my spare time learning about these things......I'm bad enough with time management doing the things I do enjoy and what I have to do. Also I don't want to completely lose myself...change myself too much. I spend 5 or 6 hours at night reading and on days when I don't have school or school work that's coming due I read even more than that......but that is such a big part of me and of the satisfaction I get our of life and I don't really want to change it.

I don't think my interests are THAT restrictive. I'm interested in psychology and autism or I wouldn't be on this site, I'm interested in linguistics and word play, root words and etymology making up words ,there are certain t.v shows I watch (mostly while I eat), I swim, and I'm interested in fantasy and science fiction novels...... and I can talk to people about my experiences and listen to them tell about theirs and listen to people talk about their lives and give them advice. It's just that I'm not interested in quite what other people are interested in -I love to read fantasy but I don't like to dress up in costume and go to comic cons (which my friends love) mostly because of the sensory overload and I don't like crowds. My friend likes comic books and anime and I can't get into it. My friend/family/friend's friends ect watch different t.v shows from me ect.


My story is very similar! Seriously, I HATE learning about stuff JUST for the sake of being more relateable. The thing is, with celebrity gossip and other shallow, insipid nonsense, you're better off WITHOUT people like that. Quality over quantity. I realized a whie ago that hat's just how I am. I like what I like and that's that. I'm willing to look at new stuff if it really looks compelling, but I am myself and if anybody can't accept me for that, f**k 'em. I've already found wonderful friends and I feel like I'm well on my way to having a nice girlfriend. It's better to have a bunch of enemies and a few close friends than have everybody think you're okay.



onks
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08 Sep 2012, 12:37 pm

infilove wrote:
One thing that absolutely drives me nuts when trying to socialize with poeple is if your with a group of people (even worse people you don't really know well) and they talk about things you know absolutely nothing about. For example specific celebrity gossip, a singer you never heard of, a movie you haven't seen, or a topic you know nothing about and the whole entire group goes on and on about for several minutes and everyone is excitedly animated and a part of the whole conversation except for you and you feel left out. This drives me crazy sometimes! Does this strike a nerve and drive you crazy too?


Yes I know that feeling. Though I dont get crazy, more bored. And if I realise there is nobody I can talk to I start to feel very alone...

But it depends quite much on my mood, as well. Sometimes I can even find small talk amusing...

Right now I get confused because I am otherwise thinking a lot and I loose the contact quite often.
I mostly communicate in Finnish, which is not my mother tongue.
Usually I am quite good in that, but somehow I have lost something of it....

En jaksa aina taistella kun muuten voi olla jo todella hankala seurata vaikka äidinkielellä ihmisryhmien keskustelu jos on meteliä

That kind of stuff...



Who_Am_I
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09 Sep 2012, 6:48 am

I'm used to it.


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outofplace
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10 Sep 2012, 3:58 am

KeitaroKun wrote:
Irony: "YOUR INTERESTS ARE SO RESTRICTED!!"


I have gotten that so many times it's not even funny. Then I point out the wide variety of subjects I like to talk about and they still call me restricted because I can't discuss sports or pop culture! I can talk about history, politics, cars, religion, science, technology, prepping, home repairs and improvements, and a wide variety of educational television programming, but I can't talk about American Idol so it doesn't matter...


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10 Sep 2012, 8:52 am

I also find it ironic how we supposedly have the 'restricted interests', not the NT crowd. In High School especially, almost every conversation revolved around sex and alcohol, usually both at the same time. One of the reasons for being a complete hermit until recently was that I had no interest or understanding of either until a few years ago and had a wide variety of interests at that age (like the meaning of existence, are black holes real, is time and space real or a figment of our collective imaginations, etc) that NOBODY cared about. Yet I'm the one with the 'disorder'. Go figure!