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ctrmom
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05 Dec 2006, 5:14 am

I am in a state of confusion and frustration. Bear with me while I give the background information and then offer any information or input you feel will help or enlighten.

DS is 10. We have had a long struggle with school issues. He has emotional problems and is so easily frustrated. First struggles were with inattention and social problems. We sought help via school evaluation because of poor handwriting and some reversals in both numbers and letters.

The school denied special education services due to the handwriting issues because DS did not show he struggled with developmentally or academic pursuits. School officials did no however heistate to label him ADD/ADHD without benefit of an evaluation. We did not feel DS was ADD or Hyperactive. At the case study meeting that DS was denied services to help him with his handwriting his teacher said that he could very well be gifted except for his attentions issues. They wanted us to have him evaluated for ADD. We were so against the idea of medication for ADD. I went to the school counselor and told her that I feel DS has emotional issues and she told me that since we would not medicate we had no other options. She even referred to him being a problem Child. 8O I was :x How dare she. She could have said he was a child with a problem but to call him a problem child. DS and another child was sent to the office for classroom issues. They did not contact me. DS told me when he got home and when I called to find out what was going on the Principal said "these two ADD students were sent to my office" :roll: So the school lost so much credibility.

DS continued to struggle. We sought help through the military social work services office and Chapel Family life center. We were hoping for help and got some. The Chaplain introduced us to the school child Psychologist .. which we did not even know existed. :x She has worked with DS. DS had a great teacher for his 4th grade year who was drastically different from the teacher the year before who had labeled him and constantly threatened him with punishments and even being put back a grade. Imagine being told that when you read two grade levels above your peers. When you Take the Terra Nova with above average results.

So the teacher we needed came along . But that year passed. DS had his struggles but he survived. We got him seen by a child psychologist and was told he had depression and possible anxiety.
New school year... major struggles for DS. We decided to start the evaluation at the end of his 4th grade year know ing that he would not be a good match with the teacher situation .

In the middle of the evaluation now and the psychatrist says Aspergers.
I have done alot of research due to DS's struggles. I don't know if I am in denial or truly doubt the DX.

The trait ( I apolgize if I misunderstood about the syndrome - I am still uninformed.) where Aspie kids have a disconnect does not seem to be my son. He does have other traits or characteristics that might be Aspie related but I am really confused and unsure.

The lack of interest in others and the eye contact and or gaze thing does not match DS. I had someone once tell me that if she knew one thing about DS was that he must have eye contact when talking with someone. He wanted others to look him in the eye when he spoke to them.

Nonverbal cues... picking up on them well I just do not know.

DS is high strung at times. HE is difficult,. Arguementative ( gets him in major trouble at school)
He hates bright lights or just lights in the morning.
He does drag his feet and delay putting clothes on.
He is a picky eater.

So we need a second opinon and I know this. I have a hard time with someone talking to or just observing DS once and saying he has this or that.

DS has been said to be.. ADD ADHD, ODD, depressed, have anxiety, be immature. Possibly gifted, He does not have a high IQ score but it is high average.
He is very verbal , bright and he does want friends!! ! He struggles.
So anyone want to give me any insight or advice.

Sorry this is so long but ... individuals are complicated... Some say DS is very complicated. :lol:
I would offer more... but I do not know if you want to read a book or not.

Oh one more thing DS has had major stressors in his life. Which keeps me going back to the emotional disorder possibilities. Such stressors.. he is a military kid whoes father did go to war. We moved overseas when he was at a young age. . He was possibly exploited by a child molestor when he was 3 . He has a mother.. with depression. He has a father who seems to be work addicted.



Catalyst
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05 Dec 2006, 5:44 am

Not an expert, but I'll give you my impression---

emotional problems, easily frustrated, inattention, social problems, could well be gifted except for attentions issues, high strung, difficult, argumentantive, hates bright lights, picky eater-- these all sound like AS, all right.

poor handwriting, reversals in numbers and letters- I have heard that this might be related, but it could well indicate something else entirely, or a second problem. I can tell you that my cursive writing is so bad that I started printing as soon as I could get away with it.

"He does drag his feet and delay putting clothes on" -- sounds like a sure sign that he's 10.

As far as the eye contact goes... does he overdo the eye contact? He may have learned how vital is, and learned how to force himself to make eye contact. Me, I either don't do enough eye contact or creep the hell out of the person with whom I'm talking.

Eye contact seems to be one of the most prevalent issues, so if his eye contact is perfectly normal, I'd definitely consider that a possible flag that it's not AS.

Have you had him take any of the online tests?


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ctrmom
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05 Dec 2006, 5:48 am

are they on this site??

The eye contact I mentioned it because it seemed so not a trait of Aspergers. He does not stare. Not to my knowledge has he ever avoided eye contact. Sometimes he seems so engrossed in his books or his computer that he fails to look at you when you speak to him. I just looked at the list of things some Docs look for .. with regards to the nonverbal cues.. he does not seem to met that. He is friendly and seeks to converse with others. He has interest in relationships.



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05 Dec 2006, 6:31 am

The online quizzes aren't directly on this site, no, but this thread links to the most extensive one that I have seen:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... 06&start=0

Being friendly and seeking to converse with others is not a disqualifier for AS. It's his skill in doing so that's the question.


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krex
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05 Dec 2006, 7:11 am

Most people with AS,expecially when young,want friends.Sometimes,the friendship can get put on hold when your doing one of your obsessions.Does he have any obsessions?Does he become very upset when interrupted in the middle of his reading or computer time?

Also,when getting a DX,the individual doesnt have to meat every criteria.Just 2 out of 4 or 1 out of four in each section.I would agree that the DX should take more then a few hours to reach a conclussion!!!There are many tests to determine if he has AS or learning disabilities or co-morbids.It is completely possible and not uncommon to have more then one thing going on,each effecting a different area of his behavior.

I did not get a DX until I was 42.I think it would have made a big difference in my life and learning if I had when I was younger.Depression ad anxiety are common to AS.Imagine wanting to be "good" and wanting people to like you but always being in trouble and not havinf any friends...sound a little depressing to you?Do you think if you were getting teased or yelled at all the time for behavior which you thought was "ok"...it might create some anxiety?

I also had dyslexia when I was growing up but was an avid reader...I just couldnt spell and still cant.Thank goodness for spell check.

Anyway,your son does sound like he has some very aspie traits,I hope you find someone who is experienced in the field and can DX correctly because the result could have a big impact on how you approach your sons issues.Good luck.


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ctrmom
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05 Dec 2006, 9:13 am

I do not know the more I read the more confused I am . I do not know if I have some founded doubts or am I in denial? I am having a hard time. My DH was very against ADD evaluation and such until DS had further struggles with this DX he says .. well at least if he is reported to have this maybe the school will treat him better. I find it disheartening to feel like my son has never been given any respect. He even had a teacher call him a jerk. He resists and resents rules. He has a problem with authority . How could any child get along well when he is being bullied or feels as if he is anyway and then the school teachers and officials call him names. :x I hate that they have labeled him prior to evaluation. I have a real problem believing what officials or experts say about DS anymore. It is all so confusing. I heard your DS is this... your DS is that.. your DS has this ... he has that. Even to the point of one professional questioning the DX or statements of another. :?

I want my DS help. I spoke with a friend about the DX. I told my DH I had and he said..why did you share that?? I would not have shared that. It is not something to talk about. I told him that If DS has AS then it is not nothing to be ashamed of. We would not be heisate to speak about DS if it were say asthma.
I just do not get it. When I have doubts and I do I expressed them and DH says well maybe the school will treat DS better now .

Thanks for reading my ramble here.