I feel like a soical ret*d? Does anyone else feel this way?

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liveandrew
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24 Feb 2017, 9:25 am

SaveFerris wrote:
liveandrew wrote:
Social ret*d, here and reporting for duty! I guess a good example of my retardiness would be when, years back, I was talking to a new work colleague. He said he was from Dudley and I replied, "Ah, the Black Country!". I couldn't understand why he looked angry and refused to talk to me anymore. It was only when I went home at the end of the day that I realised that he was black and probably thought I was being racist when really I was being a total Aspie and just showing off my knowledge. Of course, I was so embarrassed that I never apologised or even spoke about it again. I felt like a real dick and it still bothers me 20 years later.


Dude thats f'ing ridiculous , that is not being socialy ret*d ( although I hate that word ) , you did nothing wrong , the problem is with your black work colleague not you. 'The Black Country' has no racist conotations , I believe it refers to the amount of coal there. It's PC gone f*****g mad , it sounds like that guy would of got angry if you asked for a black marker pen , a black bag or a black coffee ( although I think black bag and black coffee are not PC nowadays , although I use these terms ) . Talking about PC gone mad someone in the house of commons got a letter of reprimand for using the term 'lets get down to the nitty gritty' not knowing it's 18th century meaning , how many people here are going to google that coz they don't know the original meaning.


If you were black and had face an unending stream of racial abuse your whole life (this is an assumption on my part, based on his age he would have had to deal with a lot of it in the UK in the 70s) and then someone said "Ah, you come from the black country" with a big smile on their face, I wouldn't be too shocked that they'd take it the wrong way. I know that if I'd thought of its other connotation I wouldn't have used it.

I agree that Political Correctness can be taken to stupid levels (I can't call my coffee black anymore? and then there was the "manhole" issue), but on the whole, I think it's been a force for good. I remember being a kid and thinking it was alright to call my friend Sambo. Really, that's what we all called him and even worse, he didn't seem to mind. This is what normalisation of racism is, when even the victims think that it's okay. Sure, as children, we had no real understanding of the term but this sort of language was in everyday use back then. The same for people who were gay. I didn't know anyone who was gay until I was in my late teens in the mid-80s, the reason being that before that point the vast majority were too scared to come out. Sure, we could get into the whole causation/correlation argument but I'm sure that the start of the PC "movement" in the early 80s allowed people who would have been persecuted to feel safer. Really PC is just another way of saying "be decent to each other".

Seriously though, I can't call my coffee black? What do I call it then? :)


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kraftiekortie
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24 Feb 2017, 9:29 am

I was actually referred to as a "social ret*d" by my mother's boyfriend.



IstominFan
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24 Feb 2017, 9:51 am

Yes, but nowhere near as bad as when I was a kid, or even as recently as five years ago.



SaveFerris
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24 Feb 2017, 10:04 am

liveandrew wrote:

Seriously though, I can't call my coffee black? What do I call it then? :)


I'm not sure if it's just lies made up by journo scum but the term black coffee is not PC , I believe the PC term is 'coffee no milk'.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Feb 2017, 10:06 am

In some places, black coffee is known as a "regular." In NYC, though, a "regular" is a coffee with milk and two sugars.



Polly
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24 Feb 2017, 10:12 am

I've always hated the word ret*d, guess I really only heard it used as an insult not to me ( I would have smacked them) but to others.
But looking up to actual meaning that's exactly what I am socially ret*d. :D



liveandrew
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24 Feb 2017, 10:15 am

SaveFerris wrote:
liveandrew wrote:

Seriously though, I can't call my coffee black? What do I call it then? :)


I'm not sure if it's just lies made up by journo scum but the term black coffee is not PC , I believe the PC term is 'coffee no milk'.


If the story originated from the Southend New Network, then it's satire and I can go back to my black coffee. Seriously, who would kill their coffee with milk. Yuck!


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Last edited by liveandrew on 24 Feb 2017, 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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24 Feb 2017, 10:16 am

One day, in 7th grade, some kid followed me around calling me "ret*d."

He wanted to shake my hand. I tore his ligaments, costing my mother $60.

My mother was only pissed that she lost the $60.



liveandrew
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24 Feb 2017, 10:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
One day, in 7th grade, some kid followed me around calling me "ret*d."

He wanted to shake my hand. I tore his ligaments, costing my mother $60.

My mother was only pissed that she lost the $60.


I have hands like that as well :)


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SmallBun
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24 Feb 2017, 10:23 am

I wouldn't say that I'm "socially ret*d," but I'm extremely shy and often time have trouble talking to my peers. I think some adults also find me odd. Yes, okay, technically I'm an adult but I don't feel that way most of the time. I just mean people much older than me I can communicate with a bit better. I had lots of trouble in school making friends, and most of the time I didn't see the point of it.


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SaveFerris
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24 Feb 2017, 10:28 am

SmallBun wrote:
Yes, okay, technically I'm an adult but I don't feel that way most of the time.


I'm 45 and still don't feel like an adult


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rowan_nichol
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25 Feb 2017, 8:59 am

Steady on chap.

When something like that happens it may be no one's fault and down to a combination of lots of circumstances.

One is the traditional name for Dudley and the surrounding towns.
A second is many black people settling in the Midlands as that was where there was work to be found.
A third is that many black people have received rude or worse treatment simply for being black.

Such a combination sets up a bit of a trap for the unwary so it does.



248RPA
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25 Feb 2017, 10:08 am

I think until recently, I did not have the awareness level to even recognise I was a social ret*d.

There is a group of people that ask me to do some things. Then someone explained to me that they just want to mock me. I never suspected anything, so I fell for it every time. I didn't even recognise that they mocking me. Now I know to avoid them.

I only recently recognised what some ASD people mean when they say that people talk to them in a voice they use for toddlers and pets. And I realised this happens to me quite a lot.

What else is next?


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SmallBun
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25 Feb 2017, 10:15 am

248RPA wrote:
There is a group of people that ask me to do some things. Then someone explained to me that they just want to mock me. I never suspected anything, so I fell for it every time. I didn't even recognise that they mocking me. Now I know to avoid them.


This happened to me a lot in the past, which is why I just avoid people now. I don't understand why some people feel the need to do this to others, especially if they know the person may be mentally challenged. It's pretty cruel. :?


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Jacoby
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25 Feb 2017, 10:24 am

I am one for sure so there is no feeling involved, I've tried very hard to change these last couple years but it's really hard to do as an adult without any social capital left to spend.



liveandrew
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25 Feb 2017, 11:40 am

rowan_nichol wrote:
Steady on chap.

When something like that happens it may be no one's fault and down to a combination of lots of circumstances.

One is the traditional name for Dudley and the surrounding towns.
A second is many black people settling in the Midlands as that was where there was work to be found.
A third is that many black people have received rude or worse treatment simply for being black.

Such a combination sets up a bit of a trap for the unwary so it does.


Is that in response to me and if so, why the "Steady on chap"? Quoting is really helpful when replying to a specific comment.


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